Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
Black, presidential, attend Sidwell, heavily guarded, and so sad that their African safari plans were cancelled. Malia will grow up to write a scorching memoir and move to Europe where she will marry a Swede and raise beautiful bi-racial babies. Sasha will marry a celebrity sports figure, become a spokeswoman for Spanx, and live in Hawaii. You chose their names with great deliberation and wanted them to be simple, yet exotic and with a sturdy base. |
Anonymous
You are currently pregnant with little Archie. It started out as a joking tribute to your Great Uncle Archie with his shiny bald spot, but it's actually grown on you and it might end up being his actual name. You have a quirky sense of humor and recently hosted a party to celebrate the return of Arrested Development. It was a very well attended shin-dig and you are already planning to do an Alf themed party later this year. You are planning to decorate Little Archie's nursery with retro He-Man decals that you found on Etsy. You always wanted He-Man figurines when you were a kid, but your mom refused to do that and pushed you grow your My Little Pony collection. So far you have been able to avoid wearing traditional maternity clothes, but that probably won't be possible for much longer, especially with your sister-in-law's upcoming wedding. What will you wear? Seriously, the options for formal maternity wear are just disgusting. Maybe you can find someone on Etsy to sew something for you. Your wife is thrilled about Archie's impending arrival and she has been a researching maniac, insisting that all of the gear be super safe...car seat built like a tank, impenetrable crib, etc. She's starting to drive you a little crazy with her obsessive desire to baby proof everything months before your due date so you can both be well adjusted and prepared. She's never really spend much time around babies, but you on the other hand were the most popular babysitter in your old neighborhood so you aren't really that stressed about having a newborn. Your mom is already planning to come and stay with you for several weeks post-delivery and that will be a huge help, unless she and your wife start to bicker like they did during last Christmas. Your three cats will have a rough time when Archie arrives, but they will soon adapt. Archie will grow up to be a fun-loving kid with a cool bug collection, great letter-writing skills, and spiky hair. |
Anonymous
| Eric |
Anonymous
Are you Filipino? |
Anonymous
OMG Michelle is that you? I didn't know the First Lady went on DCUM!! |
Anonymous
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Gregory (nn Gregor)
Madeleine Isabelle |
Anonymous
| Brian, Katherine, Kyra. |
Anonymous
You are an Israeli-American couple who move back and forth between the two countries in an attempt to placate your families and expose your children to both cultures/languages. Talia is strong, attractive, and moody now that she is past the awkward middle school stage and well into the high school years. She loves writing and has aspirations of being published before she graduates. Alex is a brute to reckoned with. He occasionally bullies smaller children, but most of his brute force is saved for the soccer field and he is quite a skilled player. Underneath his tough appearance, there is actually a very sweet boy who still loves to twirl your hair during nightly reading sessions. Even after all these years together, you and your husband still have quite a passionate relationship. Great sex, occasionally loud fighting matches, but generally very good together. You met while working on a kibbutz and never really thought it was a relationship that would last beyond a few months. You are pleasantly surprised to still be happy together. One of the reasons you love your husband so much are his effusive compliments. Even when a dinner isn't all that special, he is so appreciative that it never fails to make to you smile. You know this is a rare quality since all of your friends spend so much time complaining about how ungrateful and unaware their husbands are. Now the kids are more independent, you have gone back to working part time at the knitting store where you were spending most of your free time anyway. You like the camaraderie and being surrounded by all of those dizzying colors and textures. And your knitting has really improved to the point that you are now teaching a few classes, which also makes you feel good about yourself. You wish your husband was as satisfied with his career, but he's not and that's not likely to change any time soon. In addition to knitting, you also love cooking and you feverishly study your Cook's Illustrateds as soon as they arrive in the mailbox. You are constantly seeking to improve upon your techniques and your recipes...although your neighbors and friends constantly rave about your dishes, especially that Moroccan chicken and your flourless chocolate cake. Your house is a comfortable and welcoming abode. Nothing fancy or ostentatious, just practical and easy to maintain. You clean itself even though you could afford to hire a maid and you relish the feeling of climbing into a made with freshly washed sheets. You do weekly walks in Rock Creek Park and occasionally join in the ranger led bird walks. Your not a big birder, but you do enjoy the interesting mix of people and you always learn something new. That's one of your best qualities. You have a curious and open mind. |
Anonymous
You are an African-American family. You moved into a very white neighborhood and were a little nervous to find out you were the only POC, but everyone has been warm and welcoming, except for the one old lady in the middle of the block, though you've been assured she just hates kids. Two other black families have moved in since you did, but you're only friends with one of them. The other one ... neither you nor DH can pinpoint exactly what it is, but something about them feels off. Alexander tried to get "Xander" going, but it just didn't take, so he's made due with Alex. Talia sometimes calls him Ali when she needs her brother's help and he only minds if she does it in public because his friends claim it's a girl name. You were pre-med in college, majoring in biology. Your older sister got unexpectedly pregnant, asked you to support her through the birth, and from that experience, decided that although you had the perfect messy handwriting, were not cut out to be a doctor, which is how you wound up becoming a lawyer. Your husband works for a makeup company, and everyone always asks if he's really straight. You're so over the jokes. DH has to travel to Asia a lot for work, and Talia is OBSESSED with Japan and dying for him to take her with him. You and DH have sex twice a week, and you feel like it's the perfect amount, except when on vacation. You are on the partner track at work, and love what you do. You went through three secretaries in one year and got nervous they were leaving because of you, but it turned out to have nothing to do with you. The partner who gives you most of your work seems to be mentally ill and physically ill, which means not only is he always jumping up in the middle of meetings to run to the bathroom, but he also always announces it to whoever is in the meeting, clients and all. He will also stand in front of your desk talking to you about an assignment while digging in his ass. You wonder if he has worms, but also try to not think much about it because ew. |
