Some honest opinions about relocating to the midwest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me homesick (all the people who have clearly never lived in the Midwest? please, keep your misconceptions and stay the hell out of the Midwest; I've had enough of your kind in the last 12 years) for the Midwest.

Me too! This post is making me think about other things I miss about my (very small) Iowa hometown: you can see tons of stars at night, everybody knows everybody, community theater. Sigh.

Everyone knowing everyone else, and their business, is a main reason my parents left the Midwest for DC. I don't want to know everyone and I sure don't want them in my business.

Where did your parents live? I've lived in several cities in the Midwest and this was not my experience at all. Not even close.

Milwaukee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

If you love going to concerts, especially bands that come to 9:30 club or smaller venues, you'll hate living in Iowa. If you love going to NFL, NHL, MLB, or NBA sporting events here, you'll hate living in Iowa. If you have family in Iowa and move to Ohio, and you want to visit Iowa, you'll have a hell of time getting there; direct flights are limited and it's more than a day's drive.

If you like living in the city (you said you live in Georgetown now) and like the city pace of life, such as walkable neighborhoods, accessibility to varied restaurants, bars, parks, museums, you will hate living in the suburbs, which is where you inevitably will live in the Midwest because of the schools and lower crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, two years ago we left DC for Iowa. Both DH and I are born and raised natives so it was a HUGE move not only for us but for our families as well. Here's what we found:
My base salary increased by 40K, my bonus increased 70K
DH salary decreased by 20K, his bonus stayed the same
Private school tuition for two kids dropped from 52K to 12K
Our 4BR, 3BA brand new house with upgraded everything, acre lot and full landscaping in what is considered 'the best' neighborhood cost 525K
We joined the local golf/tennis/swim club for 3K per year
My daughter's music teacher costs $200/semester for private lessons thru the local university's community music program
My commute is 7 minutes, DH is 12 minutes.
I never drive more than 10 minutes for any errand or shopping.
We have made a lot of really good friends, so many that we're woefully behind on reciprocating invitations so we need to have a big patio party soon.

To be honest, we were really apprehensive, but we've been here 2 years and you couldn't pay us enough to move back to the rat race. I know people will prattle on about museums, etc. but in all honesty, how often did you avail yourself to all the cultural aspects of the city? If you find that yes, you take full advantage of the museums, ballet, theater, etc. then you probably wont' be happy here. If not, you may find you have a lot to gain in a slower paced environment.

To another point, yes, there is the keep up with the Jones' everywhere you go, but the Jones' have less here then they do in DC so keeping up is pretty easy. That and people think its really tacky to talk about how your kid is taking calculus in the 7th grade

The state college system is pretty good. If you are an Iowa resident and your kid scores decently on exams and grades they can go to one of the 3 state universities for peanuts. Most of the Iowa private colleges (including Grinnell where DS is going in the fall) offer Iowa kids generous scholarships just for being Iowan.

All in all, its not for everyone but its worth checking out. West Des Moines is very nice, lots of jobs and tons of growth going on right now.

Good luck

Not OP, but what is the weather like in Iowa? I hate cold and long winters. I've always had that impression of Iowa. But maybe I'm wrong.[/quote

Iowa is brutal cold in february - I spent a month in Iowa in Feb 2014 and I felt like I was in siberia.

2014 winter was legendary. Even the lifelong Iowans were freezing. This year Iowa had a milder winter than DC. 2 weird winters in a row.

[Anonymous]

In order:

Chicago
Minneapolis
Indianapolis
Louisville (close enough)
metro Detroit
Madison
Omahahaha
Columbus
St Loser
Cincy
Cleveland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

Maybe Chicago would be a good fit for you. Two MLB teams to choose from, huge concert/music scene, all four seasons, and a short trip to Iowa. You get everything a big city has to offer but with friendly people of varied backgrounds and less density than the East Coast (which means you can actually enjoy the amenities and not waste half of your day in traffic). Lots of outdoor activities throughout the year, wide variety of neighborhoods and suburbs to choose from and better COL. Not gonna lie, though, winter can be rough. Unlike here, though, the streets get plowed and treated when it snows, so driving and getting around isn't a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

Maybe Chicago would be a good fit for you. Two MLB teams to choose from, huge concert/music scene, all four seasons, and a short trip to Iowa. You get everything a big city has to offer but with friendly people of varied backgrounds and less density than the East Coast (which means you can actually enjoy the amenities and not waste half of your day in traffic). Lots of outdoor activities throughout the year, wide variety of neighborhoods and suburbs to choose from and better COL. Not gonna lie, though, winter can be rough. Unlike here, though, the streets get plowed and treated when it snows, so driving and getting around isn't a problem.

