Errands with Maskless ASD child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to stress OP, that you need to make mask wearing a priority with therapy and at home. A few seconds to a few minutes to 10 minutes - work your way up. It will be horrible to have your child who does not tolerate a mask end up needing to be intubated or have a nasal canula for O2 sat or anything else if he or she develops breathing complications. Many of the therapists and specialists I work with are pushing that hard with their patients, many of those who have sensory disorders or ASD, because they know that entrance into school and also just in case their is a medical need, being able to wear a mask is so important.

Please make this something you work on hard core at home. It might save your child's life.

Some of these posts are rather hystrionic. If you've been following COVID at all, you should know the risk to young children is quite low. I'm trying to be respectful of the fact that the risk to adults- and the elderly in particular- is not low.

And yes, we have working with therapists on masks. There's no "working up" to anything, though. He just takes it off- immediately. And you can't exactly reason with a mostly non-verbal 3 year old. Clearly you have limited experience with anything besides neurotypical kids, so please try to recognize the very real possibility that you don't know what you're talking about.

There's a reason WHO specifically recommends against mask mandates for kids under 5. Some kids simply are not developmentally able to wear a mask- particularly at these young ages.

The WHO? Hahahahaha.

You could go to VA to do your errand there as they are more lax about mask wearing in general and don't require for the younger kids like MoCo does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some stores still do seniors and people with disabilities hours. Maybe go during those hours?

Wtf? Please don't encourage the kid who can't wear a mask to go with the seniors.

If the kid has a disability then why not? A lot of seniors are not being responsible with covid measures and they are still allowed. I think its perfectly fine for OP's kid to go and use this.

NP, don't do this. What a seriously shitty thing to do.

It's like people who bring their "emotional support animals" everywhere, claiming they have a need or that the animal is a service animal. It's an abuse of the need by trying to selfishly game the system.

Please, no one do what pp is suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have time to read the whole thread. Do you have a jogging stroller? Could you put a rain hood over it? It’s not great, but it is miles better than taking him anywhere unmasked.

For the record, I still think you should keep him home. My kids also haven’t been on an errand since March. I do grocery shopping after their bedtimes. Yes, stuff is out of stock. Yes, we have multiple food allergies/ sensitivities, so when “ my” bread is out, I don’t get bread. -gg

Why do you ask about a jogging stroller? No, but we have other strollers. I'm planning on using a tandem stroller that we already have. That way I'll have room for bags.

I thought about that rain cover idea a bit ago. I ordered one earlier tonight, although it's looking like I'm going to need to go into a bank before it arrives. With the limited banking hours, there's no avoiding bringing the kid along. I guess I can just drop the sun shade low as it goes.

You know you can deposit checks online now or even at some atms? You can get money from the atm. Do you really need to go into the bank? Your spouse can't watch the child for 30 minutes so you can run into the bank before 5pm? Or spouse can't run into the bank quickly before or after work? Or at a lunch break? Honestly OP you are either a troll or totally out of touch with reality. (Also, nothing to do with child having ASD, I don't run any errands with my toddler who won't wear a mask!)

No, not everything can be done online, via mobile banking, at the ATM, etc. And not everyone has a spouse that works from home or that is able to duck out of work early. You seem to have a very narrow view of reality, incapable of even conceiving of people that aren't in your personal situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, ADA type allowances have clauses where an exception doesn’t have to be made for someone’s disability if that exception will put someone else in harms way. So a store could make you leave, even if your child won’t wear a mask. I would not bring him because that will happen eventually to you, and it will be upsetting to both of you.

Also- your son is having in home therapy sessions so he is being exposed to people, indoors, outside of his family. He could easily be an asymptomatic covid carrier. It’s irresponsible to bring him unmasked into a store. If you said neither of you ever left the house or socialized with anyone , indoors or out, I’d be more on your side, but what you are contemplating doing is dangerous for your community.

And health care workers. Please think of the health care workers before you do this OP! Hire extra child care or get delivery.

