what looks like a condom appeared in my toliet just now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. First, let's assume that the OP isn't just yanking us around and there really was a condom in the toilet...

1. It's freakishly unlikely that (with a newborn at home) he's bringing other women INTO THE HOUSE to bang.
2. If he's banging a woman somewhere else it's freakishly unlikely that he's bringing the used condom INTO THE HOUSE to flush.
3. If he hasn't had sex in 3 months it's FREAKISHLY LIKELY that he's jerking off.
4. It's definitely possible he'd do #3 with a condom. I have done just that.

My take: He used a condom to jerk of in some way, flushed it, then was embarrassed to admit it when the thing reappeared.

Okay. Fair points all. But let's talk red ring.

How do we explain the presence of the red ring phenomenon?

Chafing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. First, let's assume that the OP isn't just yanking us around and there really was a condom in the toilet...

1. It's freakishly unlikely that (with a newborn at home) he's bringing other women INTO THE HOUSE to bang.
2. If he's banging a woman somewhere else it's freakishly unlikely that he's bringing the used condom INTO THE HOUSE to flush.
3. If he hasn't had sex in 3 months it's FREAKISHLY LIKELY that he's jerking off.
4. It's definitely possible he'd do #3 with a condom. I have done just that.

My take: He used a condom to jerk of in some way, flushed it, then was embarrassed to admit it when the thing reappeared.

Okay. Fair points all. But let's talk red ring.

How do we explain the presence of the red ring phenomenon?

Chafing?

Maybe he used a red substance to aid in masturbation? There are colored lubes....just sayin...

[Anonymous]

Are some condoms colored? I distinctly remember colored rims.

[Anonymous]

I almost choked on my lunch reading this. Who was the last person to use the toilet? Did you fish it out of the toilet? Did you ask your husband? Has anyone heard of condoms with a red ring around it? Do you have maids?

[Anonymous]

You said there was a leak from the ceiling. Was the toilet seat open or closed? Do you think it fell from a hole in the ceiling from the upstairs neighbors? Actually I think your husband had tried to flush it. His immediate reaction was to flush it when you showed him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also why is it unclassy to engage in public sex? Its not any less classy than say dominitrax or rough type sex

Yes it is. By far.

Why? Is sex on the beach trashy too? If no ones around

If it's a place where it's not ok for a 60 year old disheveled drunk to whack off then it's not ok to have sex there. Use that as your benchmark.

::dying::

Please write an urban etiquette book, pp! Useful PLUS hilarious!

[Anonymous]

OP, why did you peek in the toilet in the first place? And wouldn't the offending condom have been hidden by TP?
Something just doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

Who the fuck flushes a condom??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who the fuck flushes a condom??

Cheaters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. First, let's assume that the OP isn't just yanking us around and there really was a condom in the toilet...

1. It's freakishly unlikely that (with a newborn at home) he's bringing other women INTO THE HOUSE to bang.
2. If he's banging a woman somewhere else it's freakishly unlikely that he's bringing the used condom INTO THE HOUSE to flush.
3. If he hasn't had sex in 3 months it's FREAKISHLY LIKELY that he's jerking off.
4. It's definitely possible he'd do #3 with a condom. I have done just that.

My take: He used a condom to jerk of in some way, flushed it, then was embarrassed to admit it when the thing reappeared.

I think you're probably right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I hope this becomes another burgandy washcloth or bobcat thread.

Burgundy washcloth??? I am feeling a little left out right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think hard Op. You tied a red ring around it so that you would remember.....what?

This made me laugh so hard! Can't wait to keep reading to find out if OP remembered!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are some condoms colored? I distinctly remember colored rims.

OP here: Yes all the condoms have a red ring. We got these condoms while we were in China . I don't know if this is a Chinese thing?! DH finally admitted that he found the condom in the closet while he was cleaning and then he flushed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are some condoms colored? I distinctly remember colored rims.

OP here: Yes all the condoms have a red ring. We got these condoms while we were in China . I don't know if this is a Chinese thing?! DH finally admitted that he found the condom in the closet while he was cleaning and then he flushed it.

OP again: I don't believe his story though! He's going to be doing the night feedings for a long long time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you peek in the toilet in the first place? And wouldn't the offending condom have been hidden by TP?
Something just doesn't add up.

my toilet doesn't have a top.