Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
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I'll play:
Charlotte Abigail |
Anonymous
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Evangeline
Michael Gabriel |
Anonymous
Ever since your days as a history major at Sweetbriar, you have been planning to name a daughter Charlotte. It just always struck you as a classic name that never got enough attention (except from E.B. White's pen) and it suits your oldest daughter perfectly. She's a serious girl with a sharp wit and an observant nature that can sometimes prompt people to label her as shy or snobby, but she's actually neither of these things. Abigail is three years younger and currently immersed in a very girly stage which embarrasses and puzzles Charlotte since she never went through that. Abigail insists on only wearing pink or purple and only skirts or dresses (preferably those that have good spinning capacities) and never any pants or shorts. This summer Abigail is signed up for various arts and crafts day camps while Charlotte is doing a young writers camp, a naturalist camp, and astronomy camp. Your husband calls the girls Charlie and Abbie. You have never been a fan of nicknames but you find it endearing and love watching your husband with his girls. He really is a dedicated father, regularly making "dates" with each girl and allowing them to pick a special place for dinner. Your marriage has had some rocky moments and there was a brief separation when the girls were much younger, but lately things have been more solid. You can't really put your finger on what changed, but something has shifted. The current chaos in your life come from caring for your aging in-laws. Your father-in-law's dementia has really gotten worse, but your mother-in-law refuses to put him into a home and there have been some strange late night phone calls that have resulted in lots of tense conversations among your husband and his siblings. It makes you feel lucky to be an only child with parents who have already made plans for aging (the assisted living community where your aunt and uncle are currently living) and even their deaths. That was a weird Christmas present. Those decorative urns that they presented to you for their remains, but in retrospect it certainly makes things easier when the time comes. As a product of single-sex education, you never had any second thoughts about enrolling the girls at Stoneridge and you have all been happy with that decision, especially after Katie Ledecky's Olympic victory which brought even more prestige to the whole experience. Your husband was initially a little hesitant, but quickly came around and he enjoys helping out with various school events. Your move to Chevy Chase a few years ago was perfect timing because all of you have developed some strong friendships, including with a few neighborhood families whose girls also attend Stone Ridge (well, everyone is nice except for that little bitch who was spreading nasty rumors about Charlotte last year). You enjoy hosting casual get-togethers with fun themes (Cinqo De Mayo! with a taco bar, A White Trash Party! mac and cheese, fish sticks, beer tasting, and short shorts). Your friends think these parties are a little over the top and tacky, but they do enjoy your creativity. You make a yearly trip to NYC with two of your college friends for seeing a few shows and to do some serious shopping. Your favorite foods include your grandmother's peach cobbler (thank goodness your mom still had the recipe), anything with fresh basil, and vienna sauages (yes, you know they are disgusting, but you still crave and love them). You enjoy reading Jodi Picoult, Barbara Kingsolver, and memoirs written by women who have endured some horrible event or life changing experiences. You have an infectious (but not annoying) laugh and beautiful, thick hair which you get styled at Aveda on a regular basis. |
Anonymous
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John
Anne David |
Anonymous
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Finnian
Rhett |
Anonymous
| Kai |
Anonymous
Kai was conceived in Hawaii. Your DH and you took a private surfing lesson and when you and DH had sex that night you were picturing the surf instructor. You feel slightly guilty about this but since it was the first orgasm you ever had you don't care TOOOOO much. Kai hates his name and you once overheard him responding, "because my parents are retarded," to being asked why he was named Kai, and you skipped dinner and cried all night. You would like to get pregnant again and have a little girl, possibly named Kaitlyn, but A. you're having trouble getting pregnant (actually, DH is having trouble getting it up), and B. you don't want to be seen as some sort of Kardashian wannabe with children all having K-names. You bought yourself a fancy espresso machine on Kai's first birthday, to celebrate what a great mommy you are. You are pleased to have established the ritual of you getting