He searched “how married couples split bills” — we already have a house and a baby?

[Anonymous]

OP, how do you handle finances now? That might give us a better guess as to why he was searching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

We do have combined finances. This is why I told him it wouldn’t really be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

And even those who don't are just playing a psychological game (absent a prenup) because legally, married property belongs to both.

so long as it is co-mingled. If he inherited $5mil and kept it separate, it wouldn't need to be shared, even if married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

And even those who don't are just playing a psychological game (absent a prenup) because legally, married property belongs to both.

so long as it is co-mingled. If he inherited $5mil and kept it separate, it wouldn't need to be shared, even if married.

There are a ton of variables and that is usually but not always true with inheritance, but not many other finances. No need to get into the weeds on state by state, situation by situation divorce law. The point is that it doesn't apply to OP since they aren't married -- she has none of the legal guidelines or protections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

And even those who don't are just playing a psychological game (absent a prenup) because legally, married property belongs to both.

so long as it is co-mingled. If he inherited $5mil and kept it separate, it wouldn't need to be shared, even if married.

There are a ton of variables and that is usually but not always true with inheritance, but not many other finances. No need to get into the weeds on state by state, situation by situation divorce law. The point is that it doesn't apply to OP since they aren't married -- she has none of the legal guidelines or protections.

This. I am so mystified by people who have children and buy houses with someone they are not married to. What part of this is not permanent to you? Why do the big things but not the ones that legally protect you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

We do have combined finances. This is why I told him it wouldn’t really be different.

Omg. You have combined finances, a house, and a child together. Just go to the courthouse and get married! And yea, it's kind of a problem that you are so intermingled with your boyfriend but can't seem to talk to him about basic things. I am so confused by your life.

[Anonymous]

I think there are bigger problems if you don't feel comfortable discussing/asking him this question. Strange.

[Anonymous]

How old are both of you? How old is the baby? How many years have you been together (including dating)?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he didn't actively search for it but read an article about it on Yahoo or something like that. DH and I read crap like that when we happen onto it when we're tired and are procrastinating. Doesn't mean anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

How is owning a home together as she said in the OP not combined finances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't read anything dire into it. It sounds to me like he does think about what getting and being married will look like while it sounds like for you there doesn't seem to be much in the way of investment in the timeline and dealing with more immediate things.

We got married when our son was 10. DH had bought a house and I was added to the deed and other assets when we actually made it official. Not much else really changed in terms of how we financed stuff.

Did you contribute to the purchase or other assets or he just deeded you everything ? Nice guy if so !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

How is owning a home together as she said in the OP not combined finances?

What…? You can own a house together and still have separate finances. Just like two roommates splitting the rent.

[Anonymous]

Your mistake was having a baby and buying a house before marriage. He is never going to marry you. Time to move on. He probably wants you to pay more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

And even those who don't are just playing a psychological game (absent a prenup) because legally, married property belongs to both.

so long as it is co-mingled. If he inherited $5mil and kept it separate, it wouldn't need to be shared, even if married.

There are a ton of variables and that is usually but not always true with inheritance, but not many other finances. No need to get into the weeds on state by state, situation by situation divorce law. The point is that it doesn't apply to OP since they aren't married -- she has none of the legal guidelines or protections.

This. I am so mystified by people who have children and buy houses with someone they are not married to. What part of this is not permanent to you? Why do the big things but not the ones that legally protect you?

Same here. It's a far bigger deal to have a child with somebody than it is to marry them. How can you even get excited about marrying someone when you've already done that stuff? Just sign the papers at city hall and have it protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you wondered why he didn’t propose when you got pregnant?

I figured it was money - between the baby and house it’s just been very expensive. Last year he wanted to know the cost of a wedding. I reassured him that I didn’t need anything expensive.

You shouldn’t be wondering- you need to actually communicate! I strongly suggest therapy.

+1 This is weird, OP. You’re just waiting around to see if he brings up marriage again? And no, bills in marriage aren’t usually like living together. A lot of married people have combined finances.

We do have combined finances. This is why I told him it wouldn’t really be different.

Omg. You have combined finances, a house, and a child together. Just go to the courthouse and get married! And yea, it's kind of a problem that you are so intermingled with your boyfriend but can't seem to talk to him about basic things. I am so confused by your life.

Stop comingling without marriage. Make sure you have your own checking and savings as its not like you can divorce and get half. Huge mistake.