Some honest opinions about relocating to the midwest?

[Anonymous]

PS, segregation is really real in Cleveland as well - there are a handful of suburbs and neighborhoods on the near west side of the city that are fairly diverse but that's it, and some of them are rather run down (the neighborhood where the kidnapped girls were found is a good example). West side and south of the city are white white white, near east side of the city is majority black, further east suburbs are also very white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left Cincinnati in 2007. I would not return but my circumstance is 100% different than the OP's. I am in a minority group and in my hometown the level of segregation is such that its difficult to prove you are competent. I also found I was living in a area with either have not's or basic middle class suburbianites with connections to certain neighborhoods and HIGH SCHOOLS!. Here the question "Where did you go to school?"---it is all about HS and class and upbringing. It is hard for outsiders to fit in.

My husband is from St. Louis and never really fit in the Cincy clique. We got tired of the low paying "Bank" jobs that came our way. We were "odd", because we wanted more and finding a job there IS a real struggle.

OP, I suggest you go on City Data and look under forums for any area you find interest in. The threads will quickly give you a feel of how the locals think and feel about their town. I DO miss the lower cost of living but I do not miss the constant sports talk, and a lot of people there are not fond of "DC" for political reasons.

I have several gfs who relocated to cincy. My impressions:

-almost everyone grew up there, went to school there, is raising a family there. Hard to find people who spent meaningful time elsewhere
-travel, especially foreign, is not a huge priority
-massive drinking
-once people hit the baby years, they are totally obsessive about babies and everything is about family time
-hard to make new friends as it is very insular

PP quoted above,
Yes, it is rare to meet others not from Cincy. P&G draws outsiders and a few other big companies but the Cincy economy would collapse if Proctor and Gamble left. That leaves the area vulnerable. Like after the big automakers closed plants in the surrounding burbs, it has taken a good 20 years for areas to rebound.
There are still a lot of "blue collar" mentality folks there that don't like college grads. They aren't hard to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, two years ago we left DC for Iowa. Both DH and I are born and raised natives so it was a HUGE move not only for us but for our families as well. Here's what we found:
My base salary increased by 40K, my bonus increased 70K
DH salary decreased by 20K, his bonus stayed the same
Private school tuition for two kids dropped from 52K to 12K
Our 4BR, 3BA brand new house with upgraded everything, acre lot and full landscaping in what is considered 'the best' neighborhood cost 525K
We joined the local golf/tennis/swim club for 3K per year
My daughter's music teacher costs $200/semester for private lessons thru the local university's community music program
My commute is 7 minutes, DH is 12 minutes.
I never drive more than 10 minutes for any errand or shopping.
We have made a lot of really good friends, so many that we're woefully behind on reciprocating invitations so we need to have a big patio party soon.

To be honest, we were really apprehensive, but we've been here 2 years and you couldn't pay us enough to move back to the rat race. I know people will prattle on about museums, etc. but in all honesty, how often did you avail yourself to all the cultural aspects of the city? If you find that yes, you take full advantage of the museums, ballet, theater, etc. then you probably wont' be happy here. If not, you may find you have a lot to gain in a slower paced environment.

To another point, yes, there is the keep up with the Jones' everywhere you go, but the Jones' have less here then they do in DC so keeping up is pretty easy. That and people think its really tacky to talk about how your kid is taking calculus in the 7th grade

The state college system is pretty good. If you are an Iowa resident and your kid scores decently on exams and grades they can go to one of the 3 state universities for peanuts. Most of the Iowa private colleges (including Grinnell where DS is going in the fall) offer Iowa kids generous scholarships just for being Iowan.

All in all, its not for everyone but its worth checking out. West Des Moines is very nice, lots of jobs and tons of growth going on right now.

Good luck

Not OP, but what is the weather like in Iowa? I hate cold and long winters. I've always had that impression of Iowa. But maybe I'm wrong.[/quote

Iowa is brutal cold in february - I spent a month in Iowa in Feb 2014 and I felt like I was in siberia.

