Some honest opinions about relocating to the midwest?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are seriously considering moving back to the midwest, where he is from. He is from Iowa, outside Des Moines. We are not sure if we would want to head there, but maybe a suburb of a larger city. I love visiting his hometown and he has relatives all over the midwest that we visit, but I don't know if I am fooling myself about living there. I've grew up on the beach in OC california and I've lived in nyc (with dh) and here. He is biglaw, we think we want a slower pace and a different vibe for our children.



Can I get some honest opinions about the midwest? I know its cold. I think I might be idealizing it a bit, because the longest I've spent there has been two weeks at a time. Also I know its a big area, with lots of different individual vibes, but we don't have a specific place in mind yet. We'd be open to some suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Won't it be kind of hard for him to find a job? There aren't a lot of 'biglaw' type jobs in midwestern cities, and those that are tend to go to people with connections.

[Anonymous]

Great quality of life at a great price if you can find a city you like. You need to make a list of what your priorities are, in order. For me, being within a certain distance of a major airport is vital (don't discount how important that is), and I preferred further south in the midwest to get slightly better weather.

Somewhere like Nashville is a great option - which I guess is technically the south, but it's just barely below the midwest. Indianapolis is nice too. Des Moines is great though! If being close to family is a priority, then be close to family.

I personally would stay away from Minneapolis (nice city, just too dang long of winters) and anywhere north of Chicago, pretty much. St. Louis is decent if you're on the west side but does get a lot of ice which I find more irritating than snow/cold. Kansas City is also very nice (again, west side) and very low cost of living, if you can find work.

[Anonymous]

I would love to do it. I say go for it.

[Anonymous]

My family is all from Kansas City and I love visiting there. Friendly, great pace of life. KC has jazz, bbq and lots of history though.

Why not rent an apartment or an Air B&B in Des Moines for a few weeks this summer and see if you like it.

[Anonymous]

No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Won't it be kind of hard for him to find a job? There aren't a lot of 'biglaw' type jobs in midwestern cities, and those that are tend to go to people with connections.

If we moved he would want to start his own consulting firm (he has a dual background in finance) or go into private practice. We are fantasizing about a change of pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

This is a city we talked about, any specific reasons why?

[Anonymous]

I'm from WI, so am probably biased, but think living in Mpls, Madison, or Chicago would be fantastic (I dream of moving back to Mpls). The pp is absolutely right- the winters are long and cold- colder than you can imagine on some days. But, the cities often have a lot of outdoor activities that you can do outside to combat the SAD if you dress correctly. Summers are glorious, albeit short.

The schools in Mpls are pretty good, the cost of living is fantastic, and the people are genuinely nice. Chicago seems maybe a little more exciting and somewhat warmer. I love the smaller feel of Madison, but only lived there when in college, so not sure what the vibe is like as a non-student. Also, the governor sucks.

I should say, I'm speaking only of the cities themselves; these cities have huge suburbs and those don't appeal to me at all.

[Anonymous]

Can you be a bit more specific about what opinions you would like regarding the midwest? Cost of living will be lower. Living in most urban areas you will be able to get more of a house for the same if not less. What is important to you and your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

This is a city we talked about, any specific reasons why?

Ghost town .Very strange.Big buildings but noone walks on the streets.Now the best place to live for schools would be north shore area(Shorewood,fox point etc),while houses are beautiful and inexpensive a lot of them for sale.We still can't sell our house there.Weather is terrible year round.You get one month of warmth(July).People are big drinkers.You will be surprised to see so many functional alchoholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won't it be kind of hard for him to find a job? There aren't a lot of 'biglaw' type jobs in midwestern cities, and those that are tend to go to people with connections.

If we moved he would want to start his own consulting firm (he has a dual background in finance) or go into private practice. We are fantasizing about a change of pace.

You only live once, OP. We made a major move across the country after fantasizing about it for a few years - best decision we ever made. Here's something that helped us that might help you: It is not a permanent decision.

It FEELS like a permanent decision. And it is a big decision, and one that can be tough to unwind. But it's not impossible. It's not truly permanent. Calculate what you would really lose if you ended up hating it and moving back... how long do you think it would take your DH to find new work (would his current practice take him back)? Are you planning on buying a house right away? What would that cost to sell? What would moving costs there and back cost?

For us, we calculated the risk was really only in the neighborhood of maybe $15k, as we were renting on both ends at the time we made the move. But even if the cost could be $50k or something... isn't that worth it to take a risk and try a different pace of life if you think that's what you want?

I do recommend renting when you move somewhere. It's hard, and it sucks because you don't feel settled and you know you have to move again, but it is SO hard to gauge different areas when you are just visiting for a week at a time. I really recommend renting for at least 6 months when you move somewhere new. And EXPECT some culture shock, especially if you didn't grow up there! The littlest things will seem odd to you - for us, the way you merge on and off of highways, the way the street lights are turned (horizontal instead of vertical and not many lights on the caddy-corner of the intersection), and the way the car tags/title/license/drivers license system is run here really threw us for a loop! It's just stuff like that, you get used to it but at first you feel like you're in a different country almost.

[Anonymous]

I am from St. Louis City and have fought with myself over returning there several times. After grad school, the plan was to return. I interviewed there, flew home for second and third interviews, and ultimately decided the adventure wasn't over for me yet. I now see it as a wonderful place to raise kids because of the slower paced life, great cost of living, and the numerous number of weekend trips we could take to various cities and national parks. I ended up choosing to move to the coast for a few years and will reassess once kids are imminent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from WI, so am probably biased, but think living in Mpls, Madison, or Chicago would be fantastic (I dream of moving back to Mpls). The pp is absolutely right- the winters are long and cold- colder than you can imagine on some days. But, the cities often have a lot of outdoor activities that you can do outside to combat the SAD if you dress correctly. Summers are glorious, albeit short.

The schools in Mpls are pretty good, the cost of living is fantastic, and the people are genuinely nice. Chicago seems maybe a little more exciting and somewhat warmer. I love the smaller feel of Madison, but only lived there when in college, so not sure what the vibe is like as a non-student. Also, the governor sucks.I should say, I'm speaking only of the cities themselves; these cities have huge suburbs and those don't appeal to me at all.

Former Wisconsinite here. That right there. The politics was a HUGE driving force behind our decision to leave

[Anonymous]

We are working like hell to find jobs back in the Twin Cities. Go, go, go. And you could even go to Des Moines - people there love it. At the risk of alienating the "Rah rah DC!" people, there's a quality of life there that is almost wholly absent. A degree of friendliness and reality, maybe? It's an ineffable quality that I can't quite explain.