Chicago traffic is worse that DC's IMHO, but other than that, it might be your best match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and gosh you've all given such good advice and so much perspective. This is what I wanted so DH and I could really start thinking about it.

To those who say I should "let" my DH get a lesser job and move to the suburbs here, that wouldn't work for us. I don't really love the east coast culture at all (not judging, I just grew up at the beach in California - so I have a very different idea about what living on the coast means) and we only live here for my DHs job. All our family is Midwest, Texas, Arizona and Colorado. Also we make choices together, there is no "letting" each other do anything, but I think you knew that.

My husband's hometown in Iowa is gorgeous, just enough Norman Rockwell, just enough modern amenities. I'd really miss being near an MLB team though and large concert (big draw) venues. Also I really like the four seasons here in DC. I guess there is no one "perfect" place to live.

Maybe Chicago would be a good fit for you. Two MLB teams to choose from, huge concert/music scene, all four seasons, and a short trip to Iowa. You get everything a big city has to offer but with friendly people of varied backgrounds and less density than the East Coast (which means you can actually enjoy the amenities and not waste half of your day in traffic). Lots of outdoor activities throughout the year, wide variety of neighborhoods and suburbs to choose from and better COL. Not gonna lie, though, winter can be rough. Unlike here, though, the streets get plowed and treated when it snows, so driving and getting around isn't a problem.

former chicagoan. the bolded is not true. not at all. traffic is horrendous in chicago, and the city and suburbs are so spread out that you can spend all day getting from point a to b. also, if you live in the city, young families begin peeling off for the suburbs, and once they are there it takes a good hour on way to drive and visit them. you lose touch quickly that way. so, you could just move to the suburbs, but then it takes forever to get in the city to take advantage of anything. in this way, DC is WAY BETTER than chicago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS, segregation is really real in Cleveland as well - there are a handful of suburbs and neighborhoods on the near west side of the city that are fairly diverse but that's it, and some of them are rather run down (the neighborhood where the kidnapped girls were found is a good example). West side and south of the city are white white white, near east side of the city is majority black, further east suburbs are also very white.

According to some measures DC is actually more segregated than Cleveland (which, yes, is also segregated).

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-most-diverse-cities-are-often-the-most-segregated/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you've been unhappy with you life for years, I can't imagine someone who lived in NY and DC wanting to move to the midwest. I'm from a mid-szed city in another part of the country and see a big difference between the lives and interests of my friends at home. Not saying it is better or worse, but just that I prefer DC or NY.

You can't make yourself be someone else just because deep down you know you should be focused on family, church picnics or whatever else it is yoi think is better about one of these cities.

Exactly. I cannot imagine living anywhere in the Mudwest apart from Chicago. I'd be clinically depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you've been unhappy with you life for years, I can't imagine someone who lived in NY and DC wanting to move to the midwest. I'm from a mid-szed city in another part of the country and see a big difference between the lives and interests of my friends at home. Not saying it is better or worse, but just that I prefer DC or NY.

You can't make yourself be someone else just because deep down you know you should be focused on family, church picnics or whatever else it is yoi think is better about one of these cities.

Exactly. I cannot imagine living anywhere in the Mudwest apart from Chicago. I'd be clinically depressed.

^^^mudwest Lol! A freudian slip?!

[Anonymous]

I don't know...I see a lot of those folks who are singing the diversity/culture song spending most of their time schlepping their kids to travel sports tournaments and activities with similar SES and ethnic group families, just as folks do in the midwest. There is a big difference for the dinks and maybe those with one kid, but once your kids get into sports and schools we all tend to end up doing the same thing/different activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

I've lived in WI and MN and definitely prefer MN. Different cities can have very different feels. We would move back to MN if we could find comperable jobs. Loved living there.

What cities did you live in? I went to the U of M in Minneapolis and husband is from Wisconsin. He has a job offer in Mpls coming up, and part of me wants to try something new like Milwaukee, but it seems to get more mixed reviews than Mpls. The cheaper housing, good schools and beer gardens (for the feel like you are in Germany vibe) sound great, but excessive drinking culture prevalence across WI puts me off.