[Anonymous]

OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me homesick (all the people who have clearly never lived in the Midwest? please, keep your misconceptions and stay the hell out of the Midwest; I've had enough of your kind in the last 12 years) for the Midwest.

Me too! This post is making me think about other things I miss about my (very small) Iowa hometown: you can see tons of stars at night, everybody knows everybody, community theater. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

I've lived in WI and MN and definitely prefer MN. Different cities can have very different feels. We would move back to MN if we could find comperable jobs. Loved living there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

What about Colorado if you have family there. Denver is sort of an in between step from East Coast to Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

Ah, a Californian! You probably don't get into the formal dinner parties, thank you notes, East Coast types of stuff. A Californian would fit in much better in the Midwest than in DC in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me homesick (all the people who have clearly never lived in the Midwest? please, keep your misconceptions and stay the hell out of the Midwest; I've had enough of your kind in the last 12 years) for the Midwest.

Me too! This post is making me think about other things I miss about my (very small) Iowa hometown: you can see tons of stars at night, everybody knows everybody, community theater. Sigh.

Everyone knowing everyone else, and their business, is a main reason my parents left the Midwest for DC. I don't want to know everyone and I sure don't want them in my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm originally from a small town about 60-90 minutes south of Cleveland, then I lived in a close-in Cleveland suburb for 6 years after I graduated college. In Ohio, the cost of living is quite a bit lower. Especially the cost of housing - although I'll be honest and say that housing prices are starting to creep up close to Cleveland in the desirable suburbs. It's not one of those cities where you can buy a new McMansion 25 minutes away from downtown in a safe city with a top school district for 250k. The housing stock is largely older if you're close to the city and a 250k house in a top suburb is going to be older and small.

I think the biggest adjustment for you is going to be the fact that almost everyone is "from" that city, especially if you choose a smaller city (a Cleveland or Cincinnati type city as opposed to a larger city like Chicago or Minneapolis). There won't be new kids in school, and people rarely move there because there just aren't as many jobs to draw new people in. You're going to stick out as the new people in town and you won't have the small town connections. That was really hard for me - like REALLY hard. I got my post-college job through sheer dumb luck but once I had it I was basically stuck because so much of job hunting in a smaller city with limited opportunities is who you know.

Case in point: Read up on the Kelly Blazek controversy from last year. This woman ran the largest jobs list for communications jobs in Cleveland and if you didn't personally know her or have a connection with her, TOUGH COOKIES! She would reject your application just to get on the list. This is obviously something that affects younger people who are just starting out more than older people. So if you have kids, it's going to be hard for them to live there because of this old guard, "who you know" mentality. http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2014/02/25/kelly-blazek-head-of-cleveland-job-bank-writes-scathing-emails-to-local-job-seekers

This. Midwestern towns are very insular. If you didn't grow up there, even if your kids move there in 3rd grade or something, you will ever be an "outsider".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have an opinion on Indiana or Ohio?

Former resident of Indianapolis here. I lived there pre-kids but I always thought, and still think, it's a good place to raise a family. Low COL, pretty neighborhoods with good-sized yards, decent restaurants (independent places and chains), plenty of outdoor activities (trails, bike paths, lakes, etc). Big football city, if you like sports. People are very friendly and value family. In 2-3 hours, you can drive to Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, Louisville or the shores of Lake Michigan. There is a lot more money in Indy than you would think (particularly in Carmel, Geist, and Fishers), although people don't talk about it or give it much attention.

Cons: it's not very diverse, and it's a tad Southern in certain respects (some people have accents, life moves at a slower pace, it's more conservative and religious than other parts of the Midwest). A lot of people who live there are natives, or stuck around after attending IU or Purdue, but I never found this to be an impediment to making friends or getting to know people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm originally from a small town about 60-90 minutes south of Cleveland, then I lived in a close-in Cleveland suburb for 6 years after I graduated college. In Ohio, the cost of living is quite a bit lower. Especially the cost of housing - although I'll be honest and say that housing prices are starting to creep up close to Cleveland in the desirable suburbs. It's not one of those cities where you can buy a new McMansion 25 minutes away from downtown in a safe city with a top school district for 250k. The housing stock is largely older if you're close to the city and a 250k house in a top suburb is going to be older and small.

