Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
You were older when you had James and Ryan and although they are the joys of your life, they also wear you out on a daily basis. Both boys are super active, crazy climbers, and wrestling maniacs. You dread shopping trips, beach trips, and long road trips with them because of the inherent torture, BUT you love making silly pancakes for them, watching them play in the sprinkler, and the nightly routine of bed/bath/books. You are a devoted wife and mother....two things that you wanted desperately, but feared they would never happen. When you eventually met your husband at that librarian's conference you were completely caught off caught. Literally. His long legs really shouldn't have been jutting out into the aisle, but you both joke about it now: "head over heals", "swept off your feet", etc. Your husband's gentle demeanor and soothing voice help you get through the harried days of raising two rambunctious boys, but sometimes you wish he was just a tad bit more involved. You are envious of the young dads you see at the preschool who efficiently change diapers while texting. You are currently living in the little house you purchased in Silver Spring ten years ago when it was just you and your faithful cat, Evangeline. The house is now feeling a bit cramped and what started out as a simple house hunt has also turned into joint job hunts. When you visited your sister last summer in Ohio, you were shocked by how cheap houses were and quickly realized that if you sold your Silver Spring house you could easily afford a big house with the inviting front porch and porch swing that you have always wanted. Neither you, nor your husband have strong ties to the DC area and so there are lots of late night discussions on the possible virtues of Cleveland, Knoxville, Rochester, and even Sacramento. Your priorities are good schools, a strong sense of community, and close proximity to a decent sized airport so you can make regular trips to visit both sets of aging parents in Florida, but you would never actually consider living in Florida. You miss going to movies that don't have animation, being able to read to yourself on long flights, and sleeping late, but overall your life is good and you are happy. |
Anonymous
People assume that you are super religious and politically conservative because of your boys' names, but that isn't really the case. Yes, you go to church each week, but mostly because the boys enjoy Sunday School sessions and you enjoy the gossip. Your husband and his family are the more devout members of the family. All family gatherings start and end with a prayer. All foul language is strictly forbidden and alcohol is a no-no. It's a good thing you only see them a few times a month and also good that your husband has mellowed in the past few years. You have even been able to convince him that Louis C.K. is a very funny man and although he may be going to hell, you and your husband will not. Your lawn is always pristine, your boys only wear GAP clothing, and you keep up with your highlights, but your husband will never know that you voted for Obama. Twice. Your family has always been puzzled by your marriage. They always thought you would end up with a more macho guy, a Harley dude or a firefighter, but you are satisfied with your marriage and don't really see your family that often. Your in-laws and your church friends would be shocked if they knew about the tatoo on your left ass cheek, but your college friends love to remind you about that crazy, drunken night. You did a lot of crazy things before settling down and you worry that Noah will be headed down that path, too. Of the two boys, he is the outgoing, fearless risk taker who loves to make people laugh. You can already imagine him doing keg stands in the fraternity house, streaking a college campus, and calling you from jail. Gabriel is much more obedient, helpful, and an ardent rule-follower. After school hours are dedicated to Boy Scout meetings, prayer meetings, and one sport per season. Your husband is the leader for Gabriel's boy scout troop (all boys from church) and you are on the sunshine committee for the church, which means you make a lot of soup and lasagne for fellow church members who are ill or recently had a baby. |
Anonymous
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Sabine
Henry |
Anonymous
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Keira
John |
Anonymous
Henry= Pottery Barn Kids Sabine= kinda weird, wants to be an actress someday |
Anonymous
These are my kids, and this made me laugh! |
Anonymous
You met your husband while working at a summer camp in the western Virginia. He grew up in NOVA and spent his summers there since he was little, eventually becoming head of the waterfront. You were working there as a riding instructor via an exchange program for English university students. Twenty years later, you're living in Arlington and 9 year old John is off for his first summer at the very same camp! He's loving it - he's an easy going, sporty kid, much like your husband was as a kid. Kiera (13) would not be caught dead there; your husband doesn't quite know what to make of his bookish daughter. She's quiet and pensive, and spends a lot of time looking off into space and twirling her stringy blond hair. You're quick to defend her though, since you remember being a slightly awkward day-dreamer of a kid yourself. You haven't ridden horses in years and your husband definitely no longer has his swimmer's physique, but alas, such is middle age. You still have a bit of a tea addiction (shared my Kiera) but otherwise have acclimated to life in the USA well, and every Sunday night when you get off the phone with your aging mother and crazy sister, you're thankful for the ocean that separates you. |
Anonymous
Your love of all things French and your Louisiana roots, prompted you to study the French name list very closely. Sabine was an easy decision. You and your husband both loved it immediately for its elegance, it uniqueness and it European feel. Your sister kept urging to consider Sabrina, but you are so glad you didn't listen to her. Sabrina is too prissy and pedantic for your tastes. Henry was a source for much discussion and consideration. You were pushing for the French spelling and pronunciation of "Henri", but your husband would not budge. So he is Henry and it's ok now. Both kids attend the French School and you already plan to send Sabine to France as an exchange student since you did that yourself in high school. You kids are avid readers and tolerate the foreign movies that you force them to watch, which luckily has included Mr. Bean and some Japanese animation, those were big hits. You have taken family trips to France (Mais, oui!), Spain, and Morrocco. You make more money than your husband but somehow that has never been an issue and you are grateful for that. You have monthly Sunday brunch with several close friends...a tradition that started pre-kids and has happily grown to include the whole noisy bunch. You love traditions, big holiday celebrations, and late night walks around your neighorhood while holding your husband's hand. Your weaknesses include Bloody Marys, beef jerkey, and Labello lip balm (you get your friend in Germany to ship you several tubes every few months). You hope that your children will grow up loving foreign cultures as much as you do and you dream about having little European grandchildren to smother with kisses. |
Anonymous
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Madeline
Julia Claire |
Anonymous
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This is one of my favorite threads ever. I assume it is just one person providing these hilarious posts, and I think she should go on to write fiction. The one about my kids James and Ryan has enough truth to make me grin and its almost a look into a life we might have had (not a librarian, but not far off- siblings in the Midwest, not a husband but a wife, but I long for a porch and movies without animation and the house with the porch swing).
Bravo name-ologist! |
Anonymous
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I have written about 5, certainly not all!
How many other writers are out there?! |
Anonymous
I was a writer on some of the earlier pages way, way back. I did quite a few that got some laughs. I think it's come and gone in waves as new people join in the thread and start to contribute. By no means is it just one person writing these though! |
Anonymous
Makayla was conceived on New Year's Eve underneath the Christmas tree. She was a "very merry OOOPS baby," and as a joke, you put condoms in your husband's stocking, the following Christmas! There was not shortage of gifts under the tree for little Makayla's first Christmas! (However, Makayla seemed to like the ribbons & wrapping more than her gifts!) |
Anonymous
Blonde, blue eyed, adorable. Julia is jealous of Madeline because she was named after the "Madeline" series of books. Julia wants to know if they can switch names, but, of course, you say "no way!" Every night, the 3 girls fall asleep in their homemade forts underneath their beds. This summer, they are relentlessly begging you to let them sleep in the tent outside in the backyard, all night. You will likely give in, and say, "yes," but first you are planning to seduce your husband underneath the stars, in the hopes of conceiving a little brother for your trio of girls. |
Anonymous
Thank you! There are certainly several of us doing these over the past few weeks...mine tend to be longer than most and thanks for the compliment...secret desire to be a writer and this is proving to be a fun outlet. Glad you enjoyed my take on James and Ryan. P.S. I also have a hankering for a big porch with a swing. |