That Brock Allen Turner is a dirtbag

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

She was raped at 10am on metro. I think you are talking about something else.

Am aware person would have switched cars upon noticing they were on a train alone with one other person, regardless of the hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

This makes about as much sense as requiring women to wear burqas. By this logic, one should never leave the house, or even their bed, because of all the dangers out there.

I was raped at a college party. I had one drink, which turned out to be grain alcohol - something I'd never heard of at the time. Unfortunately, I did not black out; I simply couldn't move. The rapist removed one leg of my pants and one leg of the tights I was wearing underneath them. That took some very deliberate effort, yet you'd put the focus on MY actions.

I don't even have words to describe how this line of thinking disgusts me.

I'm truly sorry for your pain and what you went through. These comments aren't about blaming the victim. It's about trying to be as safe as possible. Are you disgusted when abused women are advised to go to a safety house and not tell anyone where they're living? It's what is viewed as taking safety precautions for them and their children. Is it fair? Is it right? Why should the wife and kids leave? It's about safety.

You're equating spousal abuse to attending a college party?

Because there would be no rapists at all if women just took better care of themselves. Maybe carry a card in our wallets reminding us that every man we meet is a potential violator, so take precaution.

Not to mention that the PP has her/his head up their ass if they think we aren't also a domestic-violence-victim-blaming society. It's a joke. Yes, PP, we as a society do in fact blame victims of domestic violence. To take your analogy to its conclusion, just so you GET IT, if a victim is "advised" to uproot their life and go live in secret with a bunch of strangers, thereby elevating her risk of future violence, yes, we blame the shit out of her if she doesn't actually do it. But go read the newspaper and see how many murder-suicides there are of women and kids by men AFTER they left and tell me how that safety talk goes. It's more complicated than that and your oversimplification is just as dangerous as all the others on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

+1 I was walking in an area at night that I *knew* I shouldn't have but wasn't thinking. I got mugged at knife point. Thank god that's all that happened. I was stupid, but I didn't deserve to be mugged. No woman deserves to be raped. Plain and simple.

In college, I remember being told to not walk around at night by myself on campus, or at least, stay in brightly lit areas. If something were to have happened to me, I wouldn't say that I deserved it. But, there are things that we can avoid doing to reduce our chances of being victims of crimes. Yes, I know, sometimes, you can take all the precautions in the world and still end up being a victim. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

I was never really clear where her sister went. I do know that I do blame my friends. Maybe that's not fair of me to do and I should only blame the guy. But in my head - its not that simple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, this already went to trial. It has already been determined, though evidence we don't know about, haven't seen or heard of, that this was RAPE. It wasn't "kind of" determined to be rape, but unanimously decided by 12 people. As she writes in her statement, 36 out of 36 possible votes that this scumbag is guilty.

You can speculate as to what happened that night, but we weren't there and we weren't in the jury. The jury determined this guy committed a felony. The injustice here is the sentence.

No, he was charged with rapeand, which was dropped, convicted of assault with intent to commit rape of an intoxicated or unconscious person, sexual penetration of an intoxicated person and sexual penetration of an unconscious person.

The jury thought it was a hookup that went badly.

No, more likely the jury didn't think non-PIV sex could constitute rape. But it can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

Actually, she said BECAUSE SHE WAS UNCONCIOUS. Yes, had her boyfriend had sex with her when she was passed out, THAT WOULD
BE RAPE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

I was never really clear where her sister went. I do know that I do blame my friends. Maybe that's not fair of me to do and I should only blame the guy. But in my head - its not that simple

Victim here and I don't blame my friends. In a different situation I might, but we had all split up so no one knew I was alone. Also, my rapist was someone we knew so they wouldn't have had reason to believe he was going to be a psycho. Nor did I.

[Anonymous]

This case is disgusting to me, in pretty much every way.

The survivor has shared her perspective. Read the entire impact statement if you are interested in her insight. It is not "regret" speaking but sexual trauma.

But he didn't do that. This is a situation where the victim was not able to give consent. The assault was broken up by TWO witnesses unknown to either the victim or the perpetrator. A rape kit was done. This isn't a case of he said/she said, and the jury agreed with that assessment. This man was found guilty of three felony charges, which he still denies. If he had been found guilty of those charges and, at his sentencing hearing, he had spoken about his remorse and admitted responsibility for his actions, I would be a lot more sympathetic to the impact on his life.

As for the people saying that we should teach our children about safety, I completely agree. I think that what we should be focusing on in this situation, if we are teaching our children about safety, is that two strangers stopped to investigate something that seemed off to them. We should be teaching our children that, in addition to paying attention to their own safety, if they are concerned that someone is being hurt, they should stop and investigate, or call 911, or both, rather than just walking by.

If you see something, say something, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

I was never really clear where her sister went. I do know that I do blame my friends. Maybe that's not fair of me to do and I should only blame the guy. But in my head - its not that simple

Victim here and I don't blame my friends. In a different situation I might, but we had all split up so no one knew I was alone. Also, my rapist was someone we knew so they wouldn't have had reason to believe he was going to be a psycho. Nor did I.

my friends just left without telling me - who knows we were all so drunk. maybe they thought I had already left. I think I had gone to the restroom and when I came out they were gone. Yes I knew the guy too - which is why I approached him upon finding myself alone at the party. Sigh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This case is disgusting to me, in pretty much every way.

