This is what class rage feels like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m feeling “rage” towards all the posts about working hard if you want to be rich. Hard work is only one part of the equation. Race, gender, mental illness, country of origin etc are also very important.

Sure. But this particular author had all sorts of choices - and she chose a (generally) low-paying degree and then a (generally) low paying career. She's not some bipolar Somali refugee who was dealt a bleak hand in life. She a white girl why always was nervous about money, but who then chose a career that doesn't pay, and still is nervous about money, and mad at people who have money and don't tell her about it.

Absolutely agree with you. She had choices and chose to go into a low paying profession and now complains that others are financially better off than her. She should have spoken to any Asian or middle eastern immigrant family for career counseling. They push their kids to become physicians and if they are not smart/ambitious enough dentists and pharmacists. Why? Not because pulling teeth and pushing drugs is so personally gratifying, but because of the $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are certain careers that make money and certain ones that require a separate income. It’s not that hard to figure out if you give it some thought. Being middle class in the arts in NYC = getting poor. Very poor. There’s always the exception but. Getting mad because you made that choice. That’s just “why am I not a super model/ NBA star?” Indulgent talk.

It's not about indulgence. It's about getting things back in perspective. Right now, we have the biggest wealth inequality since the Gilded Age. I grew up in NYC. I don't recognize the city anymore as a place where immigrant parents like my own could work, raise a family, and grow old. The middle class is fleeing the city.

Goodbye, New York City... you belong to the top 1% and the bottom 1% now.

Yes.
I think Anthony Bourdain did a show on that before his death.

No one has the right to live comfortably in NYC. There are many much more affordable cities in the US. Heck, Philadelphia is only two hours away and offers a lot of big city amenities at a much lower cost of living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand, if you didn’t grow up at least exposed to rich kids you might not know how the game is played. You may not realize that everyone around you is getting help until it’s too late - you spent the money on grad school, picked a career, etc. Then you find out that everyone else has been getting help all along it must feel like a sucker punch.

This is the truth. I don't have problems with any class rage, there are many ways to live a happy and fulfilled life without tons of money, but the above is still true.

I didn't really figure this out until I was getting ready to write up my doctoral dissertation and one of my classmates was like "Yeah, it's so distracting here. I'm just going to go live in my parents' beach house for six or nine months while I write up my research" and I was like "But how can you still work as a Teaching Assistant then? How will you pay your rent? Get health insurance?" It never really occurred to me that there were people in their mid to late 20's who had the option of living rent free in their parent's "extra houses", or that their parents were clearly paying for their health insurance and living expenses so that they could afford to walk away from a Teaching Assistant or Research Assistant job.

I honestly didn't know that only wealthy people were supposed to get to be professors and that most of these wealthy people had parents who already were professors who paved the way for them. I thought that getting into a top program with a stipend and high GRE's meant that I too was supposed to be there. Today, I'm assuming that a lot of these perpetual students and perpetual adjuncts are being bank rolled by their wealthy parents.
I have a child who is currently on a prestigious fellowship (think Rhodes, Fulbright, etc.) and it never occurred to us that other parents were going to supplement the student stipend these fellowships come with, but she talks about how she stays in the town where she is based on weekends while other "scholarship recipients" (LOL) are traveling all over the world literally! The rich get richer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all make choices in life that greatly affects the long term outcome. If you are going into the artistic fields in New York without family money, you have to be prepared to pay the price for that. If you want to live in a high cost area like DC and complain about not being able to afford a crappy rambler in Bethesda, then that's a choice you made by deciding to live in DC instead of a cheaper city elsewhere.

I've noticed that most of "class rage" is actually anger at oneself for making decisions that didn't pan out in the long run and for being in denial about it for a long time. I knew plenty of people who moved to NY or SF after college, but they only did it for a few years. They got married, and moved to the second tier cities and now live comfortable and happy and contented lives because they were bright enough to know the high cost of living in New York or California wasn't going to be worth it and would require too much sacrifice if you weren't pulling in at least 500k a year HHI and that quite often you have a better life on 200k in a provincial city than 500k in Manhattan. They were smart enough to realize that and left while the going was still good instead of hanging on desperately to end up the last person left at the party.

