What screams *INSECURE FRUMP* to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Really, fisherman sweaters are frumpy? I think they are cute casual. Check out this girl. You think this is frumpy?

No, I said big, baggy sweaters are very hard to pull off. Fisherman in particular. That one is obviously shrunken.

And incidentally, also said I like them in theory: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mzlZsycNfiY/UiT7deKLPnI/AAAAAAABCIY/K17hFLQKPFk/s1600/23.+marina+rust+maine+cable+knit+sweater.jpg Problem is this would look ridiculous on the typical average build.

I have a fisherman's sweater that I bought in Ireland . . . it is gorgeous, but thick/huge! I'll admit, I only wear it when I am at my thinnest (and DC at its coldest) otherwise I've put on 20 lbs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having read through this entire post I can see plainly now that I am most definitely a frump. And furthermore, that I in fact enjoy and intend to continue on in my frumptitude. Who the fuck cares? I have 3 kids, a loving husband, and I'm 45. I really don't care that much. I want to wear what I want to wear. I'm old enough to have lived through the early days of Prince and Madonna, Pretty in Pink, Julia Robert's first film, grunge, the rebirth of 80's dance/rock, Bollywood, ....and at this point, it's really all been done. Who the hell cares enough to publicly judge another woman for not valuing her appearance enough to really put serious coins into it????? Clothes are fun, but they're just clothes. At least now I am aware that when I wear capris that I am hideously unattractive. Ha! The irony is that I actually think I look good in capris!!! So the joke's on me. Seriously, as women age, we really don't need to continue to be "on trend" unless we're in the fashion industry, right???? Isn't that the beauty of aging??? Don't we ever get to graduate from high school or are we really consigned to a lifetime of servitude to arbitrary rules of fashion and "on tend" bs?

The frump doth protest too much

+11111!!

[Anonymous]

I'm probably a frump. I'm an academic and I work from home alot.
But I just bought these amazing pants that feel like yoga pants but somehow make me actually look and feel attractive. I've never recommended a product before but I can't shut up about these pants!
https://www.dressbarn.com/pants/secret-agent-pants

I, for one, would appreciate similar tips from other frumpy middle-aged women. Is there anything that you love that is affordable that makes you feel great?

I have discovered that with these pants, a decent pair of heels and a designer handbag I can at least pass for human, for which I am grateful. I'm also losing weight, so soon, who knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you could carry a Burberry backpack but only if you are 25 and younger

Thanks for letting us know. Should I refinance and what about bayalage for over 45?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen a few complaints about jewelry. Drop earrings and the like. Can someone point me in the direction of non-frumpy non-insecure jewelry? In a few different price ranges?

I agree with a lot of you all and realize I many need to reevaluate my jewelry.

If it has brightly colored beads or strange whimsical shapes, it's gotta go. Get some diamond or gold studs. Really.

You are extremely uptight.

These women look gorgeous with their "non-stud" earrings and "whimsical" jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen a few complaints about jewelry. Drop earrings and the like. Can someone point me in the direction of non-frumpy non-insecure jewelry? In a few different price ranges?

I agree with a lot of you all and realize I many need to reevaluate my jewelry.

Look at Sundance for starters. These are my taste, but I am sure you can find some that suit you. General rule: the busier the earring, the simpler the outfit, meaning solid colors, crisp white shirts, navy or black crewneck sweaters looks best with unusual earrings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen a few complaints about jewelry. Drop earrings and the like. Can someone point me in the direction of non-frumpy non-insecure jewelry? In a few different price ranges?

I agree with a lot of you all and realize I many need to reevaluate my jewelry.

If it has brightly colored beads or strange whimsical shapes, it's gotta go. Get some diamond or gold studs. Really.

You are extremely uptight.

These women look gorgeous with their "non-stud" earrings and "whimsical" jewelry.

Yeah but that ain't you. The goofy plastic stuff yall are attempting to rock does not look like this.

[Anonymous]

OMG!!! I take back all of the negative comments about farmer's market drop earrings! I didn't know that Jennifer Anniston was posting the defensive comments! Welcome to DCUM Jen! Your husband is so hot!!!

[Anonymous]

in "frumpy's" defense the current BOHo trends are really hard to pull off. You have to be really thin and have either a strong ethnic or fairy look about you. Most 30 and 40 something women do not. We need clean lines, good tailoring and heavier weight fabric to look put together. In fact, most of the college aged kids I've seen have a hard time pulling off that look.

Good rule of thumb for grown women, wear REAL jewelry, even if it's just a pair of silver hoops or simple studs. if you can't afford real jewelry, just keep it simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in "frumpy's" defense the current BOHo trends are really hard to pull off. You have to be really thin and have either a strong ethnic or fairy look about you. Most 30 and 40 something women do not. We need clean lines, good tailoring and heavier weight fabric to look put together. In fact, most of the college aged kids I've seen have a hard time pulling off that look.

Good rule of thumb for grown women, wear REAL jewelry, even if it's just a pair of silver hoops or simple studs. if you can't afford real jewelry, just keep it simple.

I think if you are not a creative person in general, I agree with your advice.

But some of us work in creative fields where women dress a little more daringly and wear their hair and jewelry a little more out of the ordinary. So we would look weird and uptight following your standards.

