56 and pregnant. ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Tell them what any other person who puts her baby up for adoption. "I put the baby up for adoption" not too hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:obviously accidental. The age concern is an issue to us. We are looking into open adoption.

Now I know you are a COMPLETE weirdo. Holy sh*t.

1) 56 and pregnant
2) rude responses despite shamelessness of AMA thread about it
3) giving baby up for freaking adoption (when not necessary).

wow. just wow.

I don't think that it's weird to consider open adoption at all. To be honest, I would probably have considered abortion if I was in her shoes.

IMHO, if a otherwise capable and SES stable family does not feel up to parenting another child and chooses adoption over abortion, that is an incredibly selfless thing to do. There is a lot of stigma around adoption, everyone will know about the baby, ask about the baby, etc., and it is hard to say honestly we are not up for this, our family is complete and while I love this child I think the best thing for this child is to give him/her up for adoption. She is talking about an open adoption. My hat is off to OP.

I guess I disagree. If I were the kid, to learn down the road that my birth family was "capable and SES stable" yet still gave me away . .. yikes! That would cause some serious trauma/anger issues, I think.

Unless you also learned that your birth parents were in their fifties when you were born and wanted you to have a more typical childhood and parents. Also, the OP is looking into open adoption, which means (I believe) that the child would know about and possibly have a relationship with OP and her husband. I think adoption is a selfless and beautiful thing that humans can do for one another. OP, I wish you and your family a lot of luck.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP,

Whatever road you take, I advise you strongly to get full genetic testing done sooner rather than later, as well as all ultrasounds, even though you may be afraid that doing this will increase the bond you have with your unborn child and make adoption that much more difficult. Knowledge will give you more options: you might need a potentially life-saving medical procedures done to the baby in the womb!

There are also some rare and terrible malformations that can cause pain for the baby at birth while ensuring an early death (within days), and these babies should ethically-speaking not be brought to term, since carrying them to term prolongs their suffering. Such malformations are rare, but then you are experiencing rare fertility yourself, so you know that anything can happen.

Arm yourself with knowledge and prepare for the roller-coaster. People will judge, no matter what you decide, but the ones you meet in real life will be much more polite than the ones on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only ethical option here is abortion.

That's ridiculous, a huge reach, and I suspect you're trolling. OP, if real (and like others I have doubts) has not indicated that this child would have any major medical issues that might make life very painful. She and her spouse have decided to give this child up to a family who, presumably, would be young enough to better keep up with and help raise a child. They are also planning on an open adoption and keeping in contact.
I'm as pro choice as they come, but the choice made here was life. Now the OP may change their minds, and that's their prerogative.
But the only ethical option? Hardly.

I disagree and stand by what I said, with a clarification: The only option that will not cause pain and hardship to the child is abortion.

NP here. I'm glad my birth parents didn't see abortion as the only option and I can assure you that being adopted hasn't brought me any pain or hardship.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it's super generous to consider adoption. I don't understand the posters who seem to feel angry that you're pregnant, and then also angry that you're considering adoption. If they're angry that you're too old for a baby, why don't they see that it's nice you're considering allowing the baby to be adopted? Mothers who are too young to raise a child give up their babies for adoption. Why can't parents who are too old to feel they can raise a child well do the same thing?
I know it won't be easy and I admire the decision. I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd have had an early abortion, because I would worry about the health risks and responsibilities as I aged. But if for some reason i had to have the baby, I would never be so generous as to give it up. (I would definitely have had the genetic tests, also, but that doesn't mean I think everyone should decide the same way I would.)

Seems like some posters are more outraged at your pregnancy than they would be at that of someone else. Do they think 56 year old women don't have sex, or that they can't get pregnant?