2 year old refuses to get dressed in the mornjng

[Anonymous]

Is this the hill you want to die on?

Can you put them in clothes for the day the night before?

Why is this power struggle important to you?

You can totally physically force your child to change clothes. But why do you want to?

Me, I’d save that energy for teeth brushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

Some things are universal truths. We are bigger and stronger so put the clothes on and he’ll will stop fighting it when he realizes he can do it or you can, but the clothes are going to be put on. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

You would be incredibly surprised at how many parents try to persuade and cajole their child to get dressed instead of simply getting them dressed.
If OP cannot manage to get her small toddler dressed without an hour of meltdowns and tantrums every day then she should be speaking to her ped and asking this in the special needs forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the hill you want to die on?

Can you put them in clothes for the day the night before?

Why is this power struggle important to you?

You can totally physically force your child to change clothes. But why do you want to?

Me, I’d save that energy for teeth brushing.

+1

[Anonymous]

If this is an older 2 year old, I'd put them in the car as-is. They are old enough to realize they don't want to go to school like that. I've done this with 2 out of my 3 kids who just refused to dress, and this has worked each time. I'm not mean about it or anything - just matter of fact - ok, you do not want to get dressed. We do not have more time, so we need to go to school now. PIck up the child, put in carseat, go to school. You do not have to engage in back and forth battles with your kid. Draw and line and enforce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

Some things are universal truths. We are bigger and stronger so put the clothes on and he’ll will stop fighting it when he realizes he can do it or you can, but the clothes are going to be put on. End of story.

Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

Some things are universal truths. We are bigger and stronger so put the clothes on and he’ll will stop fighting it when he realizes he can do it or you can, but the clothes are going to be put on. End of story.

Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

NP- wow, this is just crazy. Yes, you as the parent have to wrestle your willful child to do something that is imperative for their health/safety/wellbeing. Wearing clean clothes is one of those things, as is brushing teeth, taking antibiotics, sitting in their carseat. Good Lord, I shudder to think of what flies in your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

Some things are universal truths. We are bigger and stronger so put the clothes on and he’ll will stop fighting it when he realizes he can do it or you can, but the clothes are going to be put on. End of story.

Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

I would argue the person who lets their kid do whatever they want because they're afraid of being the bad guy is the crappy parent but you do you I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

NP- wow, this is just crazy. Yes, you as the parent have to wrestle your willful child to do something that is imperative for their health/safety/wellbeing. Wearing clean clothes is one of those things, as is brushing teeth, taking antibiotics, sitting in their carseat. Good Lord, I shudder to think of what flies in your house.

+1 I don't get it - what do you do when they have a dirty diaper they don't want to change, or they won't get in the car seat? You just have to force them to do it. I think if you just do it calmly and don't make it into a game and just show them there's no point in struggling, it stops becoming such a big deal. The wife and husband example is not applicable because you are both adults. A child is a child and you have to take care of them.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the "taking an hour." I agree with others - I would just send her out in her pajamas. I think the first time the daycare teacher looks at her disapprovingly because she's in her pajamas, and all the other kids are in clothes, that will help.

Or just put on a two minute video while you change their clothes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. You take clothes out of the drawer and put them on. My two year old doesn't get a say in getting dressed. Are you expecting your two year old to dress themselves?

+1

Listen, I get it. If you have a 2 year old who just allows themselves to be dressed, this probably sounds really foreign to you. But some kids fight it. Hard. Mine started when she was even younger, basically as soon as she had the verbal skills to argue with me about it. "I don't want to wear that, I don't want to get dressed, I don't like clothes, I don't like that color" etc.

And guess what? One of the best ways to address it turned out to let her get dressed on her own. I'd put out a few options, tell her she had five minutes, and leave the room. Sometimes she'd make me stay but not let me help. Sometimes she'd ask for help. But literally the only way to get her in clothes was to let her take control. Plus side: she developed the ability to physically dress and undress herself really early, which helps with potty training and lots of preschool activities where they are expected to be independent in those areas.

The funny thing is that she's 4 now and I pick out her clothes again. It happened gradually, but I could see it was stressing her out to have to choose and I started removing more and more choice from the process. Now I go in the her room while she eats breakfast and pick out a whole outfit including socks and underwear, she doesn't choose any of it. She does put it on herself, though.

Kids are weird and they develop different things at different times. You just have a different kind of kid.

I'm the original PP. My two year old absolutely does not allow herself to get dressed, it's a huge battle. She screams and runs and it's a headache. But I'm the parent, and I'm bigger than her, and I get her dressed. I really just don't understand the mechanics of an hour long struggle here. Pick out clothes, put them on.

