Who are these loser millennials?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Sure, that's your choice and your opinion, but is it a character failing to have a different approach? Personally, I don't want to waste any significant amount of time on anything that doesn't contribute to my happiness when there are plenty of options out there that will.

And I don't believe positive feedback is just about ego stroking. Positive feedback can be instructive about future career moves, what I should focus more of my energy on, and let's me know what I'm doing that my company actually values. There are plenty of people who think they're amazing at things they actually aren't, or that don't actually matter. It's important to have the full picture. From a management perspective, positive feedback is often a great motivator, costs literally nothing, and employees who feel appreciated and fulfilled are actually better employees.

I think that’s one of the main differences between being an employee in your 20s/30s vs. your 40s/50s—the notion of having plenty of other options out there and the illusion that any of them will bring you happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

That’s interesting, because my older managers regularly praise me (early 30s millennial) for being the hardest working person in our office and willing to take on any grunt task. Frankly, they are too lazy to do it themselves and own that, which is kind of funny and refreshing. I don’t mind it because they have my back and award/promote me regularly. Just goes to show you that it’s pointless to generalize.

Girl, I'm sure you're great. But I definitely praise my early 30s employees more than older employees, because I perceive they need it. I never lie, but I deliver praise in the way that people can best receive it. Younger people seem to need it to be more effusive. To me, it's not bad or good. It's different.

Also, to be clear, my older employees absolutely know that I think they are awesome. But I deliver their praise in 1-2 specific, detailed sentences. Beyond that, they get uncomfortable.

Well, whatever works for you and your team. I would like to think I am not praised because my managers perceive that I “need” it more so than others solely because of my age, but I certainly could be wrong. How do you treat your even younger colleagues if you treat your early 30s employees like children?

I tend to find these threads annoying because it is obviously frustrating to be judged the way some people here do just for being a millennial. I’m 33, for crying out loud. I can’t help the label or when I was born. I am just as productive and worthwhile as any older member of society.

It's not about any label. It's about what seems to get a reaction that indicates that person is feeling like they are doing a good job. Maybe I'm misinterpreting things.

Either way, I'm not the one who posted about how frequently I'm praised and how lazy my older managers are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

DP but omg is there anything worse than the DCUM cliche of the poster who asks her darling husband for his comments on work culture... it’s so cringey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

DP but omg is there anything worse than the DCUM cliche of the poster who asks her darling husband for his comments on work culture... it’s so cringey.

It’s not work culture; it’s good management practice.

Jeez some of you are dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

Considering I’m actively participating in this thread and he’s not, I beg to differ. And just curious, does he find his actual employees’ viewpoints worthless also? Go ask him, I’ll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

NP. But is your husband an Executive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

Considering I’m actively participating in this thread and he’s not, I beg to differ. And just curious, does he find his actual employees’ viewpoints worthless also? Go ask him, I’ll wait.

What sort of boss finds his employees’ viewpoints worthless?

What world do you live in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Do you manage people? If you manage people and have zero concept as to why positive feedback is critical for running a team, then you must be a pretty shitty boss.

No, I’m only on the receiving end and I really don’t care about it.

That’s nice. I asked my husband about whether he considers providing positive feedback a productive thing for his employees, as he’s managed people for years. He said “of course. It’s critical if they’re going to understand where they’re strong and where they need to improve, as well as for helping them develop their careers moving forward.”

Thank god you don’t manage people.

I agree, thank god. And, uh, tell your husband thanks for his thoughts on this?

Considering he’s a manager and you’re not, i think your viewpoint on this is fairly useless.

NP. But is your husband an Executive?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Sure, that's your choice and your opinion, but is it a character failing to have a different approach? Personally, I don't want to waste any significant amount of time on anything that doesn't contribute to my happiness when there are plenty of options out there that will.

And I don't believe positive feedback is just about ego stroking. Positive feedback can be instructive about future career moves, what I should focus more of my energy on, and let's me know what I'm doing that my company actually values. There are plenty of people who think they're amazing at things they actually aren't, or that don't actually matter. It's important to have the full picture. From a management perspective, positive feedback is often a great motivator, costs literally nothing, and employees who feel appreciated and fulfilled are actually better employees.

I think that’s one of the main differences between being an employee in your 20s/30s vs. your 40s/50s—the notion of having plenty of other options out there and the illusion that any of them will bring you happiness.

