Would you be a sugar baby?

[Anonymous]

What if you get pregnant?

[Anonymous]

pistol annies..hell on heels. Great song. why the hell not. If he is dumb enough to float your boat for some ass, go for it.

[Anonymous]

I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pistol annies..hell on heels. Great song. why the hell not. If he is dumb enough to float your boat for some ass, go for it.

So log as OP thinks of herself as simply "some ass" then sure, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As a professional woman with two graduate degrees in her early 40s with loans and credit card bills that were used to support my basic living expenses in my 20s (rent, books, etc.) that I feel I will never, ever, ever get out from underneath of, I say go for it. I am shackled with debt even though I've had a job since I was 13 and I don't live beyond my means. But I have gotten a great education and lived in more expensive cities and, like you, have made something of myself despite my poverty-stricken childhood with a mentally ill single parent. My only regret is that I didn't do something like this when I was younger. And you really have none of the concerns that would worry me--trying to establish this relationship with a stranger, trying to do this with someone you found physically revolting or someone whose company you didn't enjoy. He's a nice guy who you already know isn't a freak. He's ok in bed. He's done this before. GO FOR IT.

But, I really would just embrace it and do it right. Screw feeling too morally shy to get a good deal for yourself. If you're doing it, do it smart. Tuition PLUS other stuff--not "gifts" and not cash. Tangible stuff. Like rent. And have it paid in advance (it will help take out the transactional nature of it). And you two need a real conversation re: whether you are permitted to date others and also talk birth control and STD protection. And have an end date. It will be helpful to you both. The exit is the thing that could get really, really messy. For both of you. What if you want out and he doesn't? Vice versa. Have clear conversations now so it's workable when it ends. And good luck.

And when it's over, don't look back. You are alone in this world. You did what you needed to do and it doesn't have to define who you will be later.



Why don't you prostitute yourself today to pay off your debts then?



LOL, getting two grad degrees was probably a bit much.[/quotle]

So as a mom would you recommend this to your daughter?

I'm the poster who said I had been raised in a similarly bleak situation. And I wished I had been given a safe, friendly financially secure arrangement with someone I was already into having sex with while I was pursuing my degrees. I didn't say I wish I had prostituted myself. There's a difference and I'm sorry some of you are so judgmental and uptight so as not to see it. Instead of having a safe "sugar daddy," I had destructive relationships with boyfriends poorer than myself who I ended up supporting. Because I had such a jacked-up childhood that I spent my youth trying to recreate the dysfunction I'd seen as a child. That's what fucked-up kids do. Took me at least a decade of adulthood to right my own ship. And yeah, getting 2 grad degrees was probably too much. Although, again, I had zero idea of what I was doing. I raised myself. And no one in my fucked up family or my wider environment even had a high school diploma and I knew I wanted better for myself. So I went overboard and over-compensated. Now that I basically have my shit together, I can see that. But I couldn't then. All you judgers out there. You had meals cooked for you as kid, didn't you? And a roof? Electricity? Basic human kindness? Safety? Well guess what? Some kids don't have that. Or adults, for that matter. Some people live in their cars, get repeatedly raped by their own family members and struggle for basic survival. Some people are raised by barely functioning adults who are struggling with their own mental illnesses or addictions so badly that they cannot provide their children with basic necessities. What a consenting adult female decides about voluntarily sharing her body with another consenting adult, and whether she accepts financial benefits in the confines of some arrangement, either as part of an explicit arrangement such as this or something more socially acceptable like a "marriage" is something I'm not going to judge her for. Particularly not someone who doesn't have a support structure like many "normal" people have.

So now that I'm a mom, would I recommend this to my daughter? Nope. But not because it's "objectively wrong." It's because my daughter isn't alone in this world. She has support. She has the emotional, physical and financial support of two parents who aren't insane. We will be there for her so she won't ever have to even think about this. I didn't have that. I didn't have anything close to that. And although I have no idea what the details are, it sounds like OP doesn't either. And I for one am not going to judge her for taking steps to get her life on track and get a great job and position herself well in this life through this means--a consenting relationship that doesn't harm others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do it, please blog daily about it.