Victim blaming much ?

[Anonymous]

Does the author have to be either right or wrong? Isn't it interesting how many people are triggered--either because the author seems "entitled", because the author had the audacity to pursue an occupation for rich trust fund babies, because they feel defensive about their own unearned wealth or defensive because they earned their wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all make choices in life that greatly affects the long term outcome. If you are going into the artistic fields in New York without family money, you have to be prepared to pay the price for that. If you want to live in a high cost area like DC and complain about not being able to afford a crappy rambler in Bethesda, then that's a choice you made by deciding to live in DC instead of a cheaper city elsewhere.

I've noticed that most of "class rage" is actually anger at oneself for making decisions that didn't pan out in the long run and for being in denial about it for a long time. I knew plenty of people who moved to NY or SF after college, but they only did it for a few years. They got married, and moved to the second tier cities and now live comfortable and happy and contented lives because they were bright enough to know the high cost of living in New York or California wasn't going to be worth it and would require too much sacrifice if you weren't pulling in at least 500k a year HHI and that quite often you have a better life on 200k in a provincial city than 500k in Manhattan. They were smart enough to realize that and left while the going was still good instead of hanging on desperately to end up the last person left at the party.

Victim blaming much ?

LOL. She is only a victim of her idiotic choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand, if you didn’t grow up at least exposed to rich kids you might not know how the game is played. You may not realize that everyone around you is getting help until it’s too late - you spent the money on grad school, picked a career, etc. Then you find out that everyone else has been getting help all along it must feel like a sucker punch.

This is the truth. I don't have problems with any class rage, there are many ways to live a happy and fulfilled life without tons of money, but the above is still true.

I didn't really figure this out until I was getting ready to write up my doctoral dissertation and one of my classmates was like "Yeah, it's so distracting here. I'm just going to go live in my parents' beach house for six or nine months while I write up my research" and I was like "But how can you still work as a Teaching Assistant then? How will you pay your rent? Get health insurance?" It never really occurred to me that there were people in their mid to late 20's who had the option of living rent free in their parent's "extra houses", or that their parents were clearly paying for their health insurance and living expenses so that they could afford to walk away from a Teaching Assistant or Research Assistant job.

I honestly didn't know that only wealthy people were supposed to get to be professors and that most of these wealthy people had parents who already were professors who paved the way for them. I thought that getting into a top program with a stipend and high GRE's meant that I too was supposed to be there. Today, I'm assuming that a lot of these perpetual students and perpetual adjuncts are being bank rolled by their wealthy parents.
I have a child who is currently on a prestigious fellowship (think Rhodes, Fulbright, etc.) and it never occurred to us that other parents were going to supplement the student stipend these fellowships come with, but she talks about how she stays in the town where she is based on weekends while other "scholarship recipients" (LOL) are traveling all over the world literally! The rich get richer.

But even if you don’t realize certain jobs are for rich kids, don’t you figure it out pretty quickly when you look at average comp for a job v what it costs to live in a particular city? I mean, I didn’t realize that so many people had down payment help or $150k from their parents for their weddings, but when I was buying a house and planning my wedding, the budget was pretty important. And when I was picking a career to pursue, managing an art gallery was out since it paid $10/hour and I would be living in NYC.

[Anonymous]

I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the author have to be either right or wrong? Isn't it interesting how many people are triggered--either because the author seems "entitled", because the author had the audacity to pursue an occupation for rich trust fund babies, because they feel defensive about their own unearned wealth or defensive because they earned their wealth.

The more we little people bicker and get defensive, the better off the real beneficiaries of the system will be. As long as we are focused on individuals and their "choices" we cannot ask for systemic change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing. This woman is bright enough to have gone the management track at a random company and be making 80-100k in Columbus or Phoenix or Denver as a project manager or senior admin and if she’d married someone similar, that’s 160- 200k HHI right there. She could have done it. Boring job but she’d have financial security and a comfortable life.