Perhaps. I'm now in my mid 30s and it's served me pretty well thus far. I've had jobs at some really great companies doing work that I'm passionate about and really enjoy. I watched my parents work their asses off at jobs that didn't make them happy and it seemed to really suck the joy out of their lives both in and outside of work. My siblings and I had anxiety coming home from school each day never knowing what kind of mood they'd be in after work. They each pretty much collapsed in front of a screen and zoned out each night, when they weren't being sour with us. I just don't believe for one second that fulfillment and happiness at work doesn't matter, and I would guess that people who insist it doesn't matter aren't to leave that unhappiness at work as well as they think they do. My parents are finally loving life now that they're retired, and I'm so happy for them, but I plan to enjoy my whole life not just the final bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-x manager, I find millennials draining. As someone upthread pointed out, it’s the need for positive feedback, picking and choosing projects based on whether it makes them feel fulfilled, and the inability to shut up and listen and learn that makes me crazy. Part of that is based on characteristics of my generation. - many of our parents were silent generation and we were a lot of latchkey kids. It was kind of ingrained that no one really cared what we thought and you just be quiet and get things done. I’m actually uncomfortable when people gush about my work, and I don’t need rewards - I figure if someone is unhappy they’ll let me know. My workplace is not there to make me feel validated as a human being. I don’t normally think about providing lots of positive feedback. I am very aware of being respectful of peoples’ time out of work and wanting people to have down time, but when it’s your turn to take the grunt work and spend actual time becoming good in what you do, you need to do it.

Why is it so terrible to have a different perspective on these things than you do? Moving through life believing that your thoughts and opinions aren't worth anyone caring about sounds quite sad. Something like one third of your life is spent working, and that a huge percentage of the one life you get to spend not feeling valued or fulfilled. And seriously what's wrong with positive feedback? A good manager should provide both. Your employees need to know what they are doing well just as much as what they are doing wrong.

A lot of the complaints I see about managing and working with millennials seems rooted in the idea that work should suck and millennials are difficult because they won't just accept that.

Gen-Xer who couldn’t care less about positive feedback. It’s infantilizing. I know what I’m good at and I know when I’m doing good work. I don’t look to my job to feel valued or fulfilled, I just go there to get paid so I can enjoy real fulfillment in my free time.

Sure, that's your choice and your opinion, but is it a character failing to have a different approach? Personally, I don't want to waste any significant amount of time on anything that doesn't contribute to my happiness when there are plenty of options out there that will.

And I don't believe positive feedback is just about ego stroking. Positive feedback can be instructive about future career moves, what I should focus more of my energy on, and let's me know what I'm doing that my company actually values. There are plenty of people who think they're amazing at things they actually aren't, or that don't actually matter. It's important to have the full picture. From a management perspective, positive feedback is often a great motivator, costs literally nothing, and employees who feel appreciated and fulfilled are actually better employees.

I think that’s one of the main differences between being an employee in your 20s/30s vs. your 40s/50s—the notion of having plenty of other options out there and the illusion that any of them will bring you happiness.

Perhaps. I'm now in my mid 30s and it's served me pretty well thus far. I've had jobs at some really great companies doing work that I'm passionate about and really enjoy. I watched my parents work their asses off at jobs that didn't make them happy and it seemed to really suck the joy out of their lives both in and outside of work. My siblings and I had anxiety coming home from school each day never knowing what kind of mood they'd be in after work. They each pretty much collapsed in front of a screen and zoned out each night, when they weren't being sour with us. I just don't believe for one second that fulfillment and happiness at work doesn't matter, and I would guess that people who insist it doesn't matter aren't to leave that unhappiness at work as well as they think they do. My parents are finally loving life now that they're retired, and I'm so happy for them, but I plan to enjoy my whole life not just the final bit.

I’m 34 and feel the exact same way. I love my job — it pays well, there’s great job security, and I’m passionate about it.

I watched my dad work for 30 years at a job he hated. My mom quit her job, which she loved, when we were younger and eventually found something else when my sister and I were younger, but it was tough. I’ve made some very conscious choices to ensure that I can be the mom I want to be to my daughter and not quit my job or go part-time.

I guess it just makes some people very uncomfortable to see others achieve this balance.