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Sharing my recipe - am I being weird about this?
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Anonymous
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I need some perspective on this, and I know I will get honest answers here!
I have a recipe for a thing that I like to make - it's not a family recipe per se, but it was my mother's recipe and she makes it as well. I bring it to potlucks, etc. and it always is very popular. It's a little unusual, but nothing crazy. My MIL has had it a few times at my house or when I've brought it places, and while she's said that she likes it she has never expressed any interest in getting the recipe. Until this weekend, when she said she wanted it so she could submit it to her church for their cookbook. I really don't want my recipe in the church cookbook. It's not like it's a secret that I would never share - I would be fine with giving it to my MIL for her own use - but I'm not a fan of it going in the cookbook and it rubs me the wrong way that she only wants it to put it in there. The cookbook is some benefit for their choir, and she's not even in the choir. So what say you? Am I being oversensitive about this? Or do I have a right to be a little peeved? And would it be weird to tell her that I don't want it in the cookbook? |
Anonymous
| Yes you are! |
Anonymous
| You are being weird. It's a recipe, jeez. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like this is more about your relationship with your MIL than your recipe appearing in a cookbook. |
Anonymous
| I totally get you, and I would politely decline with a lot of fake apologies. |
Anonymous
| Just be honest. Say "Gosh, Linda, I'm flattered! I feel weird and selfish about it, but I kind of want to keep this one just in the family. Do you think that's awful?" Be mildly contrite, but stand your ground. Everyone has their little quirks, and if Mom's marshmallow-carrot salad is yours, I expect any normal MIL would respect that. You should definitely NOT be peeved that she asked. Just as she shouldn't be offended when you say no. |
Anonymous
| I personally don't think you're being overly sensitive. I'd just tell her that you'd prefer not to share the family recipe for [x] but have a wonderful recipe for [y] that you're more then happy to contribute for her church cookbook. |
Anonymous
give her the recipe, but tweak it a little (e.g. double the marshmallows, halve the tobasco) so it isn't quite "your" recipe. |
Anonymous
| I completely understand you not wanting her to submit your recipe. What she wants to do is almost like putting your byline on something you didn't write or signing someone else's artwork. |
Anonymous
Totally agree. It is one thing if she wanted to make it for a dinner party--of course you should share it. It is another for her to submit it as her own recipe. So I am with you on this, OP. |
Anonymous
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I am 10:52 and am a little surprised by these responses. I would be so flattered and would give it to her without thinking! You must have other problems with your MIL.
Does your MIL cook? Maybe she has nothing else to submit? |
Anonymous
| Not sure which 10:52 you are, but I really don't have problems with my MIL. We're not super close, but we get along very well. Like I said, I would be happy to give the recipe to her for her to make - it's just her asking for it just to submit to the church cookbook that has my feathers ruffled. I wouldn't submit it to a cookbook myself and it feels weird to me to have her publicize it when I wouldn't, plus the other factor that others have hit on that it's also a little weird to me to have her submit it as hers when she has never made it. She does cook - it seems to me that she would have plenty of things of her own that she could submit. |
Anonymous
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It's not like she has to contribute something to the cookbook. She can help sell the cookbooks if she doesn't have anything of her own to submit.
My mother is very sharing and when someone asked her for one of her recipes she obliged, only to have this woman bring my mother's signature dish to the very next potluck they were both attending! People need to have something that is their special food contribution at gatherings and you never know when you'll run into your own dish when you share it. |
Anonymous
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"It's not like she has to contribute something to the cookbook. She can help sell the cookbooks if she doesn't have anything of her own to submit."
YES! Agreed. It's about the recipe, for those who don't understand. |
Anonymous
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I tend to think that recipes should be shared. You will likely never meet the people who will cook this recipe, and other families can enjoy it. I guess I just don't understand why anyone would not want to share a recipe...good food should be shared and enjoyed by all!
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