Mom took apart my 6yr olds legos

[Anonymous]

How much time did she have? It takes ages to take apart all of his Lego sets. Where was everyone else?

[Anonymous]

Op, did your parents leave right after this happened? I don’t understand the purpose/choice of writing a note vs speaking with your DC?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

First PP - I have experience with Legos. They are a toy - this lady didn’t take apart a real NASA space shuttle. I also have experience with families and sorry but I won’t treat my parents/ILs poorly bc my 6 yr olds feelings are hurt over a TOY. No I wouldn’t kick her out, make her apologize to a person 1/10th of her age, buy him anything, or subject her to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos. No way. He has to learn that feelings get hurt and when it’s about toys, he has to sort that out and no adult is going to coddle him over it. I mean she didn’t destroy his homework or his prescription glasses?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

First PP - I have experience with Legos. They are a toy - this lady didn’t take apart a real NASA space shuttle. I also have experience with families and sorry but I won’t treat my parents/ILs poorly bc my 6 yr olds feelings are hurt over a TOY. No I wouldn’t kick her out, make her apologize to a person 1/10th of her age, buy him anything, or subject her to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos. No way. He has to learn that feelings get hurt and when it’s about toys, he has to sort that out and no adult is going to coddle him over it. I mean she didn’t destroy his homework or his prescription glasses?!

You're a poor excuse of a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked at how everyone is defending the kid and saying the grandma has to apologize. I bet she thought she was helping by tidying up and just viewed the Lego things as playing and he can play again, so it's no big deal.

The bigger issue is scolding him after he started crying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before we jump on grandma- remember that this is generational. When our parents were kids legos were just legos- not fancy sets with instructions. Maybe she didn't know the difference?

But this isn’t Grandma’s house. She had no business “cleaning up” the kids’ playroom this way. It isn’t her house and those aren’t her Legos, so she shouldn’t have touched them.

Exactly. This is entirely a boundary issue. She shouldn't have "cleaned up" without asking first, and she definitely shouldn't have taken anything apart. Whether it was the 6yo's Legos, or anything belonging to others in the house. I wonder what else she "helps" with at OP's house.

Also, the "generational" argument is crap. Legos have had sets since we were kids, at least (I'm in my late 40s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

First PP - I have experience with Legos. They are a toy - this lady didn’t take apart a real NASA space shuttle. I also have experience with families and sorry but I won’t treat my parents/ILs poorly bc my 6 yr olds feelings are hurt over a TOY. No I wouldn’t kick her out, make her apologize to a person 1/10th of her age, buy him anything, or subject her to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos. No way. He has to learn that feelings get hurt and when it’s about toys, he has to sort that out and no adult is going to coddle him over it. I mean she didn’t destroy his homework or his prescription glasses?!

So It would be perfectly OK if he went and did the same thing to a sibling’s creation right? He wouldn’t get in trouble and the sibling would need to just get over it right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked at how everyone is defending the kid and saying the grandma has to apologize. I bet she thought she was helping by tidying up and just viewed the Lego things as playing and he can play again, so it's no big deal.

How old are your kids?

6, 7.5, 9, and 11. Not sure how their ages are relevant though.

Your post comes off as someone who doesn’t have kids.
If you read the posts on the first page, you’ll see that the grandmother got defensive right away and blamed the kid, even though the Legos were set aside and not in the way of anything. THAT was the big deal here. OP wouldn’t have posted had her mom just owned it, apologized and helped to fix it. Instead the grandmother doubled down.

Yeah, I read the first page. I still maintain the grandma had good intentions and was trying to help by cleaning up toys. If my kids want something left out/alone, they need to put a note near/on it. Someone else may need the space, or the supplies, or not realize the importance to the creator, etc. So it seems totally reasonable to me.

A 6-year old must leave a note in case grandma wants to tidy his room? Do you know how idiotic you sound?

Not his room. The playroom, which is for everybody. Just like if someone has claimed a final brownie, they put their name on it so everyone else knows not to eat it.

You’re insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

Mothers aren’t special just because they gave birth to you. If they can’t respect your family or your home, they deserve the consequences. And in this case, the mother scolded the child even though she was at fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Funny how this didn’t come into play when grandma decided to destroy them.