Some kids rip the clothes off the minute you get them on. Some throw epic tantrums that will take an hour to recover from if you try to force the clothes onto them. Sure, lots of kids resist getting dressed. But some kids REALLY resist it. If it's taking an hour, this is why. OP obviously understands the mechanics of dressing her child, who I am sure she has dressed from infancy. The issue is that this becomes a major battleground for some kids and they don't acquiesce to the usual methods for getting through it. Your child was different than my child, and from OP's child.

If you don't understand something, often it's because you lack the necessary experience or information to understand it. It's not "well you must be an idiot." Trust me, you will run into challenges with your kid at some point and someone will say to you "I don't understand, I never have this problem," and then you'll get it. Not all parenting experiences are universal. Kids are different, families are different.

Some things are universal truths. We are bigger and stronger so put the clothes on and he’ll will stop fighting it when he realizes he can do it or you can, but the clothes are going to be put on. End of story.

Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

I would argue the person who lets their kid do whatever they want because they're afraid of being the bad guy is the crappy parent but you do you I guess.

Working with your 2 year old so that they develop the skill to select and put on clothes on their own, instead of simply pinning them down and shoving their bodies into clothes, is not "letting your kid do whatever they want."

The fact that you think the only two options are brute force or doing nothing indicates that you do not have a ton of parenting skills and does not bode well for the future. It sucks having to figure out how to get a 2 year old to agree to getting dressed. Like it's the absolute pits and requires lots of creativity, patience, communication skills, and flexibility. But in the end, it is better than physically forcing them because they learn some skills and gain some independence, plus it forces you to find ways to work with them and helps to refine your parenting. Yes, it would be faster to just force them into clothes, and now and again you really don't have a choice and that's what you do. But if that's what you do every morning, there will come a day when it doesn't work anymore. And then what?

Some people just get to "and then what?" sooner because they have particularly independent-minded kids.

[Anonymous]

My just 2 year old has started resisting it hard! It sucks. That said, I don’t understand the people saying to let them stay in their PJs all day. Absolutely not. I am not having him get yogurt and whatever else all over his PJs. He doesn’t get to eat in his PJs, that is my firm rule. Also not to mention some days he soaks out his overnight diaper and wakes up with wet Pjs. Maybe I should just let him stay in those all day too? Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be hard to dress a flailing kid.

It can. But I'm skeptical that it has to take an hour. OP ask yourself, is that how you want to be spending that hour with your child every morning? There must be a way to get the task done in a gentle but firm way so that you don't drag out the torture. After enough minutes in, your 2 year old will hardly remember what they were fighting, or why - all they will remember is the conflict. OP can you tell us more details about what is happening during the hour? We can help if you give some more info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Uh, no, beginning of story.

Universal truth: just because I'm physically bigger and stronger than my child does not mean I should physically wrestle them into clothes against their will every day.

I mean, my DH is bigger and stronger than I am -- if he wants me to do something that I don't want to do, does he get to physically force me to do it?

You think you've figured something out but you're actually just a crappy parent.

NP- wow, this is just crazy. Yes, you as the parent have to wrestle your willful child to do something that is imperative for their health/safety/wellbeing. Wearing clean clothes is one of those things, as is brushing teeth, taking antibiotics, sitting in their carseat. Good Lord, I shudder to think of what flies in your house.

+1 I don't get it - what do you do when they have a dirty diaper they don't want to change, or they won't get in the car seat? You just have to force them to do it. I think if you just do it calmly and don't make it into a game and just show them there's no point in struggling, it stops becoming such a big deal. The wife and husband example is not applicable because you are both adults. A child is a child and you have to take care of them.

You have to convince them to do it. Listen, if you had a relatively compliant child you may never have had to go through this. Some of us did not have one of those kids. I had to learn how to convince my child to get dressed, to brush her teeth or let me brush them, to take medicine, to get in the car seat. Yes, convince. And I did, and she got dressed every day and we made it to school on time and everything. And she is a fully functional and still very independent minded kid now, who dresses herself and brushes her teeth and has good sleep habits and does homework and plays independently and all that good stuff. She was not a child who you could just physically dress against her will, that was not an option for me as a parent unless I wanted to break her arms or have my household devolved into a full blown war zone every morning. You could not force her to do anything -- eat, get dressed, listen, nothing. Everything was a conversation, and still is. She's going to make a phenomenal litigator or hostage negotiator or talent wrangler or whatever someday.

Kid #2? Would allow us to dress him rag doll style while he ate breakfast, didn't care what he wore. Was never an issue.

This is what happens when you assume your experience with one or two of your own children is universal and that what you did will magically work on all children because you are some kind of parenting savant. You literally have no idea what you are talking about. I'm glad you figured out how to work with your kids, and that physically forcing them to get dressed worked okay for you. Good. That doesn't work for all kids.