Can you be elegant if you’re not elegant looking?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

True. Travel to Baltimore and visit the Barnes and Noble on Reistertown Road right off 695. In fact that entire shopping center is filled with UC black women who are impeccably groomed and dress. Scarves, short savvy hair styles (usually gray), fantastic light makeup with great lip color and the way they hold their carriage, I'm sorry but I just stare in envy. I could never look that "perfect" and yes, they are perfect, at least in appearance. I might add one other thing, manners. Holding oneself in a certain way and having excellent manners is paramount to looking elegant. Signed .... a thin, rich white woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you can be elegant without being tall and thin! Think Martha Stewart or the Barefoot Contessa. I would absolutely consider both of them elegant, even though they're often dressed relatively casually. Good haircuts, simple makeup, tailored clothes.

They both have good bone structure.

No, Barefoot Contessa is NOT elegant. Martha Stewart, I would say it's her soft voice and the way she delivers her speech that gives her an elegant air.

[Anonymous]

Elegance is about poise, posture, a quiet confidence, gentle nature, and graciousness. A walk that seems to float across the floor. Never clumsy, nervous, or awkward. Grooming is important, thin/white is not.

It's much easier for elderly women to be elegant. Young women can, but it's not as common. More often, people develop elegance as they age.

[Anonymous]

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There’s nothing - nothing - elegant about excessive cleavage.

+ 1

Put those things away. She looks like a cow.

Omg seriously? Only in DC someone would call
Monica Belucci a “cow”. Wow.

I wouldn’t call her elegant

I thought she was that actress from 90210. She's very elegant looking whomever this is but her cleavage is a bit much in this shot.

+1 dressing in an overtly sexual way is not elegant. Elegance is more refined and understated.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

There’s nothing - nothing - elegant about excessive cleavage.

+ 1

Put those things away. She looks like a cow.

Omg seriously? Only in DC someone would call
Monica Belucci a “cow”. Wow.

That's Monica Belucci?? I thought it was Shannen Doherty. I do think Monica Belucci is extraordinarily beautiful, but this doesn't even look like her.
-DP

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't think the women on the bottom is ugly at all. It just isn't a great picture. She has on a pretty blouse and what looks to be a structured wool coat. The scarf is a poorly worn. If she lost the scarf, put on a swipe of lipstick, and fastened her coat I think she would look lovely.

This is her cleaned up, pretty! It's all about grooming

Sorry but she still does not look elegant at all. Cleaned up, but not elegant.

Agreed. An elegant outfit would never have bowling shoes with a dress.

Are you the same people over in the Jeff Bezos thread complaining about his new partner not being pretty in the way you'd hoped for?

My advice to the tut tutters here and elsewhere is to go do something fun today. Eat a donut. Take a walk outside. Have sex. Do something pleasurable.

I'm not a fan of Lena, but I actually think she looks elegant in the top picture. Nice, classic hairstyle, simple makeup, tailored outfit. She also looked really nice in that pic on the first page of this thread. Slightly preppy outfit, good colors, etc.

The green dress pic shows why she is NOT elegant. The tattoos. The dress doesn't fit great. The pink and green clash rather than contrast. In her case, it's more her personality than her looks that make her unelegant. But overall, I think elegance means knowing when to keep a look simple.

DP. I totally agree. I am NO fan of Lena Dunham, but agree about the top picture being very pretty/elegant. When you can see someone's tattoos, as in the bottom picture, they no longer look elegant.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think you can be elegant even if you aren't stick thin.

Its easier to pull off when you are tall and thin, since clothes look better on tall and thin people, but its possible for even average-sized people. I do think that very overweight people have a much harder time pulling off elegance.

It requires very classy, well made and PERFECTLY fitting clothes, very well-groomed, classically styled hair that is healthy and glossy, well-applied, not overdone makeup, basically perfect skin, and perfectly straight, white teeth. Quite a tall order for most people!

Oprah, basically.

Is that a joke?

-NP

DP. Not a huge fan of Oprah, but she does look gorgeous in this dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wonder on DCUM if this is the same crowd who only thinks Jackie O and Princess Kelly are elegant while shopping at old navy?