a fancy present on your son's birthday. You volunteer at Kai's school a lot, and not-so-secrety look down on all SAHM's who don't. Kai pretends to hate when you're there, that you embarrass him, but you are confident that secretly he loves it, especially when you sit with him at his lunch table. He told you that next year, in middle school, they don't allow parents to volunteer in the classroom unless there's a field trip, but you have put in a call to the principal to find out their policy. DH is a computer .... something. To be honest, you don't know exactly what he does, and when people ask you just say "he's a computer geek." You encouraged DH to get into a sport, both for his health and so there'd be something the two of you could do together, but DH took up golf, and now spends every Sunday morning golfing with the guys. Sometimes he takes Kai, and you feel left out a lot. DH told you he'd always be home by noon, so you could sleep in, but often he's not home until 3pm or so and you miss your boys. You are thinking about getting a dog, and have sketched some ideas of the pictures of a dog you could post on Instagram. There would DEFINITELY be little outfits involved. Definitely. |
Anonymous
| Not Kai's mom, but ouch, 13:08. |
Anonymous
Artisan beef jerkey, bacon and beer festivals, and specialty doughnuts are your current culinary interests. You live in Petworth and are proud of it. You wear your Chacos all summer and attempt to raise heirloom tomatoes in large pots lining the sidewalk up to your front door. Your boys are wild and memorable with their long hair, their sweet smiles, and their wagon that they load up with stuffed animals which they attempt to sell to passing neighbors. Finnian was a name you just happened to come across in a random baby book at a friend's house, but Rhett was your very own brainchild and you are proud of it...a nod to your mother's distant southern heritage but really you just like the sound of it. Finn is six years old and thrilled to be going into first grade. He loves having a little brother to boss around and routinely comes up with "dares" that prove to be rather dangerous. Poor Rhett is fearless, covered in bruises, and will do anything he can to attain his brother's seal of approval. Rhett is a hard core thumb sucker and you don't plan to fight that battle anytime soon. The boys' father is a musician who floats in and out of your lives. He's on the road a lot and when he comes into town he will descend and be present for a few days, before floating over to other "friends". He never really divorced his first wife and they have two kids together, too, which sometimes bothers you and other times you are glad he's not around all of the time. You have multiple jobs and are proud of your ability to provide for your boys, although your parents do help out by occasionally sending large checks. They worry about you and wish you would move back home to Pittsburg. You love thrift shops and garage sales, especially those with cool, but smelly retro furniture. You have several on-going projects to renovate various pieces of salvaged furniture, but never quite getting around to finishing them. You love dancing with your kids, hula hooping, and listening to Bob Marley, The Weepies, and Dan Zanes. |
Anonymous
Hahahaha! I am Kai's mom and this is hilarious.... except Kai is a girl but DH is into computers and golf |
Anonymous
You are German and your husband is African American. You met when he was stationed in Germany and although you had never been interested in dating military guys before, his sexy eyes and dance moves were just too hard to resist. You never thought you would hear from him again after that first meeting in the dance club, but he called the next day and the rest was history. It turns out that he is thoughtful, attentive, and well educated in addition to being handsome. His career as a doctor in the military has meant that you have moved around quite a bit. You weren't really a fan of Texas or Georgia, but you were happy in Hawaii and that's where Kai was born. You are now pregnant again and eager to get through this DC summer heat. You are still discussing names and hoping to find something that will make both of your families happy. Both were a bit puzzled by the name, Kai, but they adore the little guy and it really is hard to ignore how striking he is with his caramel colored skin, dark hair, and light colored eyes. You fly home to Munich every summer and you speak German at home with Kai, but you worry that he won't really hold on to it. You enjoy baking, taking long walks every morning, and watching Real Housewives Atlanta. You hate Hershey's chocolate (how can they really call that waxy substance chocolate?), sunflowers, and L'Occitane products. |
Anonymous
Another funny one we are both AA by the way |
Anonymous
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Talia
Alexander |
Anonymous
| Archie. |
Anonymous
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Malia
Sasha |