I am thinking about health care workers. My spouse is a health care provider. That's why the logistics here are so difficult. Health care workers don't have the flexible hours that many of you have (well, the few of you posters that actually have real jobs). This is particularly true during COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some stores still do seniors and people with disabilities hours. Maybe go during those hours?

No, these are precisely the hours OP should avoid with a small unmasked child. They are for the elderly and for people more at risk to Covid, everyone with be masked and wearing face shields.

I would do grocery pickup so that you can stay in the car, as do as many drive through errands as possible. If you are in MoCo, that may mean you have to drive out of your way to newer areas.

If you can't do pickup or delivery, I would go during the afternoon or anytime you think more people are going out to do errands with kids.

It would be during the afternoon because therapy is in the morning, anyway.

Grocery pickup/delivery is terrible. I've been trying it more the last few weeks because of the changes with therapy, and as I've said, it just makes me need to go to the store anyway to get things they missed or to replace things that were bad. I'll keep doing it for some basics that they can't possibly screw up, but it's absolutely no replacement for trips to get ingredients for meals.

Wait, the big thing you want to put people at risk for is... not getting every item on your shopping list every time? Seriously?

We have been doing grocery pickup for 9 months. Some weeks you don't get everything you asked for, and you work around it. (Most weeks you get almost everything, though-- if you don't, switch to another store.) We would never dream of increasing the spread of an out-of-control pandemic just to make sure we get every last thing every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have time to read the whole thread. Do you have a jogging stroller? Could you put a rain hood over it? It’s not great, but it is miles better than taking him anywhere unmasked.

For the record, I still think you should keep him home. My kids also haven’t been on an errand since March. I do grocery shopping after their bedtimes. Yes, stuff is out of stock. Yes, we have multiple food allergies/ sensitivities, so when “ my” bread is out, I don’t get bread. -gg

Why do you ask about a jogging stroller? No, but we have other strollers. I'm planning on using a tandem stroller that we already have. That way I'll have room for bags.

I thought about that rain cover idea a bit ago. I ordered one earlier tonight, although it's looking like I'm going to need to go into a bank before it arrives. With the limited banking hours, there's no avoiding bringing the kid along. I guess I can just drop the sun shade low as it goes.

You know you can deposit checks online now or even at some atms? You can get money from the atm. Do you really need to go into the bank? Your spouse can't watch the child for 30 minutes so you can run into the bank before 5pm? Or spouse can't run into the bank quickly before or after work? Or at a lunch break? Honestly OP you are either a troll or totally out of touch with reality. (Also, nothing to do with child having ASD, I don't run any errands with my toddler who won't wear a mask!)

OP, I supported you earlier in the thread, but I'm officially rescinding it. You don't need to go into the bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have time to read the whole thread. Do you have a jogging stroller? Could you put a rain hood over it? It’s not great, but it is miles better than taking him anywhere unmasked.

For the record, I still think you should keep him home. My kids also haven’t been on an errand since March. I do grocery shopping after their bedtimes. Yes, stuff is out of stock. Yes, we have multiple food allergies/ sensitivities, so when “ my” bread is out, I don’t get bread. -gg

Why do you ask about a jogging stroller? No, but we have other strollers. I'm planning on using a tandem stroller that we already have. That way I'll have room for bags.

I thought about that rain cover idea a bit ago. I ordered one earlier tonight, although it's looking like I'm going to need to go into a bank before it arrives. With the limited banking hours, there's no avoiding bringing the kid along. I guess I can just drop the sun shade low as it goes.

You know you can deposit checks online now or even at some atms? You can get money from the atm. Do you really need to go into the bank? Your spouse can't watch the child for 30 minutes so you can run into the bank before 5pm? Or spouse can't run into the bank quickly before or after work? Or at a lunch break? Honestly OP you are either a troll or totally out of touch with reality. (Also, nothing to do with child having ASD, I don't run any errands with my toddler who won't wear a mask!)

OP, I supported you earlier in the thread, but I'm officially rescinding it. You don't need to go into the bank.

+1. I've literally gone to the bank once in the past year. Why on earth do you need to go so often?