I think the biggest adjustment for you is going to be the fact that almost everyone is "from" that city, especially if you choose a smaller city (a Cleveland or Cincinnati type city as opposed to a larger city like Chicago or Minneapolis). There won't be new kids in school, and people rarely move there because there just aren't as many jobs to draw new people in. You're going to stick out as the new people in town and you won't have the small town connections. That was really hard for me - like REALLY hard. I got my post-college job through sheer dumb luck but once I had it I was basically stuck because so much of job hunting in a smaller city with limited opportunities is who you know.

Case in point: Read up on the Kelly Blazek controversy from last year. This woman ran the largest jobs list for communications jobs in Cleveland and if you didn't personally know her or have a connection with her, TOUGH COOKIES! She would reject your application just to get on the list. This is obviously something that affects younger people who are just starting out more than older people. So if you have kids, it's going to be hard for them to live there because of this old guard, "who you know" mentality. http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2014/02/25/kelly-blazek-head-of-cleveland-job-bank-writes-scathing-emails-to-local-job-seekers

This. Midwestern towns are very insular. If you didn't grow up there, even if your kids move there in 3rd grade or something, you will ever be an "outsider".

While that might be true in small towns, that's simply not true for the larger cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left Cincinnati in 2007. I would not return but my circumstance is 100% different than the OP's. I am in a minority group and in my hometown the level of segregation is such that its difficult to prove you are competent. I also found I was living in a area with either have not's or basic middle class suburbianites with connections to certain neighborhoods and HIGH SCHOOLS!. Here the question "Where did you go to school?"---it is all about HS and class and upbringing. It is hard for outsiders to fit in.

My husband is from St. Louis and never really fit in the Cincy clique. We got tired of the low paying "Bank" jobs that came our way. We were "odd", because we wanted more and finding a job there IS a real struggle.

OP, I suggest you go on City Data and look under forums for any area you find interest in. The threads will quickly give you a feel of how the locals think and feel about their town. I DO miss the lower cost of living but I do not miss the constant sports talk, and a lot of people there are not fond of "DC" for political reasons.

I have several gfs who relocated to cincy. My impressions:

-almost everyone grew up there, went to school there, is raising a family there. Hard to find people who spent meaningful time elsewhere
-travel, especially foreign, is not a huge priority
-massive drinking
-once people hit the baby years, they are totally obsessive about babies and everything is about family time
-hard to make new friends as it is very insular

This is exactly why DH and I moved from Cincinnnati to DC. Especially if you like city living vs. suburbs, you cannot get the type of life you have in a city like DC or NYC in Cincinnati or any other major Ohio city (I also lived in Columbus for 6 years). We wanted our children exposed to culture and diversity that Cincinnati cannot provide, but DC does. To us, we felt surrounded by the culture of sports talk and drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me homesick (all the people who have clearly never lived in the Midwest? please, keep your misconceptions and stay the hell out of the Midwest; I've had enough of your kind in the last 12 years) for the Midwest.

Me too! This post is making me think about other things I miss about my (very small) Iowa hometown: you can see tons of stars at night, everybody knows everybody, community theater. Sigh.

Everyone knowing everyone else, and their business, is a main reason my parents left the Midwest for DC. I don't want to know everyone and I sure don't want them in my business.

Where did your parents live? I've lived in several cities in the Midwest and this was not my experience at all. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

Ah, a Californian! You probably don't get into the formal dinner parties, thank you notes, East Coast types of stuff. A Californian would fit in much better in the Midwest than in DC in my experience.

The country club culture really threw me for a loop. If I am honest I don't enjoy it. Our club growing up was way different. For what it is worth I don't want to move back to California though, visiting the beach in the early summer is enough to recharge me.