For me, and I think for some other women, my clothing and hair and jewelry are just another expression of my style and creativity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frumpy people are pretty secure, hence the frumpiness/dressing for comfort.

Yes, I'm a total frump because I am happy with who I am and with how comfortable my clothing is. And I know some gorgeous people who spend a lot of time on their looks who do it because they're highly insecure. I don't think frumpiness is an adequate measure of a person's confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frumpy people are pretty secure, hence the frumpiness/dressing for comfort.

Yes, I'm a total frump because I am happy with who I am and with how comfortable my clothing is. And I know some gorgeous people who spend a lot of time on their looks who do it because they're highly insecure. I don't think frumpiness is an adequate measure of a person's confidence.

So, in your world, only the frumpy are Confident? All the non frumpy are insecure? Everyone who has ever gotten their hair done is insecure?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stupid thread. Frumpy is not usually associated with insecure.

+1. I'm not in favor of people going out in public in their workout gear unless they are working out, but those would be frumps. Insecure people would be the women carrying handbags with logos on them, Tory Burch shoes, crazy amounts of makeup, and an unfriendly demeanor.

You must not live close-in.

There are 4 Pilates studios, an orangetheory, revolve spinning, 4 yoga studios, two major gym chains, cross fit, a rowing boutique gym...all within a 4 block radius of my house. Everyone is walking around in workout gear. Usually--you pop into Whole Foods, Traders or South block juice shop after a workout.

If you workout everyday--it's common. We are very active and take kids to parks and fields and it would be idiotic to shower and dress up as opposed to going there in active wear. Sidelines of kids sporting events also have lots of gym/active wear.

I WAH so it saves time to save my shower for end of day. If I WOH -yea wouldn't stay in gym gear. No plans to impress some SAH yentas...

Rather keep a tight, fit body than worry about somebody catching me in workout gear.

I live right in Dupont. I workout. I get dressed in my workout clothes, go workout, and then, get this: go home and shower because it's gross not to. It's not idiotic to get dressed like a normal person when you leave the house (pants, shirts, casual is fine, doesn't have to be business dress). I do it every day. I refuse to be a slob. Just because you overpaid for your tights doesn't mean they aren't pajamas/workout clothes.

+1 if I'm not going to shower at home I shower at the gym. Spending the day in workout clothes after working out is foul.

I always wonder about this too. I swim at Wilson pool and workout at home, so I never wear "athleisure" outside of the home. Are all these women I see at Whole Foods with their sweaty hair and workout clothes on all rank and stinky? Are they gonna stay that way all day? Or are they just "rocking" that look and just happen to have sweaty hair?

Sometimes I go to the grocery store after the gym. Then I go home and shower, and get on with my day.

The gym is 1/2 block to Whole Foods which is one block to my house. I pop in for my salad and whatever groceries I need and then walk home. WTF would I walk home shower and then walk back to WFs? I WAH full-time so it maximizes my time. I often throw on dry workout clothes and then shower after the kids come home from school to save time to get my work hours in. OR---if it is 97 degrees (like this week) and I have to stand outside at a 90 minute soccer practice I am showering when I come home from that.

Everyone in my neighborhood does this. Everyone walks home from the million exercise studios---so they will stop off at Traders or Whole Foods or Starbucks on their way back home. Most often, people bring a dry shirt, or in winter you have a big coat on over it. It's the norm.

We are not talking about people who run a quick errand after the gym. We are talking about the majority of women I see walking around dupont who are in their workout clothes all day. Most actually look like they haven't nor plan to workout that day. It's weird dining somewhere sitting next to slobs who haven't bothered to get dressed for the day. Seriously, you eat at Le Diplomat in your tights? I'm a SAH and I don't even understand SAHMs who dress like that all day. Put on some damn pants for the park, you're plenty capable of running and climbing around in normal clothes at the park. My favorite is women who wear their tights with their huge diamonds. Looks so ridiculous to be prancing around in your underwear with fancy jewelry and full makeup. It takes zero more effort to put on street clothes as opposed to workout clothes and makes you look like you don't aspire to be a couch potato.

I think this "athleisure" (thanks PP) is hitting the nail on the head with "insecure frump." Insecure enough to spend up $100 on spandex leggings yet frumpy enough to hang around all day in workout clothes... even swapping out dry workout clothes for damp workout clothes.

To think we have hit the state in our society when we actually think putting on jeans is dressing up!

Hit on ALL of the time. I dress up when I go out and look nice when I fly. I have never showed up to the Office without makeup, blowout and heels. Trust me- I look better than you even in my yoga pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frumpy people are pretty secure, hence the frumpiness/dressing for comfort.

Yes, I'm a total frump because I am happy with who I am and with how comfortable my clothing is. And I know some gorgeous people who spend a lot of time on their looks who do it because they're highly insecure. I don't think frumpiness is an adequate measure of a person's confidence.

So, in your world, only the frumpy are Confident? All the non frumpy are insecure? Everyone who has ever gotten their hair done is insecure?

Don't be daft.

[Anonymous]

You anti-frumps cannot even get together on a single definition of frumpiness. For some of you it simply means comfortable clothing. For others it means greasy hair. This whole discussion is meaningless.

Worry about yourselves and leave others alone to dress as they please. Petty nitwits.