What's worse -- no "optional" essay or a bad "optional" essay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for Peet’s sake. Do what every other DCUM parent does but doesn’t have the guts to admit. Help the kid with the essay, edit it, and send it in for her.

I don’t get this. I see how parents could decide to fix grammar or improve the structure but I don’t see how parents can really improve the actual content and answer these personal prompts.

The schools say they can tell when a parent writes an essay. I really hope this is true. Certainly it varies from school to school, but I'd love to know how competitive schools weigh a perfect essay that seems highly edited compared to a heartfelt, moving, clearly 100% student produced essay containing spelling, grammar and some structural issues.

[Anonymous]

One admissions officer during an essay info session made fun of how one student put “loin king” in her essay about staging a production of The Lion King. Her point was you can’t rely on spell check but it sounded pretty mean when she described how she passed it around to everyone in the admissions office and how they still laugh about it. (The kid was not accepted.)

[Anonymous]

Can you have another person read it and give her feedback? An uncle? Neighbor/editor/friend/former teacher? Hearing feedback from a honest third party might be really helpful for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't believe how many of you have not taught kids that their decisions have consequences. And that they will have to live with those consequences (be it an HIV infection, drunk driving crash, etc). In a matter of months they will be on their own.

You are DEFINITELY not serving them well.

I know you mean well, but this is not a good way to parent.

Of course they taught their kids that decisions have consequences. Unfortunately, they are still kids and really don't get it yet. Even really smart kids can be idiots sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't believe how many of you have not taught kids that their decisions have consequences. And that they will have to live with those consequences (be it an HIV infection, drunk driving crash, etc). In a matter of months they will be on their own.

You are DEFINITELY not serving them well.

I know you mean well, but this is not a good way to parent.

This is OP. I hear ya but one big issue is that my DD thinks it’s a good essay. When I am baffled by how she could think something she wrote so quickly could be good enough, I realize her high school has not served her well in terms of writing quality. Not to take the blame off of her but she has always been a responsible, good student but I’m now questioning the rigor of her classes.

Cajoling and bribing go against every fiber of my being but I think the stakes may be worth it. (Though I don’t know what to bribe her with.) I’ve already tried to persuade her by emphasizing how if she only gets into one or two of her last choice schools she will wish she worked harder on this essay. Her response was, “There’s nothing wrong with it.” I hate to be harsh but it reads like it was dashed off by a middle schooler — though at least it’s not offensive and the grammar is correct.

Oh mine too. They seemed so…juvenile. Revise it and submit.

Our DC would not change a word based on our advise. Unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a first year college student here.

Last year at this time, my kid was so burned out; by the time she was on her last college application, her essay was pretty weak. She also thought it was good, but IMO she had missed the point of the question.

We went round and round but she was "done," psychologically. It was a safety school for her, but due to the uncertainty of how covid was affecting admissions, I was really nervous.

I ended up negotiating with her to allow me to edit it. And I sent it in.

I'm sick of sanctimonious parents going on about how our kids should do it all themselves, as if this is some life lesson. Maybe their kid is amazing, and/or maybe their kid is applying to ONE college (like, CA students applying only to the UC system).

But IMO the "usual" college application process is in a nuclear-arms-race and our kids are caught in the middle. It's complete BS to think that all kids can do this *well* all on their own while dealing with a full courseload. The lesson should not be "do it all yourselves, even though the "game" is BS." The lesson should be, "do your best and find help if you need it"

So… cheating other, potentially more academically prepared kids, out of a spot because you perceive admissions to be a “nuclear arms race” is OK in your book? Why not just cut out the middle man and bribe the admissions committee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a first year college student here.

Last year at this time, my kid was so burned out; by the time she was on her last college application, her essay was pretty weak. She also thought it was good, but IMO she had missed the point of the question.

We went round and round but she was "done," psychologically. It was a safety school for her, but due to the uncertainty of how covid was affecting admissions, I was really nervous.

I ended up negotiating with her to allow me to edit it. And I sent it in.

I'm sick of sanctimonious parents going on about how our kids should do it all themselves, as if this is some life lesson. Maybe their kid is amazing, and/or maybe their kid is applying to ONE college (like, CA students applying only to the UC system).

But IMO the "usual" college application process is in a nuclear-arms-race and our kids are caught in the middle. It's complete BS to think that all kids can do this *well* all on their own while dealing with a full courseload. The lesson should not be "do it all yourselves, even though the "game" is BS." The lesson should be, "do your best and find help if you need it"

So… cheating other, potentially more academically prepared kids, out of a spot because you perceive admissions to be a “nuclear arms race” is OK in your book? Why not just cut out the middle man and bribe the admissions committee?

+100
I sincerely hope adcoms can tell when a parent has taken over an essay. I can't even believe some of these posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Revise it and don’t give it a second thought. Everyone else is doing this.

My SIL is a freelance editor in another country. This year, she took an assignment from another colleague and it turned out to be writing essays for US college applications and just creating content out of thin air. It started off as being an editor and ended up being a ghost writer/content generator. What a laugh. She is so disgusted that she has vowed never to do this again. She felt dirty and was shocked by the extent of cheating prevalent in US.

She asked me if I wanted her to look over my Senior's PE. My DC had already showed it to his English teacher and a counselor and they had said it was ready for submission so I did not take her on her offer. After the EA/ED round, I sent it so that she can comment on it and she found 3 grammatical errors.

[Anonymous]

Kids are lying outright on their applications. Loads of essays being written by writers in another countries. Lots of fake content being generated. Till date most kids had the hurdle of SATs also. Now even that has been removed. What is the point of having an admissions process? Just take everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One admissions officer during an essay info session made fun of how one student put “loin king” in her essay about staging a production of The Lion King. Her point was you can’t rely on spell check but it sounded pretty mean when she described how she passed it around to everyone in the admissions office and how they still laugh about it. (The kid was not accepted.)

At an admissions event a couple of months ago, the Michigan rep made a similar joke about a kid who had a spellcheck error. I was pretty disgusted. An adult telling a room full of kids jumping through hoops to get in to this school and an adult basically saying that the admissions committee will laugh at them if they make one mistake. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Parent of college sophomore here. My son applied to JMU (he is in-state) and it was probably a target school for him based on his stats. He flat out refused to do the optional but highly encouraged personal statement. He was waitlisted and never got off the wait list. I’m convinced he could have been accepted if he had submitted a halfway decent essay. In his case he didn’t want to go there so he couldn’t be bothered to write it. If your daughter is interested in the school think she should definitely submit the essay and it should be revised if possible.

[Anonymous]

OP.

1) you should not write your kid's essay
2) Understand, there are hundreds if not thousands of kids who are taking the time to write a good essay.

Actions have consequences. If your kid doesn't want to do it, and they don't get in, then so be it. If they want to submit the crappy essay, let them. At least they will know a parent probably didn't write it.

[Anonymous]

Op, submitting a bad essay or not submitting at all, I think both options are equally bad. I would bribe and nag DC to improve it. There is still time. What is the prompt?

[Anonymous]

Agree it feels like the kids are hitting the wall. They’ve already written close to 30 short essays along with the big personal statement, and they are just dragging with finishing up the last couple. If it’s any consolation to the OP, it’s a struggle in our house as well. Lots of encouraging to make the last push now to finish up all the essays before ED/REA decisions come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Revise it and don’t give it a second thought. Everyone else is doing this.

This is so true! And hiring people to "help" kids write their essays. Nina Marks, outside college counselor has TWO full-time people on staff that do this.