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Sharing my recipe - am I being weird about this?
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Anonymous
| OP, I understand where you're coming from and I'd probably feel the same way. However, you need to weigh your feelings with the importance of maintaining a good relationship with your MIL. If I were in your position (and remember I would likely FEEL the same as you) I would probably offer the recipe saying that I'm flattered that she thought of me...in the whole scheme of things it's not THAT big of a deal, right? I mean, even though she's never asked for the recipe for herself (which seems to bother you), the dish made a big enough impression on her for her to think of it. For all those church cookbooks they always list the name of the person who donated it...I would certainly hope that it would list your name and your MIL isn't thinking she'd stake claim to it...that would be sort of shitty. Anyway, remember that this is for a church cookbook...the distribution will be limited. And a year from now will this really be a situation you are still dwelling or thinking about? Could you ask for a copy of the cookbook in return? And finally, if you are still feeling really conflicted about this, you could always ask your mom her preference since the recipe originated with her...just do that carefully so as not to incite bad feelings between the MILs (make sure you pitch the idea in a positive light or at the very least without bias). |
Anonymous
9 times out of 10 when someone is being weird about sharing her mother's special recipe, turns her mother got it of the back label of a can of evaporated milk or something. 
I know someone who is super secret about a particular recipe, and the exact same recipe is in about a million different cookbooks. |
Anonymous
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I wish we could put this much effort, consideration and thought into discussing really important issues...
*sigh* |
Anonymous
agree with this. |
Anonymous
That is exactly what I would do. Totally agree, especially that you shouldn't be offended that she asked, and she shouldn't be offended if you say no. |
Anonymous
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It's a little weird, but so what? We all have our quirks. In fact, you could even tell your MIL that.
"I'm a little weird about having my recipes in cookbooks, sorry. I don't know why, I just am". Or you could make up an outrageous story: "One time when I was little, *insert relative or neighbor's name here* had a bread recipe published in the newspaper and they didn't list 2 of the key ingredients in it- salt and something else- I forget what exactly-- so when people made the bread it was horrible and inedible and she got mean letters and phone calls for months afterward, and even though the paper printed a retraction, I guess a lot of people didn't see it. Anyway, so I'm really nervous about putting my recipe in a printed medium- even though I'm sure your church would get it right- I'm practically phobic about the whole thing. Sorry" |
Anonymous
| Based solely on your title, I was fully prepared to jump down your throat. However, now that I realize that the person who wants it wants to pass it off as her own for a cookbook, I'm on your side. I would either tell her no, politely and confidently, or just give her a slightly faked recipe so it's not the same. |
Anonymous
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I would politely say no, or tweak the recipe like a PP suggested. I have a dessert recipe that I wont share.
Call me what you want. But I spent weeks tweaking it. |
Anonymous
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Do people really get recipes from back of soup cans? I was talking about fresh ingredients. Yuck! |
Anonymous
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I would just say that it has a lot of sentimental value to you and that you would prefer not to have it published, but that you would be happy to share it with her for her own personal use.
I do think it is odd that she wants to submit your recipe to a church cookbook as her contribution. |
Anonymous
| I agree with you, if she wanted it so that she could cook that dish I would be ok with it, but not for her to include it in a cookbook. If she wants to contribute to the cookbook, she should create she own recipe. Also, is she planning to attribute the recipe to you? |
Anonymous
this is so SO true. why the secretiveness about a recipe? it's A RECIPE for christs sake. you're not making money off of it, there's no harm done in sharing it, and if anything - it helps to spread a good dish. what is so wrong with people cooking better and eating better? i highly doubt the submission of this recipe would grant your MIL sudden awe-inspiring power among her church choir peers. i doubt the recipe book would even list a credit to her. but if they did list credits, why not just ask for it to be credited to your mom? ..... so you can find out a week later that your "family" recipe is actually the one from the back of the box. |
Anonymous
this is psychotic. again i ask - WHY is it so awful for a person to share a recipe? are you all so self-centered and delusional to think that your hypothetical thunder and sentimental value would be diluted by sharing it? |
Anonymous
I agree with this. |
Anonymous
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Why all the drama, folks? It is a recipe. Put things into perspective, please. Just give MIL the recipe, let her get her kicks, if your aren't really invested in the recipe (as you state), then who gives a hoot?!?
I find this whole discussion kind of strange, but couldn't resist... |