Oh, and since you now revealed you have a spouse in healthcare, you guys need to just be getting delivery. You want to take out an unmasked kid who lives with a health care worker???? No, just no. Grocery stores are open late, just wait till your spouse gets home if you MUST go in person. Good god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have time to read the whole thread. Do you have a jogging stroller? Could you put a rain hood over it? It’s not great, but it is miles better than taking him anywhere unmasked.

For the record, I still think you should keep him home. My kids also haven’t been on an errand since March. I do grocery shopping after their bedtimes. Yes, stuff is out of stock. Yes, we have multiple food allergies/ sensitivities, so when “ my” bread is out, I don’t get bread. -gg

Why do you ask about a jogging stroller? No, but we have other strollers. I'm planning on using a tandem stroller that we already have. That way I'll have room for bags.

I thought about that rain cover idea a bit ago. I ordered one earlier tonight, although it's looking like I'm going to need to go into a bank before it arrives. With the limited banking hours, there's no avoiding bringing the kid along. I guess I can just drop the sun shade low as it goes.

You know you can deposit checks online now or even at some atms? You can get money from the atm. Do you really need to go into the bank? Your spouse can't watch the child for 30 minutes so you can run into the bank before 5pm? Or spouse can't run into the bank quickly before or after work? Or at a lunch break? Honestly OP you are either a troll or totally out of touch with reality. (Also, nothing to do with child having ASD, I don't run any errands with my toddler who won't wear a mask!)

OP, I supported you earlier in the thread, but I'm officially rescinding it. You don't need to go into the bank.

I actually really do need to go into the bank, and I'm pretty annoyed about it, because I'm going to have to cut therapy short to do it.

But again, I was not seeking anyone's support. I knew DCUM well enough to know that would never happen. I was seeking ideas for reasonable measures I could take while having my child accompany me on errands. To summarize, the constructive feedback I received was:
1) keep the child in a stroller,
2) use a plastic raincover, if possible, and
3) go during the afternoon, particularly avoiding times for seniors.

[Anonymous]

No OP, if you read your original posting you ask what we all think, and how much grief you’re going to get.

Looks like the majority think you’re selfish and incredibly irresponsible, since you asked. The amount of grief you’ll get is likely not much verbally (though looks like they kick people off planes for trying this stunt) but everyone around you, including the people who genuinely must be in the store like the people working there, will think you are selfish for putting your wants above their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No OP, if you read your original posting you ask what we all think, and how much grief you’re going to get.

Looks like the majority think you’re selfish and incredibly irresponsible, since you asked. The amount of grief you’ll get is likely not much verbally (though looks like they kick people off planes for trying this stunt) but everyone around you, including the people who genuinely must be in the store like the people working there, will think you are selfish for putting your wants above their lives.

If that's the case, then I'll probably drop the rain cover, because I think that's just going to lead to crying/screaming.

[Anonymous]

Well, I don't think we should be taking kids anywhere right now, but it's unlikely anyone will say anything to you about a 3yo because unless that are very large for their age they could probably get away as a 2yo.

Seeing as you are more worried about someone saying something to you than the risk your child poses to others, why not just go to a bank/grocery store outside the county? Like you said it is really only Montgomery that requires masks for children under 5 (unless others have followed? I don't keep track). That seems a lot easier than the other things people are proposing.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your son has been in daycare previously, is there not an option for you to have some degree of respite care? If he needs therapies, your practitioners should be able to go to wherever he is in order to provide those.

Thing is, masks are helpful in the context of low risk people. Your son is seeing multiple high risk people due to his therapies, and then you are taking him with no mask into the community. This doesn’t really serve the activity of prevention at large.

Call your bank *gasp* and communicate with them. Yes, you need to go, and possibly with your unmasked son who has been exposed,unmasked, to several health care workers in the previous time period. See if there are options for your services. Before hours, after hours - many banks offer “other” services by appointment only that will afford you service without being part of the fray. But to get them, you need to communicate.

