Some honest opinions about relocating to the midwest?

[Anonymous]

We left Cincinnati in 2007. I would not return but my circumstance is 100% different than the OP's. I am in a minority group and in my hometown the level of segregation is such that its difficult to prove you are competent. I also found I was living in a area with either have not's or basic middle class suburbianites with connections to certain neighborhoods and HIGH SCHOOLS!. Here the question "Where did you go to school?"---it is all about HS and class and upbringing. It is hard for outsiders to fit in.

My husband is from St. Louis and never really fit in the Cincy clique. We got tired of the low paying "Bank" jobs that came our way. We were "odd", because we wanted more and finding a job there IS a real struggle.

OP, I suggest you go on City Data and look under forums for any area you find interest in. The threads will quickly give you a feel of how the locals think and feel about their town. I DO miss the lower cost of living but I do not miss the constant sports talk, and a lot of people there are not fond of "DC" for political reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We left Cincinnati in 2007. I would not return but my circumstance is 100% different than the OP's. I am in a minority group and in my hometown the level of segregation is such that its difficult to prove you are competent. I also found I was living in a area with either have not's or basic middle class suburbianites with connections to certain neighborhoods and HIGH SCHOOLS!. Here the question "Where did you go to school?"---it is all about HS and class and upbringing. It is hard for outsiders to fit in.

My husband is from St. Louis and never really fit in the Cincy clique. We got tired of the low paying "Bank" jobs that came our way. We were "odd", because we wanted more and finding a job there IS a real struggle.

OP, I suggest you go on City Data and look under forums for any area you find interest in. The threads will quickly give you a feel of how the locals think and feel about their town. I DO miss the lower cost of living but I do not miss the constant sports talk, and a lot of people there are not fond of "DC" for political reasons.

I have several gfs who relocated to cincy. My impressions:

-almost everyone grew up there, went to school there, is raising a family there. Hard to find people who spent meaningful time elsewhere
-travel, especially foreign, is not a huge priority
-massive drinking
-once people hit the baby years, they are totally obsessive about babies and everything is about family time
-hard to make new friends as it is very insular

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you have a pre-existing network there, it can be a great move. A good friend of mine spent 10 years grinding it out in Brooklyn. She moved back to Cleveland about 2 years ago and is loving it - fun art/music scene, cheap and interesting housing stock, as an RN she's making waaaaaaaaay above the median income instead of living paycheck-to-paycheck in NYC, etc.

It can be liberating to be a big fish in a small pond.

What in heaven's name was an RN doing living in Brooklyn? And is she enjoying the kind of guy who lives in Cleveland in terms of dating vs. the NYC guy?

Um, NYC has a very large number of world-class hospitals and they need nurses. Where do you think she should have lived, if not Brooklyn? RNs can easily pull $100K in NYC with over-time.
She dates hipster'y artist and musician types. Definitely less of those in Cleveland, but has lots of friends in that scene. She's in NYC every 6 weeks to see friends and party it up. Nurses have really flexible schedules, so she's often working 7 days straight and then has 5 days off. It suits her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, two years ago we left DC for Iowa. Both DH and I are born and raised natives so it was a HUGE move not only for us but for our families as well. Here's what we found:
My base salary increased by 40K, my bonus increased 70K
DH salary decreased by 20K, his bonus stayed the same
Private school tuition for two kids dropped from 52K to 12K
Our 4BR, 3BA brand new house with upgraded everything, acre lot and full landscaping in what is considered 'the best' neighborhood cost 525K
We joined the local golf/tennis/swim club for 3K per year
My daughter's music teacher costs $200/semester for private lessons thru the local university's community music program
My commute is 7 minutes, DH is 12 minutes.
I never drive more than 10 minutes for any errand or shopping.
We have made a lot of really good friends, so many that we're woefully behind on reciprocating invitations so we need to have a big patio party soon.

To be honest, we were really apprehensive, but we've been here 2 years and you couldn't pay us enough to move back to the rat race. I know people will prattle on about museums, etc. but in all honesty, how often did you avail yourself to all the cultural aspects of the city? If you find that yes, you take full advantage of the museums, ballet, theater, etc. then you probably wont' be happy here. If not, you may find you have a lot to gain in a slower paced environment.