Haha, why?

Because it is an atypical relationship. It would be interesting to read a play by play of the experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
As a professional woman with two graduate degrees in her early 40s with loans and credit card bills that were used to support my basic living expenses in my 20s (rent, books, etc.) that I feel I will never, ever, ever get out from underneath of, I say go for it. I am shackled with debt even though I've had a job since I was 13 and I don't live beyond my means. But I have gotten a great education and lived in more expensive cities and, like you, have made something of myself despite my poverty-stricken childhood with a mentally ill single parent. My only regret is that I didn't do something like this when I was younger. And you really have none of the concerns that would worry me--trying to establish this relationship with a stranger, trying to do this with someone you found physically revolting or someone whose company you didn't enjoy. He's a nice guy who you already know isn't a freak. He's ok in bed. He's done this before. GO FOR IT.

But, I really would just embrace it and do it right. Screw feeling too morally shy to get a good deal for yourself. If you're doing it, do it smart. Tuition PLUS other stuff--not "gifts" and not cash. Tangible stuff. Like rent. And have it paid in advance (it will help take out the transactional nature of it). And you two need a real conversation re: whether you are permitted to date others and also talk birth control and STD protection. And have an end date. It will be helpful to you both. The exit is the thing that could get really, really messy. For both of you. What if you want out and he doesn't? Vice versa. Have clear conversations now so it's workable when it ends. And good luck.

And when it's over, don't look back. You are alone in this world. You did what you needed to do and it doesn't have to define who you will be later.



Why don't you prostitute yourself today to pay off your debts then?



LOL, getting two grad degrees was probably a bit much.[/quotle]

So as a mom would you recommend this to your daughter?

I'm the poster who said I had been raised in a similarly bleak situation. And I wished I had been given a safe, friendly financially secure arrangement with someone I was already into having sex with while I was pursuing my degrees. I didn't say I wish I had prostituted myself. There's a difference and I'm sorry some of you are so judgmental and uptight so as not to see it. Instead of having a safe "sugar daddy," I had destructive relationships with boyfriends poorer than myself who I ended up supporting. Because I had such a jacked-up childhood that I spent my youth trying to recreate the dysfunction I'd seen as a child. That's what fucked-up kids do. Took me at least a decade of adulthood to right my own ship. And yeah, getting 2 grad degrees was probably too much. Although, again, I had zero idea of what I was doing. I raised myself. And no one in my fucked up family or my wider environment even had a high school diploma and I knew I wanted better for myself. So I went overboard and over-compensated. Now that I basically have my shit together, I can see that. But I couldn't then. All you judgers out there. You had meals cooked for you as kid, didn't you? And a roof? Electricity? Basic human kindness? Safety? Well guess what? Some kids don't have that. Or adults, for that matter. Some people live in their cars, get repeatedly raped by their own family members and struggle for basic survival. Some people are raised by barely functioning adults who are struggling with their own mental illnesses or addictions so badly that they cannot provide their children with basic necessities. What a consenting adult female decides about voluntarily sharing her body with another consenting adult, and whether she accepts financial benefits in the confines of some arrangement, either as part of an explicit arrangement such as this or something more socially acceptable like a "marriage" is something I'm not going to judge her for. Particularly not someone who doesn't have a support structure like many "normal" people have.

So now that I'm a mom, would I recommend this to my daughter? Nope. But not because it's "objectively wrong." It's because my daughter isn't alone in this world. She has support. She has the emotional, physical and financial support of two parents who aren't insane. We will be there for her so she won't ever have to even think about this. I didn't have that. I didn't have anything close to that. And although I have no idea what the details are, it sounds like OP doesn't either. And I for one am not going to judge her for taking steps to get her life on track and get a great job and position herself well in this life through this means--a consenting relationship that doesn't harm others.