Also, I get your challenges with your son, but masks aren’t going away any time soon. Of errands are a “must have” for you, you need to adjust that mask wearing is part of his ADLs with priority. Your team may be working on it, but if they don’t know how critical it is, it may not be a priority in the degree it needs to be for you to be able to live your life as you need to. It may be a higher reward behaviour you need to work towards, and give a .title on something else.m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Call your bank *gasp* and communicate with them. Yes, you need to go, and possibly with your unmasked son who has been exposed,unmasked, to several health care workers in the previous time period. See if there are options for your services. Before hours, after hours - many banks offer “other” services by appointment only that will afford you service without being part of the fray. But to get them, you need to communicate.

FWIW, I did contact the bank and inquired about alternatives, since it's going to be very disruptive to pull him out of therapy to bring him to the bank during business hours. I was very clear about what I'd have to do, and they told me just to bring him along. I get that that is fine for them, but it is far from ideal for me and my child.

Similarly, I checked with the other establishments I'd be going to, who all told me this was a non-issue from their perspective.

I always knew DCUM would be on the more extreme side on this. And that's specifically why I posted here, and specifically in the regular toddler forum rather than the special needs forum. I'm trying to identify some mutually-agreeable reasonable accommodation here that would give demographic represented by the DCUM crowd some peace of mind.

But, my takeaway here is that I'll likely get snarky remarks and looks regardless of what I do. And if that's really the case, then I'm not going to bother taking some of the more extreme mitigations, like using a plastic weather shield. I see no reason to put my kid through that if it's not actually going to make you all feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Call your bank *gasp* and communicate with them. Yes, you need to go, and possibly with your unmasked son who has been exposed,unmasked, to several health care workers in the previous time period. See if there are options for your services. Before hours, after hours - many banks offer “other” services by appointment only that will afford you service without being part of the fray. But to get them, you need to communicate.

FWIW, I did contact the bank and inquired about alternatives, since it's going to be very disruptive to pull him out of therapy to bring him to the bank during business hours. I was very clear about what I'd have to do, and they told me just to bring him along. I get that that is fine for them, but it is far from ideal for me and my child.

Similarly, I checked with the other establishments I'd be going to, who all told me this was a non-issue from their perspective.

I always knew DCUM would be on the more extreme side on this. And that's specifically why I posted here, and specifically in the regular toddler forum rather than the special needs forum. I'm trying to identify some mutually-agreeable reasonable accommodation here that would give demographic represented by the DCUM crowd some peace of mind.

But, my takeaway here is that I'll likely get snarky remarks and looks regardless of what I do. And if that's really the case, then I'm not going to bother taking some of the more extreme mitigations, like using a plastic weather shield. I see no reason to put my kid through that if it's not actually going to make you all feel better.

Personally I'm not going to give any small child in a stroller snarky looks. But I do think using the weather shield is considerate of others and that you should use it if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Call your bank *gasp* and communicate with them. Yes, you need to go, and possibly with your unmasked son who has been exposed,unmasked, to several health care workers in the previous time period. See if there are options for your services. Before hours, after hours - many banks offer “other” services by appointment only that will afford you service without being part of the fray. But to get them, you need to communicate.

FWIW, I did contact the bank and inquired about alternatives, since it's going to be very disruptive to pull him out of therapy to bring him to the bank during business hours. I was very clear about what I'd have to do, and they told me just to bring him along. I get that that is fine for them, but it is far from ideal for me and my child.

Similarly, I checked with the other establishments I'd be going to, who all told me this was a non-issue from their perspective.

I always knew DCUM would be on the more extreme side on this. And that's specifically why I posted here, and specifically in the regular toddler forum rather than the special needs forum. I'm trying to identify some mutually-agreeable reasonable accommodation here that would give demographic represented by the DCUM crowd some peace of mind.

But, my takeaway here is that I'll likely get snarky remarks and looks regardless of what I do. And if that's really the case, then I'm not going to bother taking some of the more extreme mitigations, like using a plastic weather shield. I see no reason to put my kid through that if it's not actually going to make you all feel better.

You’re not doing anyone here any favors— everyone else gets their groceries delivered or, if they work at a grocery store, kindly asked you to leave your kid at home rather than risk their lives for your Very Important Ingredient.