Anonymous
You lead a fairly boring and conventional life and you like it that way. It is a direct contrast to the chaotic childhood you had in Boston as a the youngest of seven children. The chaos wasn't just the result of living in a crowded household, it also stemmed from your parents alcoholism. Sadly, you don't have a lot of happy childhood memories and you were bound and determined to provide something very different for your own children. Something stable, solid, and predictable, just like their traditional names. No weird spellings, no exotic roots, no explanations. Your husband was on board with all of this and in many ways he has proved to be a dependable and reliable father figure. You wish his work hours weren't so intense, but you make it work and the kids seem to be happy and thriving. John loves basketball and spends many hours shooting hoops in your driveway. Anne plays the piano and takes weekly ballet lessons. David is the ham of the family and has been the star in the past two class plays. You eat dinner together every night. You attend Mass every Sunday. The children all have assigned chores that they perform without major complaint and they do not receive allowances since that has always seemed odd to you. You spend one week a summer in the Outerbanks and you always host Easter at your house since it has the best yard for egg hunting. You have a cocker spaniel named Molly and cat named Nellie. You work hard to make this life work and it does, especially when you can end each day with a nice cup of hot cocoa and a good book. |
Anonymous
Brian was born when you were both in your mid-twenties. Everything seemed so simple and exciting with his early years. Yes, there were exhausting moments, but overall it really was an enjoyable time and you were ready and willing to have a second child soon after he turned four. It seemed like the right time, but this time around things were different. After several sad miscarriages, you put babymaking on hold and went back to school for a graduate degree in counseling. You thought that helping others would distract you from your own grief and yearnings, but it didn't and soon after completing your degree, you began visiting an infertility doctor which then led you on that crazy roller coaster ride of Clomid, IUI, and eventually IVF which resulted in your twins, Katherine and Kyra. Their pregnancy was a long and uneasy one and their premature arrival was equally unnerving. Eventually the girls made it home and you all got into an exhausting rhythm. Parenting twins has brought up all sorts of issues...no, you don't dress them identically and no, they aren't identical twins even though they do favor each other, and no, they don't have their own language (although you always hoped they would). Katherine has hit all of her developmental milestones right on target, but Kyra has some significant delays. Instead of working, you now spend your days shuttling her to specialists, attending IEP meetings at the local elementary school, volunteering in her classroom and spending your free moments chatting on yahoo groups and forums with other parents in a similar quest to help your daughter. Katherine and Brian understand your focus on Kyra is a necessary one, but they miss your attention and they love when your sister comes to visit because Aunt Shelly showers them with extra attention and extra spending money. Your husband has become increasingly distant and you attribute it to the strains of getting older and helping to parent twins, but secretly you worry that he may be having an affair. You don't have any proof, just a sad, nagging feeling. Currently, the most enjoyable relationship in your life is with a fellow mother you met through a local support group. You get together for coffee once a week, daily phone calls, and occasional movies. It's just nice to have someone who understands what it is like to juggle so many heavy things at once. You desperately want to be the best mother and wife that you can be, but you are really overwhelmed at times with Kyra's needs and sometimes you dream about just checking into a hotel room for one night alone with a tv and room service. Weeding is your therapy, your roses give you a lot of pride, and Andes mints are your favorites. You hope that your children will go up to be independent, happy, and healthy. |
Anonymous
| Xavier |
Anonymous
| Two kiddos- Chloe and Clara |
Anonymous
Eric is your grown son who still lives with you despite being thirty-three and being fully capable of living on his own. Your friends all think you are crazy for continuing to support him and his endless attempts to design a product that will be sold on QVC or at least get him on Shark Tank. But ever since your husband's unexpected death, fifteen years ago you have been gripped with fear about losing Eric, too. During his college years you made weekly trips to his dorm loaded down with meals packed into tupperware containers and a trunk full of freshly washed laundry. You just couldn't bear the thought of him letting him live on Ramen noodles or having to wait for a free washer in the basement of the dorm. After college, he moved home temporarily to search for a job and just never left. He does some minimal help around the house with much nagging and begging, but reassure yourself that having a man in the house is a good thing for security since your neighborhood seems to be getting a little rougher and darker around the edges. You head to the YMCA each day to swim laps or take a water aerobics class and you help your elderly neighbor with her weekly shopping trips. You adore your two cats, Minnie and Maude, and you excel at crossword puzzles. You wish Eric would find a nice girl, get a real job, settle down, and give you some grandbabies but are now starting to fear that will never happen. One day you will eventually get fed up with Eric and end up moving to Florida to live with your sister in a lovely retirement community. He will be shocked and feel abandoned. |
Anonymous
| That last one was depressing!!! |