s/o kitchen is closed

[Anonymous]

My dad says this. He means he’s not cooking or washing any more dishes. If you heat up some leftovers, have a snack, or get a drink, you clean up after yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is like this. She was like this when we were kids. I grew up in an affluent neighborhood, my parents had plenty of money, but I was always hungry. I can remember going to people's houses and finding out that they had things like left overs and family style meals where you could choose how much you ate, and being amazed. In my family, my mother would buy exactly what she thought we should eat for the week. So, if we were having chicken on Tuesday she'd buy 5 chicken drumsticks, one for each family member, and 5 small rolls, and measure out exactly 5 1/2 cups of frozen vegetables. She'd boast about how her kids always cleaned their plates, but that was because we were hungry!!

This is so sad.

[Anonymous]

I am interested in knowing whether this is a cultural thing among some white people. We are not white and our families keep feeding and feeding and feeding us and their guests. It would be devestatingly rude for someone to be hungry in their homes.

However, I do tell my own young kids “last call” at dinner time only, because otherwise they suddenly decide they are hungry at bedtime as a stalling technique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am interested in knowing whether this is a cultural thing among some white people. We are not white and our families keep feeding and feeding and feeding us and their guests. It would be devestatingly rude for someone to be hungry in their homes.

However, I do tell my own young kids “last call” at dinner time only, because otherwise they suddenly decide they are hungry at bedtime as a stalling technique.

I’m white and I would never dream of telling my guests the kitchen is closed. In fact, I’d make them another meal at 10pm if they wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad says this. He means he’s not cooking or washing any more dishes. If you heat up some leftovers, have a snack, or get a drink, you clean up after yourselves.

This is what it meant in my house growing up too. Only, it was my mom who said it. Drinks were always okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am interested in knowing whether this is a cultural thing among some white people. We are not white and our families keep feeding and feeding and feeding us and their guests. It would be devestatingly rude for someone to be hungry in their homes.

However, I do tell my own young kids “last call” at dinner time only, because otherwise they suddenly decide they are hungry at bedtime as a stalling technique.

Can we not make this a "cultural" (race) thing? It's clearly a control thing, a "frugality" thing, a food-issues thing, an OCD clean thing. Those dynamics cross all cultures and races and regions and backgrounds, so let's not with that.

[Anonymous]

I have never said this. Maybe to my kids after they’ve had 3 hours together of 4 snacky-meals. Like... ok if you’re still hungry after all that........... first, I won’t believe it, and second, too bad, should have eaten more. I’m done standing up in here for the next two hours.

So maybe I’ve said it to my own kids, and only when I know they’re eating for boredom and aren’t hungry.

Never to anyone else. Ever ever ever.

[Anonymous]

I think the only foods I close off access to are particular items with a designated purpose. For example, my kids have favorites to take in their packed lunches and I buy enough for the week for each and lay down the law. On a holiday I may be protective of ingredients for planned dishes but I also would plan to have lots of other foods for people to eat when they are hungry.

Also, we have a no more food time at night to facilitate going to bed and get the kids out of the habit of late night snacking but that would never apply to guests.

[Anonymous]

I never close my kitchen, but I have been known to ask my dad to eat now as I don't want to clean the kitchen twice; he lingers over coffee for hours, even when we have whole-group activities planned and are trying to get out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad says this. He means he’s not cooking or washing any more dishes. If you heat up some leftovers, have a snack, or get a drink, you clean up after yourselves.

That’s more like “The cook and cleaning staff is officially off duty.” I have no problem with that—you still have access to food in that scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who closes a kitchen without providing for three square meals is nuts. Providing doesn’t mean cooking.

I’ve used the expression. It doesn’t mean you can’t help yourself. But god help you if you create work for me.

[Anonymous]

I think it is a weird affluent (but not rich) wasp thing.

[Anonymous]

Totally a foreign concept to me and my extended family. I make 3 big meals a day (so did my mom). In between there is snacks, fruit, yogurt whatever if you are hungry. Granted we are not snackers and only started when dd was born and was old enough for a 10am snack and a post nap time snack.
Dh can make himself a sandwich if he didn't have enough lunch if whatever but he cleans up after.
When we have overnight guests I pretty much continuously feed them.
My only rule is that is you eat anything (a snack or a meal) it's on a plate at the table. Not wolfed down over the sink or kitchen counter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a weird affluent (but not rich) wasp thing.

The only person I’ve ever heard use the phrase is middle-class Catholic of Italian decent.

Point being, as a poster said above, it’s not cultural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am interested in knowing whether this is a cultural thing among some white people. We are not white and our families keep feeding and feeding and feeding us and their guests. It would be devestatingly rude for someone to be hungry in their homes.

However, I do tell my own young kids “last call” at dinner time only, because otherwise they suddenly decide they are hungry at bedtime as a stalling technique.

Can we not make this a "cultural" (race) thing? It's clearly a control thing, a "frugality" thing, a food-issues thing, an OCD clean thing. Those dynamics cross all cultures and races and regions and backgrounds, so let's not with that.

I am Indian and I have never ever seen this behavior among my very large circle of family and friends either in India or the US. If anything its the opposite problem, with aunties and grandmas trying to push more food on everyone.