But she chose to be in the “creative” industry in NYC of all places. Her decisions. And she’s complaining?

And pretty sure she can still do that now. Economy is booming and companies (esp those not in NYC/DC/major metro areas) are having a hard time hiring. She can get hired into an "analyst" role at some company in Ohio or Atlanta or wherever at 40-50k. She can then work her way up to that 80k as a project manager/senior admin. In 5 years she can be making 80k-100k in a lower COL city. She is just choosing not to bc I'm sure she's one of these people who can't leave NYC or the arts and it's easier to just whine about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing. This woman is bright enough to have gone the management track at a random company and be making 80-100k in Columbus or Phoenix or Denver as a project manager or senior admin and if she’d married someone similar, that’s 160- 200k HHI right there. She could have done it. Boring job but she’d have financial security and a comfortable life.

But she chose to be in the “creative” industry in NYC of all places. Her decisions. And she’s complaining?

And pretty sure she can still do that now. Economy is booming and companies (esp those not in NYC/DC/major metro areas) are having a hard time hiring. She can get hired into an "analyst" role at some company in Ohio or Atlanta or wherever at 40-50k. She can then work her way up to that 80k as a project manager/senior admin. In 5 years she can be making 80k-100k in a lower COL city. She is just choosing not to bc I'm sure she's one of these people who can't leave NYC or the arts and it's easier to just whine about it.

Seriously. Just looked at a COL calculator -- in order to live the equivalent of a 40k lifestyle in Columbus Ohio, you'd need to be making 100k in Manhattan, which we're fairly sure she isn't in the art world. Yet heaven forbid she move on and just try to lock down a regular office job in a smaller market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the author have to be either right or wrong? Isn't it interesting how many people are triggered--either because the author seems "entitled", because the author had the audacity to pursue an occupation for rich trust fund babies, because they feel defensive about their own unearned wealth or defensive because they earned their wealth.

The more we little people bicker and get defensive, the better off the real beneficiaries of the system will be. As long as we are focused on individuals and their "choices" we cannot ask for systemic change.[/quote
Yes!!!

[Anonymous]

The author needs therapy - big time. She is ruining her life. It is a fact that there is always someone who has more money than you (except for the one richest person on Earth). That means that we could all sit around and burn with envy, but is a selfish, ungrateful and unhappy way to live. Lots of (most) people are working in jobs that aren't interesting to them, living in neighborhoods or cities that are not their favorite. She is making sacrifices to work and live where she wants to, in one of the most expensive cities in the world. But she should then own it. It is no one else's problem that she lives hand-to-mouth. Again, she needs therapy to salvage the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is ridiculous. I didn’t grow up with money. But I knew I wanted a certain lifestyle. So I went in to a high paying field. And made a good salary and met my spouse who was in a similar high paying field. I didn’t follow my dream or passion. I did what would yield the most $. People make different choices. Some are born lucky. Some make a ton of money being in the right place at the right time. Some people work really really hard. I am happy to pay my taxes and support a strong safety net. But her class rage is totally ridiculous.

I think it’s great you were fortunate enough to be aware of what would make a lot of money and what wouldn’t. I shared your dreams and had no idea my field would be among the lower paying. I thought everyone is corporate America made good money. Turns out only certain departments make the big bucks. I was also told i wouldn’t need a masters degree to advance and guess what? 7 years later, All leadership positions require a masters degree.

I work really hard with little yield and thought I was doing what I needed to do, but I’ve crrtainly learned what to teach my kids.

This is a cop-out. College career centers have lots of specific information on salaries, and if you were obtuse in college but now see people being promoted around you, you start taking night classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what class warfare is- little people sniping at each other over who has more.

The system is broken. People will adapt and take advantage of a broken system, but the problem is not the people, it is still the system.

What do you mean by this? The "system" is allowing more people to eat more food, to have work-saving luxuries and to receive education than ever before in history. The results are unequal, but even the poor in the United States are wealthy in most parts of the world. Why do the results have to be equal?