To another point, yes, there is the keep up with the Jones' everywhere you go, but the Jones' have less here then they do in DC so keeping up is pretty easy. That and people think its really tacky to talk about how your kid is taking calculus in the 7th grade

The state college system is pretty good. If you are an Iowa resident and your kid scores decently on exams and grades they can go to one of the 3 state universities for peanuts. Most of the Iowa private colleges (including Grinnell where DS is going in the fall) offer Iowa kids generous scholarships just for being Iowan.

All in all, its not for everyone but its worth checking out. West Des Moines is very nice, lots of jobs and tons of growth going on right now.

Good luck

Not OP, but what is the weather like in Iowa? I hate cold and long winters. I've always had that impression of Iowa. But maybe I'm wrong.

Not going to lie, it gets cold but not as cold as you might think and people here really don't pay attention to it. The summers are great, Iowans complain about humidity but it is NOT humid by our standards and there's an almost constant slight breeze all summer long. People here are very outdoorsy so biking, hiking, swimming, running, walking, golf, tennis, etc. are huge. Wintertime you see snowmobiling, cross country skiing and for the really brave, ice fishing. January and February people seem to hibernate but once March hits everyone is outside. Our whole city is connected by a wide, well lit, paved and well maintained walk/bike trail. You never see any bikes on the road because they have their own version of streets. More than you wanted to know, but I'm trying to say the cold does not preclude getting outside and having a great lifestyle. Oh, everyone here seems to have a heated garage and I can say, once you have that - there's no going back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from DC to Cincinnati a couple years ago. We're mostly happy with the decision. We both got pay raises, the parks here are wonderful, and the people are very friendly. We miss access to the ocean, but hopefully a few vacations to the beach can help. The weather is extremely similar to DC, so no change there. Our kids are still really little, and daycare is fairly affordable. We pay $500/week for two kids. All considered, I'm happy we made the move.

I live in Cincinnati now and love it. Winters aren't too bad and very bearable. Cost of living is great, as well as schools. Love the art museum,theaters, parks , hiking, restaurants (diverse!).

[Anonymous]

OP one thing I do when I am entertaining the thought experiment of moving someplace, is put that place on the Weather app on my phone. Informative to scroll through and see: DC: 75; Iowa City: 60, San Fran: 59, Austin: 80 (or whatever).

[Anonymous]

It depends on your personalities, OP, and how much you can tolerate the cold. I'm over 50, and I could not tolerate the cold in the midwest, so we moved back to the East Coast, and ended up in the DC area because that's where DH found a job (I SAH).

You couldn't pay me to move back to the midwest. No way, never, ever. I love it in the summer and fall (we go every year to visit), but I will not endure a midwestern winter ever again. That kind of cold cracks your bones. It's much harder to take as you get older.

I grew up in the midwest, and I do appreciate the slower lifestyle, But while I was there, I lived in the Republican suburbs where no one ever heard of NPR, and no one read the NYT. Conversations at parties were stilted to say the least. DH and I couldn't wait to leave.

If I were forced (for some reason) to move back there, I'd find where all the liberals live, probably in a walkable, artsy part of the city. Minneapolis, Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Des Moines, pick one. All cold, but they do have culture and sophistication. Just not as much as in DC. Good food, though, so you won't starve, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from DC to Cincinnati a couple years ago. We're mostly happy with the decision. We both got pay raises, the parks here are wonderful, and the people are very friendly. We miss access to the ocean, but hopefully a few vacations to the beach can help. The weather is extremely similar to DC, so no change there. Our kids are still really little, and daycare is fairly affordable. We pay $500/week for two kids. All considered, I'm happy we made the move.

No mention of the world class opportunities you have in DC.

NP here. Do you mean jobs? Those opportunities are overstated. For every one opportunity here, there are about a million applicants. Degrees -- even high-level degrees from well-respected institutions -- are meaningless because everyone has them. It's impossible to get ahead without knowing someone. So there's heavy pressure to schmooze.

Or do you mean the world class venues, like the Smithsonian? Well, good luck enjoying a peaceful day when the weather is good. I love the Smithsonian and I love festivals, but I can't take the extreme crowds anymore. I went to some Cherry Blossom events and ended up just getting home as soon as I could. The crowds were so thick, it was oppressive. There are truly wonderful things in downtown DC, but for people like me, who don't do well in heavy crowds, it actually makes DC a worse place to live than some small town because I end up not wanting to do anything or go anywhere because between either the crowded public transit or the horrible traffic and then the huge swarms of people at the event, I ended up exasperated and drained.