You can buy lots of simple basics on a budget at places like Old Navy that translate into "elegant" if chosen carefully. It's not that hard to look elegant. Simple and classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you can be elegant without being tall and thin! Think Martha Stewart or the Barefoot Contessa. I would absolutely consider both of them elegant, even though they're often dressed relatively casually. Good haircuts, simple makeup, tailored clothes.

+1
Good examples. Both of those women are elegant and both wear well-tailored, simple, classic clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

I feel sad for you. You've fallen into the trap that elegant = white, thin, rich. Chase those dragons. The rest of us have evolved.

DP. No one on this thread has said "white, thin, and rich" = elegant. On the contrary, you (or a few of you) keep getting defensive whenever a white woman is mentioned as an example of elegance. Is *everything* about race to you? Yes, of course Salma Hayek is elegant. As is Octavia Spencer and Oprah (at times). But so is Kate Middleton, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy. Elegance isn't about race, so stop trying to pretend it is.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And too much boob. Not elegant.

Keep blowing that dog whistle of yours. Elegant means white and rail thin, we got it.

Not the PP, but where did PP mention race?? She said "too much boob". I agree.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can tell that, for some people, "elegance" is really just another code word.

Yep!

I’m guessing I’m one of the pp that you might be referencing because of my comment on Oprah. But I wasn’t focusing on traditionally Caucasian skinny white chick looks. I think Lupita Nyong’o is naturally elegant and one of the most beautiful actresses I can name.

I guess it boils down to how you carry yourself - shoulders back, chin up. Being a healthy shape for you. Well fit clothing leaning towards conservative (meaning you don’t need to show off your assets to grab attention), regardless of style. An easiness and natural beauty without excessive makeup to get you there. And confidence.

I guess understated and natural beauty with a focus on presentation is always elegant to me.

Let me just guess: despite carrying herself with confidence--shoulders back, chin up--being in healthy shape and well-fit clothing leaning toward conservative (for evening wear), natural beauty without excessive confidence, that you wouldn't consider this woman to be elegant:



Gee, I wonder why.

Not the PP, but no - I wouldn't consider her elegant. Nor would I consider this woman elegant:



So can you get rid of that racial chip on your shoulder? It's really unbecoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd never really thought about it before, but it's true I associate elegance with a combination of slenderness, poise, and polish. Gemma Chan and Ruth Negga are two examples that come to mind now. I'm having trouble thinking of any white women I think of as elegant. I would describe Martha Stewart and Ina Garten, examples cited above, as polished rather than elegant per se. Not always stick-thin though-- Diahann Carroll is extremely elegant.

In general though, I guess I've been socialized to think of elegance tied to a certain body type. Maybe because it's easier for skinny women to wear almost any cut of clothing?

Totally agree with Gemma Chan and Ruth Negga. I also think of Helen Mirren as elegant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

+1,000,000
The most elegant women come in all races and don't need flashy ballgowns. Their utter simplicity is their elegance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP- Because someone doesn't consider Oprah or Serena Williams "elegant" doesn't make them racist. Stop it. Oprah looks like a disaster often and Serena Williams has a masculine physique and poor clothing taste- and that dress doesn't fit her well ether. Wearing a ball gown doesn't make you elegant, and neither does skin color. There are elegant women of all colors and we all have different taste in what the criteria is- but no one here has said "white" is one of them. Please stop accusing total strangers that disagree with you about beauty and elegance that their opinion is racist.

It's funny how the only examples they can come up with are white/thin women. As if white/thin women are the only people who can be elegant, or present themselves with elegance. I'm tired of the "elegance" obsession on this forum. "Elegance" and "classy" ... the bywords for DCUM posters. I think Kate Middleton is lovely, but I'm tired of thin white women being held up as elegant, and any woman daring to have boobs is written off and told to cover up.

I'm not OP but in her original post there is a non white woman- so what are you talking about? There are also several other examples people have cited in the thread of non white women that many are agreeing on. Stop race baiting

Exactly. Some people are just itching to fight. Ridiculous. I can think Kate Middleton and Audrey Hepburn are just as elegant as Kerry Washington and Gemma Chan. Their races are irrelevant.