s/o kitchen is closed
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Anonymous
They sound stingy, not wanting to spend their own money on food? Or traumatized by depression-era parents? Do they thrift and coupon a lot? |
Anonymous
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For all of you who have kitchen closed relatives, why do you continue to stay with them?
I have a kitchen is closed MIL and other than when we visit them in the winter at their cabin for skiing, we never stay with them. It's just easier to maintain a peaceful relationship if we don't stay with them. I mean, when we go to their cabin for skiing, that's usually just a long weekend and it's hard enough to bite my tongue then. I can't imagine having to do it for longer than 3-4 days. My MIL is one who allows you to have water (no other drinks) all day but food can only be consumed at mealtimes, which are 7 am, 1 pm, and 6 pm. She has zero flexibility, either. If a kid slept in past once breakfast had been cleaned up, no breakfast for them. And we're not talking elaborate spreads, either. Breakfast is always 2 or 3 boxes of cereal sat out, the milk jug sat out, and the OJ jug sat out. She always complains that she doesn't get to see her grandkids as much as "the other grandparents" yet she gets defensive when she's told that it's because it's too expensive for some of them to visit and stay in a hotel (they live in a summer vacation destination) and too stressful to stay at their house. My SIL is the only one who stays with them because she has no kids and is slightly as insane about food as MIL. |
Anonymous
Ha ha. My grandmother used to chase my grandfather out of the kitchen - usually on holidays! Now my mom and I do this to my dad - he'll be in there picking at the dressing, etc. I close the kitchen to my kids every once in a while when they are out of control with snacks. |
Anonymous
This is a special kind of person who “diets” when you are there. Once your are gone it’s back to the chips and ice cream. |
Anonymous
| Gosh your relatives found hungry. |
Anonymous
| Old people who are slim ear practically nothing. MIL would let us eat anything we could find but the shelves were bare. Some lettuce and celery sticks. Some canned soup. |
Anonymous
Same. My uncle, who does all of the cooking in his family, has a closed kitchen because he makes "hearty" meals and he's morbidly obese. A normal breakfast for him each day is 3 eggs, bacon, those biscuits in a tube, apple sauce, bananas, and coffee. He'll then go until 1 or 2 before he's hungry again. His lunch will be a big sub, chips, crackers, cookies, a powerbar of some sort, and fruit. Then dinner, which usually happens at 7 or later, is another huge meal, like meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, rolls, and then dessert. It's like my cousin who did some kind of weird 12 hour diet where she could eat whatever she wanted for one hour every 12 hours. She didn't understand why she wasn't losing weight. Um, because ONE meal consisted of two McDonald's breakfast sandwiches, 2 hash browns, a large sugar filled OJ, snack cakes, bag of chips, cheese sticks, and Go-gurts. You can't lose weight if you eat 2,000 calories twice a day! |
Anonymous
| This is so unhealthy to eat with such gaps. Slows down your metabolism. |
Anonymous
Why don't you bring your own food and tell her she can eat what she likes but you will eat the way you like? My parents aren't like this at all but they don't typically buy enough for us or for what we want (the kids don't like Lactaid milk that my mom drinks, they want regular milk; my mom thinks 1 dozen eggs will feed 10 people for 3 days because she doesn't eat eggs, but the rest of us do, etc). So when we get there, we settle in and then that evening I make a run to the grocery store. We don't want to eat up all their food and we want to be able to eat when we want to and not make my mom have to cook something. My parents like to do brunch at 11, snack at 4, and dinner at 8 pm. With a 2 year old and a 5 year old we prefer to do breakfast around 7:30 or 8, then go out for a morning activity -- not conducive to brunch -- and then do lunch around 12:30 or 1 and dinner by 7 so the kids can be in bed by 8:30. My sister's kids are slightly younger and have similar schedules and we all try to visit together, so often there are 4 kids under 5 running around. I'm not going to make my mom cook around our schedule, so I do it myself. She will either join us or not -- usually she joins us for company even if she isn't eating. It's easier that way. My MIL on the other hand wants to do all the cooking so she asks for a list of food and schedules and is willing to accommodate us even though I've told her we're happy to do it, she doesn't have to put herself out. That's her preference so that's what we do, and it's fine. When people come to my house I will confess, I don't usually think to offer food if it's not a meal time, but of course if someone asked for a snack I'd be happy to make them one or list the contents of the cabinet. And when we have visitors we always ask for a list of what they want. I guess I'm like my MIL that way. |
Anonymous
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Not 4th related, but my in-laws arrive for two weeks tomorrow. They are wonderful parents to my DH, and wonderful grandparents to DD.
They’re in our home, but I will tiptoe over everything. I jut spend three weeks with the overseas a month ago. Sandwiches are a bun, (usually pork) meat, pickles, and mustard only. If you want cheese, lettuce, or anything else, it’s not really acceptable. Breakfast is a buttered pretzel and coffee, or half a muffin and coffee. Do not deviate. Dinner must be as plain as possible. No spices. 1/4 a tap of cumin in a pot of soup will be noticed. Meat must be accompanied at all times with gravy. Dinner should be meat + gravy + starch, and one of two vegetables. |
Anonymous
| ^^ above seems like a good hostess plan. Kids and oldsters eat on different schedules. |
Anonymous
Do you know why? I had no idea there are so many people with eating disorders ... |
Anonymous
| I’m just reading all of this in fascination. We don’t really consider ourselves guests at our parents houses, nor are they guests at ours. We are family. When we visit MIL we go to the store and buy food. Then we cook whatever we want and offer it to her too if she’s interested. I would never leave dishes in the sink or crumbs, how rude. When she comes she doesn’t get a car so I ask what she wants in the house or take her shopping so she can have what she wants. Anybody goes into any kitchen as if they live there. |
Anonymous
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I used to think that my ILs are weird with food, but apparently it’s the whole cultural thing. I am from different culture and in my parents house feeding happens constantly, and there is always food in the fridge. And my parents are not rich typical middle class. My husband’s parents have 0 food, never offer to eat when we are visiting, we pretty much on our own for dinner and stuff. MIL eats toast for every meal and that’s it, while buys very high end clothing etc.
I was always puzzled about food thing. |
Anonymous
No, in fact they are quite wealthy. They think nothing of going out and buying two BMWs in one fell swoop, but then have very strange spending rules around piddly little things. |