You don't have to be for DC or against DC. There are lots of wonderful places to live with different things to offer. I feel like any time someone tries to say nice things about living somewhere else, people come on here and act like DC is the only place in the country where anyone with a brain would want to live, and that's just not true. In fact, I often feel like the politics in DC kind of squash the intellectual potential because *everything* is political. It's impossible to escape it. And even the most open-minded friends I have here also tend to be hyper political and so I always feel guarded in what I say.

I think there are great things about DC, but having worked in DC for years and lived on the outskirts for years, I feel there are also many things about DC that are oppressive. It's a different kind of oppressive than what you find in a small town, but it is still oppressive. I feel like it's impossible to escape politics. Everyone has a cause. Everyone is easily offended. Every word is loaded. Everyone seems "on" all of the time. There is so much intense networking. I feel like people around here collect friends they think will be useful to them in some way. It's very difficult to really know who is genuinely your friend and who will drop you the minute you either disagree or prove not useful.

I even tried spending time in a more new-agey circle. But I found the same kind of dynamic.

And I don't think people in DC are any less judgmental than people in small towns.

I would love to leave DC, but my job is rooted here. My husband has more flexibility because he works for a larger company with offices in different cities. But I would have a difficult time finding the kind of job I have here. Sometimes I regret letting myself get backed into a corner career-wise. It's even hard to move around within the DC area because there are so many applicants, and it seems you really have to have a connection on the inside.

I don't hate DC. But I feel pretty certain I'd be happier somewhere else, somewhere less populated, less congested, more working class, even with a larger percentage of blue collar. I'm sure I'd get frustrated because people are people. But I think I'd have less daily aggravation. The commute, the traffic, the crowds. It's just too much.

Even my friends. They are good people, but they have all become so hyper political and hyper judgmental. It's exhausting.

cherry blossom is one of the busiest times ever

The entire spring -- when the weather is actually pleasant enough that you want to walk around -- is busy. If you can't enjoy the amenities when the weather is good, what good are the amenities? I'm sorry, I've been here a long time. I work in DC. It's ALWAYS packed and crowded, but it is even more crowded when the events happen that you want to attend or when you actually would want to do those things. One year, I even went to the Smithsonian in January -- when it was cold -- and it was still crowded because all the kids were out of school. So the actual times when I actually have a chance to go downtown are the times when it's unbearable to go.

My point is that all of the "amenities" and "culture" that supposedly make all of the bad things tolerable are not as easy to access (or as pleasant to access) for people who don't like fighting crowds and traffic and tourists.

Personally, if I could relocate job-wise, I would. And then I'd just visit DC every now and again. But the argument that is thrown out time and time again about "how could you live anywhere else when there's so much culture here?" falls short with me because the traffic, the congestion make it difficult for me to enjoy those things. So I really only do so a few times a year, which I could easily do as a weekend trip to DC once a year if I lived somewhere else.

But, sadly, as I wrote in my post, my job is a very niche job, and I am kind of stuck here.

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me homesick (all the people who have clearly never lived in the Midwest? please, keep your misconceptions and stay the hell out of the Midwest; I've had enough of your kind in the last 12 years) for the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The entire spring -- when the weather is actually pleasant enough that you want to walk around -- is busy. If you can't enjoy the amenities when the weather is good, what good are the amenities? I'm sorry, I've been here a long time. I work in DC. It's ALWAYS packed and crowded, but it is even more crowded when the events happen that you want to attend or when you actually would want to do those things. One year, I even went to the Smithsonian in January -- when it was cold -- and it was still crowded because all the kids were out of school. So the actual times when I actually have a chance to go downtown are the times when it's unbearable to go.

My point is that all of the "amenities" and "culture" that supposedly make all of the bad things tolerable are not as easy to access (or as pleasant to access) for people who don't like fighting crowds and traffic and tourists.

Personally, if I could relocate job-wise, I would. And then I'd just visit DC every now and again. But the argument that is thrown out time and time again about "how could you live anywhere else when there's so much culture here?" falls short with me because the traffic, the congestion make it difficult for me to enjoy those things. So I really only do so a few times a year, which I could easily do as a weekend trip to DC once a year if I lived somewhere else.

But, sadly, as I wrote in my post, my job is a very niche job, and I am kind of stuck here.