Anyway, I think OP should go for it. Life is so much more exciting when you start something new and being around family is a huge plus that we currently lack. DC has great museums and the Kennedy Center, but honestly it has never knocked my socks off. I much preferred my years spent in Boston, and after living abroad in London, Rome and Amsterdam, DC would not make my list of top places to live. I don't think DC and "world class", but then again I wouldn't use that verbiage anyway.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way. Its become a hollow obsession for some people.

My personal social circle is diverse - but so what? Really, who cares? Why should anyone care? I believe the way to a color-blind society is to just live it. I value my friends for the content of their character, not their various skin colors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm originally from a small town about 60-90 minutes south of Cleveland, then I lived in a close-in Cleveland suburb for 6 years after I graduated college. In Ohio, the cost of living is quite a bit lower. Especially the cost of housing - although I'll be honest and say that housing prices are starting to creep up close to Cleveland in the desirable suburbs. It's not one of those cities where you can buy a new McMansion 25 minutes away from downtown in a safe city with a top school district for 250k. The housing stock is largely older if you're close to the city and a 250k house in a top suburb is going to be older and small.

I think the biggest adjustment for you is going to be the fact that almost everyone is "from" that city, especially if you choose a smaller city (a Cleveland or Cincinnati type city as opposed to a larger city like Chicago or Minneapolis). There won't be new kids in school, and people rarely move there because there just aren't as many jobs to draw new people in. You're going to stick out as the new people in town and you won't have the small town connections. That was really hard for me - like REALLY hard. I got my post-college job through sheer dumb luck but once I had it I was basically stuck because so much of job hunting in a smaller city with limited opportunities is who you know.

Case in point: Read up on the Kelly Blazek controversy from last year. This woman ran the largest jobs list for communications jobs in Cleveland and if you didn't personally know her or have a connection with her, TOUGH COOKIES! She would reject your application just to get on the list. This is obviously something that affects younger people who are just starting out more than older people. So if you have kids, it's going to be hard for them to live there because of this old guard, "who you know" mentality. http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and-heard/archives/2014/02/25/kelly-blazek-head-of-cleveland-job-bank-writes-scathing-emails-to-local-job-seekers

This. Midwestern towns are very insular. If you didn't grow up there, even if your kids move there in 3rd grade or something, you will ever be an "outsider".

While that might be true in small towns, that's simply not true for the larger cities.

It's not true for the larger cities like Chicago and Minneapolis or anywhere else that is growing and draws transplants (Indianapolis? Omaha, maybe?) It is definitely true for any city with a less robust job market where people are born, grow up, live, and die there. In the small town where I grew up/graduated from high school we definitely benefited from my dad's connections. He grew up (near) there too. But it was just far enough away from Cleveland where when I moved up there after college I didn't get any of those benefits and it was TOUGH. It seems like everyone got their first internship/first job through their dads or moms or other family member and that held true of my friends from college who were from, like, Dayton and Toledo as well.

[Anonymous]

My company has a presence in downtown Des Moines and while I've never lived there, I'm in Des Moines annually for at least a week at a time and often several times a year.

Full Disclosure I'm a native Washingtonian, and I really do love it here, and I hope I never have to move to Iowa/Des Moines.

1. Lack of diversity among race, educational attainment, everything. I saw people refer it as white bread on another post - agree completely.

2. Lack of professional sporting options - think they have minor league baseball.

3. the city literally closes at 5pm and on the weekend. Positive: the idea of traffic is a joke for anyone coming out of DC/Atlanta/LA

4. The food options - most are horrid. There are a couple that are good - I would heartily recommend anyone in Des Moines to visit Centro (wonderful!) but I've had "Mexican" in Des Moines where I strongly suspect they poured ketchup on my food in place of red sauce (I also got food poisoning that night). When I'm in town I spend a lot of time at Panera....

5. I never once saw someone on a run or on a bike, and most of the people I interact with are much larger than the average person in DC.

6. The people are very nice but at times shallow in their niceness. They've known everyone in their circle their whole life so it can be hard to break into their existing cliques.

7. There's a reason you can get real estate downtown for <$100K. There's really nothing to do, comparable to being downtown in DC. Theatre/Museums/Cultural events are much smaller/further apart location and timing/smaller scale - see also lack of diversity above.

8. I don't find the weather that much different from DC, except for they have extremes. It's flat and blah - just as hot and humid in the summer, winter last year was miserable. Constant snow, and the worst of the polar vortex it was NEGATIVE 55*. -55*. No, thank you.

9. Finally. All the dumb farming colloquialisms... "Gotta make hay when the sun shines"