what do you think is the appropriate age is for wearing a 2-piece bathing suit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feel like it’s sexual and invites predators, then the tween time seems like the WORST time for it. It’s either 18 or infancy.

Keep your kids away from creeps and talk to them from an early age about creepy men. The one piece won’t save them. And if you are so crazy to believe it helps, I doubt you’ve been talking to your daughter about actual risks and how to think about, plan for and deal with dangerous men.

I don't have a problem with bikinis because I think it invites creeps. I have a problem with them because they're impractical and ridiculous for a child. My son and daughter wear the same clothes because children don't need gendered clothes. What's creepy is covering a child's nonexistent breasts.

Your little girl wears boys' bathing suits and you consider those "non-gendered"? If you think she will wear boys' board shorts and a rash guard (I guess she won't be allowed to wear a top under it even though she may need it by then) at age 10, 11, 12, you are insane. Good luck with the parenting process. It's going to be a doozy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are reasonable points on both sides, but the one thing I keep coming back to is how many adult women remember being cat called and harassed by older (i.e., adult) men as young teens. That inappropriate attention in itself is stressful and traumatizing for girls, regardless of whether they're confident with their bodies or insecure like so many teens are. I have young, but very tall and thus older looking girls and spend a lot of time now saying things like "ha, no she's not in second grade, actually she's only 5, just super tall!" and I assume that when she's 9 and looks 12, or 12 and looking 16, that inappropriate and unwanted attention is going to start, like it or not. So regardless of whether I should HAVE to worry about a bikini sexualizing my child, my gut instinct is that if a more childish bathing suit (like a one piece, rash guard, or tankini) can keep her looking closer to her actual age for longer, than let's say I require it for sun protection and hopefully stave off that nonsense for as long as possible.

I was harassed and catcalled while fully clothed, in winter, walking down the street. Also harassed and catcalled while at the beach, fully clothed, with my family.

When I was 12/13/14, I wore a very modest one piece specifically because I didn't want male attention. Guess what? Older boys at the pool still groped me, grabbed my crotch, and stuck my hand up my swimsuit.

I was too embarrassed to call them out because my parents made it clear it was *my* responsibility to safeguard my body by not wearing revealing clothes. It didn't work.

Had they taught me that I had the right to wear whatever I wanted and not be harassed, and that it was boys' responsibility to keep their hands to themselves, and that I should immediately tell an adult or lifeguard - things would have gone differently.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes my daughter is 10 and she is developing, so she does wear sports bras under her shirts regularly. We have compromised and said she can wear a sports bras/tankini style two-piece. She is very happy with this! I never mentioned any of my concerns about unwanted attention with her; I made it all about protecting her skin- she gets it and she is open to wearing a rash guard during the most intense sun hours of the day.
This has been an interesting forum to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you feel like it’s sexual and invites predators, then the tween time seems like the WORST time for it. It’s either 18 or infancy.

Keep your kids away from creeps and talk to them from an early age about creepy men. The one piece won’t save them. And if you are so crazy to believe it helps, I doubt you’ve been talking to your daughter about actual risks and how to think about, plan for and deal with dangerous men.

I don't have a problem with bikinis because I think it invites creeps. I have a problem with them because they're impractical and ridiculous for a child. My son and daughter wear the same clothes because children don't need gendered clothes. What's creepy is covering a child's nonexistent breasts.

Your little girl wears boys' bathing suits and you consider those "non-gendered"? If you think she will wear boys' board shorts and a rash guard (I guess she won't be allowed to wear a top under it even though she may need it by then) at age 10, 11, 12, you are insane. Good luck with the parenting process. It's going to be a doozy!

You really can't read can you.

[Anonymous]

I have a 10-year old daughter. She's always worn a competition-style one-piece in the pool, and a long-sleeve rashguard with board shorts on the beach. My plan is to continue with this until she's of age. I've actually switched to rashguards and board shorts myself after years in small bikinis and maillots and it's so liberating to not worry about sunscreen. I burn easily and no matter how well I applied sunblock in the past, I'd always come back with visible lines or a burn line from rubbing, adjusting or sliding.