What if the grandson had decided to undo all of grandma’s cross stitch because it looked messy? Or if he’d decided to put her (hand wash only) China in the dishwasher to be helpful and damaged ALL of it? Would you still be saying the grandma was being “fragile” for being upset? Would the grandson be exempt from apologizing?

Huh? I'm saying that you people who think Grandma should sort the pieces are nuts.

And this is a good time to teach DS how to handle being upset appropriately. Not making it into a bigger issue than it already is.

You’re missing the point. Would it still be no big deal to you if the grandson had destroyed something valuable to his grandmother?

Destroyed?
You're being incredibly dramatic and reacting as if his grandmother acted out of malice or with intent.

The Minecraft sets are NOT large... this is so very extra.

[Anonymous]

This is soooo extra.

Op, if you think your mom was just trying to help and clean up, dial back the hysteria and teach your kid life happens and here is how to deal with adversity. We can’t all live or die and destroy relationships bc he is bummed about his LEGO. What if a younger sibling did something like this- right? You have to move on.

If she was malicious, I mean, she’s nuts and you have bigger problems.

I think it’s the former bc if you think it’s the latter you would have indicated she has done crazy mean stuff before. Most likely this is just a mom who was trying to help by riding up. (My own mom is guilty of this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

First PP - I have experience with Legos. They are a toy - this lady didn’t take apart a real NASA space shuttle. I also have experience with families and sorry but I won’t treat my parents/ILs poorly bc my 6 yr olds feelings are hurt over a TOY. No I wouldn’t kick her out, make her apologize to a person 1/10th of her age, buy him anything, or subject her to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos. No way. He has to learn that feelings get hurt and when it’s about toys, he has to sort that out and no adult is going to coddle him over it. I mean she didn’t destroy his homework or his prescription glasses?!

You're legitimately nuts. If the old witch hadn't "subject[ed] her[SELF] to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos" then there wouldn't be an issue. Get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is soooo extra.

Op, if you think your mom was just trying to help and clean up, dial back the hysteria and teach your kid life happens and here is how to deal with adversity. We can’t all live or die and destroy relationships bc he is bummed about his LEGO. What if a younger sibling did something like this- right? You have to move on.

If she was malicious, I mean, she’s nuts and you have bigger problems.

I think it’s the former bc if you think it’s the latter you would have indicated she has done crazy mean stuff before. Most likely this is just a mom who was trying to help by riding up. (My own mom is guilty of this).

If your mom destroyed something your child did and your child cried, you wouldn’t be upset if she scolded the child instead of apologizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh he’s 6. No way I’m picking a fight with adults I otherwise get along with because of a 6 year old’s toy, nor am
I subjecting anyone to sorting or rebuilding. If he wants to, he can. If not, whatever.

+1

Unless you have some reason to believe she did it maliciously, all you have is an old lady who put away some toys and thought she was being helpful. I absolutely would not yell at her or demand she buy my kid anything. I can’t believe you treat your mothers like this.

There's something really wrong with both of you, honestly. I mean that. Unless you have had literally no experience with Lego (in which case you should stay out of the discussion), it seems like you're both as psycho as the grandma. I feel sorry for your kids.

First PP - I have experience with Legos. They are a toy - this lady didn’t take apart a real NASA space shuttle. I also have experience with families and sorry but I won’t treat my parents/ILs poorly bc my 6 yr olds feelings are hurt over a TOY. No I wouldn’t kick her out, make her apologize to a person 1/10th of her age, buy him anything, or subject her to the indentured servitude of sorting and playing with legos. No way. He has to learn that feelings get hurt and when it’s about toys, he has to sort that out and no adult is going to coddle him over it. I mean she didn’t destroy his homework or his prescription glasses?!

This is just mean. God forbid a parent "coddle" her *six year old* for being upset something he worked hard on was destroyed for no apparent reason and then he got scolded for being upset. I know I'll get dragged for this but Grandma's approach to scold the kid for being upset sounds like a great way to teach toxic masculinity.

This poster sounds like the bitter narcissistic parents/grandparents all over the internet who don't understand why their families don't want anything to do with them.