I am not judging the OP either. She asked "would you be a sugar baby" and my answer is no, for many reasons. I understand she had a dysfunctional upbringing and no support. She is now searching for a way to help herself pay for school. A "sugar baby" relationship is a dysfunctional relationship. One person (a rich, powerful man) is paying another person (a poor, needy woman) to have sex. This is not good for her self worth or self respect. She has other options. She does not have to sell her body. I know it's very difficult to be poor and have no support, my mother was a single mom with four kids. The OP can do whatever she is comfortable with, but several people posted that they did this and regret it. I am trying to deter the OP from doing something she might regret. I also think any man who would suggest this has issues.

[Anonymous]

OP, cannot read through all the pages but if this widower is so great, he can't meet an age appropriate woman and have a normal relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. I fucked for money once. when I was 18, I needed to pay someone back really fast. I worked one night a week as a waitress. I asked my boss (who I know hired me because he thought I was hot) if he could pay me upfront for one month. I had to give him a BJ for it, which turned into some serious fucking. I don't think I ever moaned so hard and fucked like a pornstar, just to please this asshole to pay me upfront, not even extra! I feel terrible about him having his fun till this very day. It's definitely the easiest way, but you'll suffer from it. Try something else. I know it's hard.

Hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, cannot read through all the pages but if this widower is so great, he can't meet an age appropriate woman and have a normal relationship?

He probably doesn't want a "normal" relationship with an "age appropriate" woman. I sure wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a lot of great questions. To be fair he did offer to help pay for things without sex. I always declined as it felt awkward just taking money. Then he decided to propose this, I'm assuming. He's really a nice guy. He had a rough upbringing and struggled before his wealth, and I think he seems a little of himself in me ( no pun intended).

I'm not exactly what you mean by full room and board. I will still be paying my own rent, utilities, and daily expenses. He will be covering tuition ( first year upfront), dinners, and gifts.

We have not discussed exclusivity but he did say I can end it whenever w.o him taking back tuition payments. I trust him and his word. I feel it's kind of no different than my real relationships. For the most part I've dated men who paid for almost every outing and offered to help pay tuition, etc.

Let me get this straight. He offered to cover your tuition for you with no strings but this made you uncomfortable. But screwing him for the cash is somehow makes you feel better about it?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're still here, head on over to Readdit's forums about this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/

From what I know it can be quite lucrative but is obviously a personal choice. Some would rather be poor and not involved in this, others think it foolish to reject such an arrangement.

[Anonymous]

If you feel as if you can truly live w/yourself over this, then by all means do what you need to do to survive.

Can you live modestly for a bit while pursuing your studies?? Or could you end up up to your neck in debt that you worry you won't be able to pay off later on?

It all depends on how much money you are out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't sell your body, OP. It sounds like you've had a lot of challenges and I know it sucks to be poor, but keep brainstorming for other options (other/better jobs, loans, different school, cheaper city to live in.) Some colleges are willing to give lots of grant money for good students. There has to be a better way and I'm sure you can figure something out. Be confident, respect your ability to master your current challenges without doing something you may regret and/or you won't feel proud of and may want to lie about. Good luck! You'll figure this out!

Thanks but with my degree program I can't switch schools, especially with only a year left. I just need to get through this year and get a job in my field. I will be making decent money then ( $120-130k).

OK, so if he's willing to front the money for your tuition (even without sex, so you claim) why not have him just provide you a no interest loan that you can pay back legitimately? Doesn't cost him any more, and you don't have to pay for it with your body and self respect.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think if he likes you, you should just give a cash gift and leave it at that. Asking for sex a few times a week IN EXCHANGE for sex sounds like a pact with the devil, even if you like sex. And even if you like sex with him.

He sounds like a class-A self-important asshole, and I prefer not to be in relationships of any kind with people like this.