Accepted ED but ex refuses to help pay

[Anonymous]

With all due respect, $240,000 for a bachelor's degree is a huge waste of money. Kind of a moot point unless your ex is a millionaire.

Find a school with an actual return on investment.

[Anonymous]

OP. It feels like you were hoping people would tell you how. To be the system— whether “the system” is need based aid or ED Rules. Which is gross.

I had a parent I couldn’t count on to pay for college. So, I didn’t. I went with the instate my mom had save plus merit aid. It sucks for your kid, but. It’s. Something that should have been addressed last spring as you college list.

[Anonymous]

did DD/you apply ED without talking to Ex? Heck, if that's the case, I wouldn't pay it either.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone read the ED contract? Parent has to sign off, counselor signs off. This isn’t the first question like this and I just want to say it’s made VERY clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD accepted ED to Cornell. My ex refuses to pay for DD college. What are my options besides her taking out loans?

Go back to family court and reopen your divorce settlement to address this issue. In the meantime, take the loans.

[Anonymous]

OP, most college financial aid offices and admissions offices have heard and seen it ALL. You and your DD should contact Cornell FA and admissions right away. You didn't mention (that I saw) what the FA situation for her is at Cornell with the ED admittance. Was the ex's anticipated contribution what you listed on FA forms?? If so, that needs to be radically revamped immediately. Call the FA office and admissions.

Despite all the "it's not worth X dollars!" PPs above, who only see dollar signs, we cannot know if your child chose Cornell for a specific major or program she can't just duplicate easily at Big Cheap State School X. People here often assume everyone will be fine and dandy going to that huge state school, and people do not understand that even as freshmen, some students are going directly into specific academic programs not necessarily available elsewhere.

What your ex had or hadn't agreed to before this acceptance is important. Did ex specifically say no money for college at all, ever, or was this really about "No money for Cornell/out of state/private/anywhere that I do not deem a good 'return on investment'?" Either way your ex is a Grade A jerk for not contributing, but if the issue is the specific choice of college(s) and not college money per se--is there someone in the family whom you trust to impress on the ex that this program at this college is the best one for DD? Of course, ex could, as someone already noted, help pay one semester's costs, then bail.

I'm rooting for you and your DD on this one, OP. If she has to give up Cornell, please try to help her be positive and seek out great opportunities wherever she goes. Being resentful and angry at her other parent, while 100 percent justified in my view, won't help her embrace and enjoy her education at a different college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With all due respect, $240,000 for a bachelor's degree is a huge waste of money. Kind of a moot point unless your ex is a millionaire.

Find a school with an actual return on investment.

This is a joke right? People on this forum easily spend 320,000 on each kids undergrad!

[Anonymous]

Since Cornell is a private school, their financial aid forms would have asked about the finances of BOTH parents. Did you complete those forms? Did you ask your ex for his financials?

[Anonymous]

take out loans it is worth it congratulations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, most college financial aid offices and admissions offices have heard and seen it ALL. You and your DD should contact Cornell FA and admissions right away. You didn't mention (that I saw) what the FA situation for her is at Cornell with the ED admittance. Was the ex's anticipated contribution what you listed on FA forms?? If so, that needs to be radically revamped immediately. Call the FA office and admissions.

Despite all the "it's not worth X dollars!" PPs above, who only see dollar signs, we cannot know if your child chose Cornell for a specific major or program she can't just duplicate easily at Big Cheap State School X. People here often assume everyone will be fine and dandy going to that huge state school, and people do not understand that even as freshmen, some students are going directly into specific academic programs not necessarily available elsewhere.

What your ex had or hadn't agreed to before this acceptance is important. Did ex specifically say no money for college at all, ever, or was this really about "No money for Cornell/out of state/private/anywhere that I do not deem a good 'return on investment'?" Either way your ex is a Grade A jerk for not contributing, but if the issue is the specific choice of college(s) and not college money per se--is there someone in the family whom you trust to impress on the ex that this program at this college is the best one for DD? Of course, ex could, as someone already noted, help pay one semester's costs, then bail.

I'm rooting for you and your DD on this one, OP. If she has to give up Cornell, please try to help her be positive and seek out great opportunities wherever she goes. Being resentful and angry at her other parent, while 100 percent justified in my view, won't help her embrace and enjoy her education at a different college.

ITA with this advice. Please call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all due respect, $240,000 for a bachelor's degree is a huge waste of money. Kind of a moot point unless your ex is a millionaire.

Find a school with an actual return on investment.

This is a joke right? People on this forum easily spend 320,000 on each kids undergrad!

Not with parent loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since Cornell is a private school, their financial aid forms would have asked about the finances of BOTH parents. Did you complete those forms? Did you ask your ex for his financials?

DP. Even if he provided the forms, that doesn't obligate him to pay. Neither parent is obligated to pay even if they provide the requested financial information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people have loans.

Most loans are parent plus.

I told my kid I wouldn’t sign parent plus loans for UCLA because she could not demonstrate how it was $150,000 superior to UVA.

Why would I take on that obligation heading into my retirement years?

[Anonymous]

My parents didn’t pay for college but luckily I qualified for federal financial aid in the form of grants and loans. For the Expected Family Contribution portion, I had to take out private loans, I used Sallie Mae. I didn’t have credit history at that point but the private loans were in my name. My brother was able to convince my mom to take out a Parent Plus loan for his EFC portion but it’s still a headache for both of them since he can’t consolidate those and it’s on my mom’s credit (she remarried and her husband wasn’t thrilled since it impacted borrowing potential). Contact the Financial Aid office and meet with them to discuss options - will most likely be private and public loans. But please explain to your kid exactly what it means taking out $. Look at potential income after graduating and monthly loan amounts. Mine are $800 a month and it’s debilitating in the beginning of a career. I paid off private by the time I graduated so I could defer and pay based on income, but it’s still hampered my ability to invest and save. I also had to turn down really good opportunities during school and after because of the debt (eg awesome internship that would have made my career in favor of a shitty job which paid more). But before taking out a ton of loans, consider affordable options like state school, community college, less prestigious school which offers scholarships or even schools abroad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people have loans.

Most loans are parent plus.

I told my kid I wouldn’t sign parent plus loans for UCLA because she could not demonstrate how it was $150,000 superior to UVA.

Why would I take on that obligation heading into my retirement years?

that's fair