[Anonymous]

My DD has always worn a 2 piece. She has a long torso so when we tried one piece suits they were uncomfortable and up her butt.

But more practically, she is and has been more independent getting a two piece on and off on her own. Can you imagine a 4 year old taking off a wet one piece to pee and then getting it back on herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD was in baby bikinis from her first summer. She has always worn bikinis, she is now 18. I never thought twice about them. When she was small the ruffles were super cute. And as a teen she always made appropriate choices. I should say that I also have only worn bikinis and I am 48. It isn’t 1950 OP, live a little

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10-year old daughter. She's always worn a competition-style one-piece in the pool, and a long-sleeve rashguard with board shorts on the beach. My plan is to continue with this until she's of age. I've actually switched to rashguards and board shorts myself after years in small bikinis and maillots and it's so liberating to not worry about sunscreen. I burn easily and no matter how well I applied sunblock in the past, I'd always come back with visible lines or a burn line from rubbing, adjusting or sliding.

My kids are 8 (girl) and 5 (boy). We all wear rash guards when it’s sunny. I’ve switched to board shorts and I love them. Not going back! When it’s not sunny I wear them with a cute bikini top that is attractive but there is zero danger of my boobs popping out when playing with my kids. (Thank you Athleta!)

My 8yo has 3 bottoms - regular bikini - not like a string bikini or a thong, just a regular bikini bottom that is “cheekier” than I like, but that’s true of adult suits too; swim skirt, and swim shorts. She has a short sleeve rash guard, long sleeve rash guard, a bikini top that is styled like a sports bra, and a tankini. She wears whatever combo she prefers, unless I require the rash guard for sun protection.

[Anonymous]

I started around 1.5/2 “letting” her wear a two piece, mostly because it was easier to maneuver after toilet training. She’s 7, and usually has 2 pieces, mostly for ease. I mean, we don’t buy her Brazilian style string bikinis. So I’m not worried about the 2 piece aspect.

And you may not like to hear this, but as a CSA survivor, someone who is going to sexualize a kid is going to do it whether they’re in a floor length flannel nightgown, or a string bikini.

[Anonymous]

The big issue is sun exposure and skin damage from the sun. Why expose so much skin when they’re little? Rash guards are great for protecting your child.

[Anonymous]

my child's first bathing suit at age 1 was a two piece - a long sleeve rash guard on top and ruffle bottom piece. I've continued the trend although she does also have a hand me down one piece bathing suit.
I'm with the pp poster though in favor of rash guards for skin protection. So even when she's in the one piece I put the rash guard on top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has always worn a 2 piece. She has a long torso so when we tried one piece suits they were uncomfortable and up her butt.

But more practically, she is and has been more independent getting a two piece on and off on her own. Can you imagine a 4 year old taking off a wet one piece to pee and then getting it back on herself?

Well, that’s not how you should be going to the bathroom in a one piece. You’re doing it wrong if you are pulling the whole thing down to your ankles. I thought this was common knowledge.

[Anonymous]

To be honest: I do think it is weird and a poor choice for a parent to put a young child in a bikini, especially when they have no opinion on the matter. But if at some point my older child/teen asked for two piece, I’d be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest: I do think it is weird and a poor choice for a parent to put a young child in a bikini, especially when they have no opinion on the matter. But if at some point my older child/teen asked for two piece, I’d be fine with it.

It’s weird you think a child’s belly should not be showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes my daughter is 10 and she is developing, so she does wear sports bras under her shirts regularly. We have compromised and said she can wear a sports bras/tankini style two-piece. She is very happy with this! I never mentioned any of my concerns about unwanted attention with her; I made it all about protecting her skin- she gets it and she is open to wearing a rash guard during the most intense sun hours of the day.
This has been an interesting forum to read.

I think this is a good compromise. I kept my DDs wearing more modest bikinis until high school and then I stepped back, although I still refuse to buy my 16 yo super cheeky bottoms. There's nothing wrong with establishing that all clothes aren't appropriate for all ages. Plus at 10 they need a suit that allows them to play without worry.