+1
So many of the much-vaunted "culture" here is just inaccessible. And if I never had to drive on a clogged Beltway or 66 again...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP one thing I do when I am entertaining the thought experiment of moving someplace, is put that place on the Weather app on my phone. Informative to scroll through and see: DC: 75; Iowa City: 60, San Fran: 59, Austin: 80 (or whatever).

I'm north of Iowa City and it's 77 right now, DD is at a pool party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No never.Used to live in Milwaukee.

This is a city we talked about, any specific reasons why?

Ghost town .Very strange.Big buildings but noone walks on the streets.Now the best place to live for schools would be north shore area(Shorewood,fox point etc),while houses are beautiful and inexpensive a lot of them for sale.We still can't sell our house there.Weather is terrible year round.You get one month of warmth(July).People are big drinkers.You will be surprised to see so many functional alchoholics.

Define "warmth." Minnesota native here and I'll grant you that the summers there are nothing like the summers here, but c'mon, more months than July are warm.

I lived in Minneapolis for four years. I grew up in Arkansas. By my reckoning, it started getting warm in May and stayed nice throughout June, July, and August. The earliest snow I saw was on Halloween. The latest snow I saw was early May.

Minnesotans make the most of it, though. Ice fishing, cross country skiing, snow mobiling. They are sort of nuts.

[Anonymous]

If you have family in Iowa, you would do very well with the St. Louis suburbs (decent job market, cheap housing, good schools) or Kansas City (ditto).

If you want a small town experience with train access to a big city, the outer burbs on the NW side of Chicago (McHenry County), might work well for you. Housing is cheap compared to DC, but much more expensive than St. Louis or KC.

You could also look at Indianapolis, but I don't know much about living there. I just go to Gencon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from DC to Cincinnati a couple years ago. We're mostly happy with the decision. We both got pay raises, the parks here are wonderful, and the people are very friendly. We miss access to the ocean, but hopefully a few vacations to the beach can help. The weather is extremely similar to DC, so no change there. Our kids are still really little, and daycare is fairly affordable. We pay $500/week for two kids. All considered, I'm happy we made the move.

I live in Cincinnati now and love it. Winters aren't too bad and very bearable. Cost of living is great, as well as schools. Love the art museum,theaters, parks , hiking, restaurants (diverse!).

Do you eat Goetta and play corn hole now?
How much is the Zoo admission plus parking? Or the museum center for a family of 4 plus parking? reds games? Bengals, never winning a Super Bowl?
How is the Heroin epidemic being managed there? My BFF is a RN there and the drug OD's are out of control-these are suburban whites OD'ing on Heroin.
How diverse is your neighborhood and job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left Cincinnati in 2007. I would not return but my circumstance is 100% different than the OP's. I am in a minority group and in my hometown the level of segregation is such that its difficult to prove you are competent. I also found I was living in a area with either have not's or basic middle class suburbianites with connections to certain neighborhoods and HIGH SCHOOLS!. Here the question "Where did you go to school?"---it is all about HS and class and upbringing. It is hard for outsiders to fit in.

My husband is from St. Louis and never really fit in the Cincy clique. We got tired of the low paying "Bank" jobs that came our way. We were "odd", because we wanted more and finding a job there IS a real struggle.

OP, I suggest you go on City Data and look under forums for any area you find interest in. The threads will quickly give you a feel of how the locals think and feel about their town. I DO miss the lower cost of living but I do not miss the constant sports talk, and a lot of people there are not fond of "DC" for political reasons.

I have several gfs who relocated to cincy. My impressions:

-almost everyone grew up there, went to school there, is raising a family there. Hard to find people who spent meaningful time elsewhere
-travel, especially foreign, is not a huge priority
-massive drinking
-once people hit the baby years, they are totally obsessive about babies and everything is about family time
-hard to make new friends as it is very insular

Yes, I am the PP from the Cleveland area and I can tell you this is spot-on for Cleveland as well except maybe not quite as obsessively family oriented (as Cincinnati/southwest OH is conservative and family-oriented in general compared to Columbus and Cleveland). Very "who you know," 95% of people grew up there and have the same friends from high school or college, and newcomers are fairly rare apart from maybe the very most upper class suburbs which would draw executives and other really high paid professionals from other regions who transferred there for a job. It's hard to explain if you've always lived in a larger city or some place that draws a lot of transplants like Houston, Denver, etc.