What to do if you suspect your husband is cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

Not unless he agrees to it, he isn't. You can stomp and spit til the cows come home, but, you actually can't force him. Save yourself a lot of trouble and just rent a truck, take your stuff and let him know after you are gone.

[Anonymous]

Where does he work? I'll follow him for you for free. No PI needed.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for some good ideas. I talked this through with a friend tonight and I think her read on this is that pandemic is over and real life crazy/hectic schedules are back, so maybe it’s just that I was used to a lot of attention for the last 18 months and now I missing that? I don’t know. Otherwise marriage seems fine — he’s a great dad and very much an equal partner. Maybe I’ll get one of those trackers for peace of mind. I’m very much a realist and know that this can happen and certainly would want to know, but I’m not going to blow up my family if this isn’t what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for some good ideas. I talked this through with a friend tonight and I think her read on this is that pandemic is over and real life crazy/hectic schedules are back, so maybe it’s just that I was used to a lot of attention for the last 18 months and now I missing that? I don’t know. Otherwise marriage seems fine — he’s a great dad and very much an equal partner. Maybe I’ll get one of those trackers for peace of mind. I’m very much a realist and know that this can happen and certainly would want to know, but I’m not going to blow up my family if this isn’t what is going on.

Yeah. That’s what I thought too. Trust your gut. It’s never wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for some good ideas. I talked this through with a friend tonight and I think her read on this is that pandemic is over and real life crazy/hectic schedules are back, so maybe it’s just that I was used to a lot of attention for the last 18 months and now I missing that? I don’t know. Otherwise marriage seems fine — he’s a great dad and very much an equal partner. Maybe I’ll get one of those trackers for peace of mind. I’m very much a realist and know that this can happen and certainly would want to know, but I’m not going to blow up my family if this isn’t what is going on.

Pandemic is over? Says who? My brother-in-law just died from COVID and his wife is SCO with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

You would leave before you would just...ask?

If I was that unhappy, the answer wouldn't matter

So if your happy but suspect cheating you would stay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

Not unless he agrees to it, he isn't. You can stomp and spit til the cows come home, but, you actually can't force him. Save yourself a lot of trouble and just rent a truck, take your stuff and let him know after you are gone.

You can if he is cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

You would leave before you would just...ask?

If I was that unhappy, the answer wouldn't matter

So if your happy but suspect cheating you would stay?

If I was happy, I wouldn't be suspicious, would I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

Good luck with that. You can’t just kick someone out of the house they own. You can negotiate keeping the house in your divorce (assuming you can refinance on your own).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

Not unless he agrees to it, he isn't. You can stomp and spit til the cows come home, but, you actually can't force him. Save yourself a lot of trouble and just rent a truck, take your stuff and let him know after you are gone.

You can if he is cheating.

No, you can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

You would leave before you would just...ask?

If I was that unhappy, the answer wouldn't matter

So if your happy but suspect cheating you would stay?

If I was happy, I wouldn't be suspicious, would I?

Yes. You can be very happy and notice odd behavior and suspect cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust him, I'll just leave. I'm not going to make myself miserable and paranoid, it just isn't worth it.

Sure. And will you pull the kids out of school? How are you going to manage that? Just tell them to pack some toys and a backpack and get in the car?

Why would I take the kids out of school? That seems lile a lot of drama. I can rent a place and move without doing that. I'm perfectly capable of handling my business without traumatizing anyone.

Hi kids- we are moving into an apartment. F that- his cheating ass (or hers if it applies) can leave the house.

Yeah I’m not leaving with my kids if spouse cheats. Cheater can get the F out.

Not unless he agrees to it, he isn't. You can stomp and spit til the cows come home, but, you actually can't force him. Save yourself a lot of trouble and just rent a truck, take your stuff and let him know after you are gone.

You can if he is cheating.

No, you can’t.

In MD you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for some good ideas. I talked this through with a friend tonight and I think her read on this is that pandemic is over and real life crazy/hectic schedules are back, so maybe it’s just that I was used to a lot of attention for the last 18 months and now I missing that? I don’t know. Otherwise marriage seems fine — he’s a great dad and very much an equal partner. Maybe I’ll get one of those trackers for peace of mind. I’m very much a realist and know that this can happen and certainly would want to know, but I’m not going to blow up my family if this isn’t what is going on.

If my spouse put a tracker on me, I would get a divorce. Hell, no. Woman here. You are nuts.