Can you be elegant if you’re not elegant looking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m East Asian and 5’. I don’t think I can be elegant. Thin, cute, pretty, sexy, sure. But elegant, no.

You don’t have to be pretty to be elegant, though. Lots of “handsome” women are elegant.

Margaret Thatcher was elegant.

+1
Tilda Swinton too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

I’m guessing I’m one of the pp that you might be referencing because of my comment on Oprah. But I wasn’t focusing on traditionally Caucasian skinny white chick looks. I think Lupita Nyong’o is naturally elegant and one of the most beautiful actresses I can name.

I guess it boils down to how you carry yourself - shoulders back, chin up. Being a healthy shape for you. Well fit clothing leaning towards conservative (meaning you don’t need to show off your assets to grab attention), regardless of style. An easiness and natural beauty without excessive makeup to get you there. And confidence.

I guess understated and natural beauty with a focus on presentation is always elegant to me.

Let me just guess: despite carrying herself with confidence--shoulders back, chin up--being in healthy shape and well-fit clothing leaning toward conservative (for evening wear), natural beauty without excessive confidence, that you wouldn't consider this woman to be elegant:



Gee, I wonder why.

Not to me. Course, I’d be hard pressed to find any highly athletic woman with a masculine body elegant. Just not capturing the ‘easiness’. I think elegance captures more than just a look but a level of serenity to their demeanor (yes, I recognize the irony).

I don’t understand your ‘gee, I wonder why, comment.

+1
Serena looks incredibly fit, powerful, and lovely. But elegant? Not to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m East Asian and 5’. I don’t think I can be elegant. Thin, cute, pretty, sexy, sure. But elegant, no.

You don’t have to be pretty to be elegant, though. Lots of “handsome” women are elegant.

Margaret Thatcher was elegant.

Ok, but she was 5’5” and white, so...

What's your point? White women aren't allowed to be mentioned in your weird, race-baiting way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

I’m guessing I’m one of the pp that you might be referencing because of my comment on Oprah. But I wasn’t focusing on traditionally Caucasian skinny white chick looks. I think Lupita Nyong’o is naturally elegant and one of the most beautiful actresses I can name.

I guess it boils down to how you carry yourself - shoulders back, chin up. Being a healthy shape for you. Well fit clothing leaning towards conservative (meaning you don’t need to show off your assets to grab attention), regardless of style. An easiness and natural beauty without excessive makeup to get you there. And confidence.

I guess understated and natural beauty with a focus on presentation is always elegant to me.

Let me just guess: despite carrying herself with confidence--shoulders back, chin up--being in healthy shape and well-fit clothing leaning toward conservative (for evening wear), natural beauty without excessive confidence, that you wouldn't consider this woman to be elegant:



Gee, I wonder why.

Not to me. Course, I’d be hard pressed to find any highly athletic woman with a masculine body elegant. Just not capturing the ‘easiness’. I think elegance captures more than just a look but a level of serenity to their demeanor (yes, I recognize the irony).

I don’t understand your ‘gee, I wonder why, comment.

+1
Serena looks incredibly fit, powerful, and lovely. But elegant? Not to me.

The dress in the photo isn’t the best choice for her either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

Wow you need to calm way down. You are the same poster as on the style icon thread looking so hard to take offense. Take your racism elsewhere. You keep derailing threads with your personal insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

True. Travel to Baltimore and visit the Barnes and Noble on Reistertown Road right off 695. In fact that entire shopping center is filled with UC black women who are impeccably groomed and dress. Scarves, short savvy hair styles (usually gray), fantastic light makeup with great lip color and the way they hold their carriage, I'm sorry but I just stare in envy. I could never look that "perfect" and yes, they are perfect, at least in appearance. I might add one other thing, manners. Holding oneself in a certain way and having excellent manners is paramount to looking elegant. Signed .... a thin, rich white woman.