The survivor has shared her perspective. Read the entire impact statement if you are interested in her insight. It is not "regret" speaking but sexual trauma.

But he didn't do that. This is a situation where the victim was not able to give consent. The assault was broken up by TWO witnesses unknown to either the victim or the perpetrator. A rape kit was done. This isn't a case of he said/she said, and the jury agreed with that assessment. This man was found guilty of three felony charges, which he still denies. If he had been found guilty of those charges and, at his sentencing hearing, he had spoken about his remorse and admitted responsibility for his actions, I would be a lot more sympathetic to the impact on his life.

As for the people saying that we should teach our children about safety, I completely agree. I think that what we should be focusing on in this situation, if we are teaching our children about safety, is that two strangers stopped to investigate something that seemed off to them. We should be teaching our children that, in addition to paying attention to their own safety, if they are concerned that someone is being hurt, they should stop and investigate, or call 911, or both, rather than just walking by.

If you see something, say something, right?

good post. yes we should teach them to pay attention if someone else is being hurt or appears to be. good thing those 2 guys came along. or she might just have woken up alone behind the dumpster with no idea what happened

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am literally nauseous reading the posts trying to excuse this rapist.

He is not being excused, but it's naive to trust everyone at a party to care about our personal safety. So, right or wrong, fair or not, we need to take steps to look out for ourselves. I remember reading a poster talking about her experience on the metro. When she found herself alone in a car, she switched to another one. That's being smart. Doesn't mean she's 100% safe. Doesn't mean an attacker doesn't deserve punishment.

And by your rationale the woman who was raped on metro 6 weeks ago wasn't paying attention to her safety because she didn't switch cars so that's her fault.

NP not was not her fault that she was raped. But she was definitely a fool. Walking down 6th and O Street at 3am alone is not illegal, but it is definitely foolish. If you are knocked over the head and purse grabbed it's not your fault that there are criminals looking for foolish people to put themselves in harms way at the bewitching hour in a known criminal area.

Great, so if you are ever the victim of a violent crime, please come back and tell us the detail so we can giggle and judge about how you are so silly and foolish.

I actually actually been the victim of a violent crime. Do I make excuses for my attacker? Hell to the NO! However, there were things that I had been taught to avoid and I did not. I put myself in an uncompromising position, and knew better. Something I never did again. I was a victim, but I didn't have to be a victim. And I think that is what many people are saying, but you are refusing to hear. We can't control other people's actions (rapists, child molesters, robbers, buglers, etc). However, we can control our own actions and make it more difficult to become a victim of those who would do is evil.

I posted above as well - having been drunk at a party at college, abandoned by friends, and "found" by the wrong person. I blame him for what happened when I clearly said NO. But I also blame myself for being drunk. I blame my friends who just left without me because they were so drunk they just forgot or lost me. I knew the guy and trusted him. BIG mistake.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Emily Doe is not blaming her sister who left without her (although maybe she should). She also doesn't say she said No. She is saying that, because she had four shots at college party, any man who had sex (whatever she did or did not say) with her would be guilty of rape under the new Yes means Yes laws. This would have included her boyfriend.

I was never really clear where her sister went. I do know that I do blame my friends. Maybe that's not fair of me to do and I should only blame the guy. But in my head - its not that simple

Victim here and I don't blame my friends. In a different situation I might, but we had all split up so no one knew I was alone. Also, my rapist was someone we knew so they wouldn't have had reason to believe he was going to be a psycho. Nor did I.

my friends just left without telling me - who knows we were all so drunk. maybe they thought I had already left. I think I had gone to the restroom and when I came out they were gone. Yes I knew the guy too - which is why I approached him upon finding myself alone at the party. Sigh

I don't really remember very well (being drugged will do that to you) but I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me. Split up, later couldn't find my friends again, saw someone I knew and the rest is history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This case is disgusting to me, in pretty much every way.

The survivor has shared her perspective. Read the entire impact statement if you are interested in her insight. It is not "regret" speaking but sexual trauma.

But he didn't do that. This is a situation where the victim was not able to give consent. The assault was broken up by TWO witnesses unknown to either the victim or the perpetrator. A rape kit was done. This isn't a case of he said/she said, and the jury agreed with that assessment. This man was found guilty of three felony charges, which he still denies. If he had been found guilty of those charges and, at his sentencing hearing, he had spoken about his remorse and admitted responsibility for his actions, I would be a lot more sympathetic to the impact on his life.

As for the people saying that we should teach our children about safety, I completely agree. I think that what we should be focusing on in this situation, if we are teaching our children about safety, is that two strangers stopped to investigate something that seemed off to them. We should be teaching our children that, in addition to paying attention to their own safety, if they are concerned that someone is being hurt, they should stop and investigate, or call 911, or both, rather than just walking by.

If you see something, say something, right?

Guys have been known to run off when caught having consensual Yes means Yes sex with strangers on the lawn at 2am. It's pretty embarrassing and unromantic in the best of circumstances.