Stop the sock puppeting, race lady. It’s so transparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

True. Travel to Baltimore and visit the Barnes and Noble on Reistertown Road right off 695. In fact that entire shopping center is filled with UC black women who are impeccably groomed and dress. Scarves, short savvy hair styles (usually gray), fantastic light makeup with great lip color and the way they hold their carriage, I'm sorry but I just stare in envy. I could never look that "perfect" and yes, they are perfect, at least in appearance. I might add one other thing, manners. Holding oneself in a certain way and having excellent manners is paramount to looking elegant. Signed .... a thin, rich white woman.

Stop the sock puppeting, race lady. It’s so transparent.

I wrote the "It's funny" comment, but not the one after. Ask Jeff to verify if you like. I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

True. Travel to Baltimore and visit the Barnes and Noble on Reistertown Road right off 695. In fact that entire shopping center is filled with UC black women who are impeccably groomed and dress. Scarves, short savvy hair styles (usually gray), fantastic light makeup with great lip color and the way they hold their carriage, I'm sorry but I just stare in envy. I could never look that "perfect" and yes, they are perfect, at least in appearance. I might add one other thing, manners. Holding oneself in a certain way and having excellent manners is paramount to looking elegant. Signed .... a thin, rich white woman.

Stop the sock puppeting, race lady. It’s so transparent.

NP
It live in Baltimore and the description above is vastly exaggerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what comes to mind when you think of elegance.

The following:










It seems that it requires long thin limbs, tall and skinny body, long neck and a well proportioned balanced nose.

What if you just don’t have the stuff?

What if you look like:



Can you still look elegant? How?

What if your short? Have a short neck and poor bone structure?!

I’m curious as to why one would want to try so hard to look elegant? Looking elegant is effortless so it’s impossible to try hard and achieve. Also, you’re not going to make friends with your elegance. At least you’d get more male attention if you made an effort to look pretty instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

All the boobs and all the elegance brought to you by Aishwarya Rai at Cannes...

Nope not in this dress or pic

[Anonymous]

This is just my opinion. Elegance is universally perceived. We can't debate elegance. You either are or not, it's not in the same category as pretty, beautiful, hot, sexy which are very much in the eye of the beholder.

Love the elegance of these vastly different bodies/faces/ages with one thing in common...graceful!

Angela Bassett
Helen Mirren
Zhang Ziyi
Viola Davis
Kate Winslet
Alfre Woodard
Linan Chen
Constance Wu
Halle Berry
Kristin Davis
Naomi Watts
Penelope Cruz
Grace Kelly

Outliers for some, not for me.
Sophia Lauren
Diana Ross
Alicia Keys
Amal Clooney

Just for fun (yum for me)
Blair Underwood
Gerard Butler
Cristiano Rinaldo

Drum roll...Luther Vandross (thick version) was my all time crush. Considered naming my son Luther. Don't care that he was gay. I would have had at it anyway.

I'm an Italian American, elegant woman btw.





Wish I could successfully post pics, despite following instrux.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

All the boobs and all the elegance brought to you by Aishwarya Rai at Cannes...

Nope not in this dress or pic

I know patterns, colors and bodies are scary to you. I know they are. But some of us don't just think elegance means another hungry-looking woman in a boring shift dress and pearls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

All the boobs and all the elegance brought to you by Aishwarya Rai at Cannes...

Nope not in this dress or pic

I know patterns, colors and bodies are scary to you. I know they are. But some of us don't just think elegance means another hungry-looking woman in a boring shift dress and pearls.

Not at all! I'm the poster with the long list above. It's not so much about the pattern, it's more about the style. It doesn't elongate her body. If I were to design it for her in the same pattern (I have some experience), the neck would be mock neck halter, open back, lose the train, less dramatic puddle hem, hair up, way less makeup which conflicts with vibrant colored dress. She's lovely, her body is a non factor.

[Anonymous]

Misty Copeland
Lena Horne
Diahann Carroll

[Anonymous]

Eartha Kitt
Cicely Tyson
Dorothy Dandridge