Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in school, disruptive kids were not much of an issue because the school and the teachers were extremely good at managing them. If there was a disruption, the teacher could remove the child quickly from the classroom and the lesson would continue.

My experience with private schools nowadays, through my child, has been very different. I see several disruptive kids who are not being effectively managed by the teacher, and those kids are eventually expelled.

So my question is: which approach is better overall? To me, there seems to be a trend toward shifting responsibility for classroom management from the teacher to the students. What do you think?

It really depends on how you define 'disruptive.' A bit of naughty behavior every now and then shouldn't earn a kid a negative label. I’ve seen many teachers call students disruptive just because they didn't follow an instruction exactly or got caught up in what another student was doing. Sometimes, teachers group kids together and label them all based on who they’re sitting with. If you happen to be talking to the 'wrong' person, you’re suddenly the problem. At the end of the day, not all teachers are great at managing a classroom, and just because they’re in charge doesn’t mean students can't voice a different perspective .

That's always happened and it's an unfortunate manifestation of human nature. The goal should be to do better and remember that all people, but kids especially, have the capacity to grow and change. But when parents, and consultants, push broad overly defensive nonsense like there is no free will then the social contract breaks down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

[Anonymous]

The kids and their parents. Literally the Wild West. No filters on behavior, speech, anything. Schools absolutely will not discipline at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

No school disciplined kids at any level unless a weapon is involved. They are worried about their jobs and lawsuits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen four teachers at my child’s elementary school control the classroom without raising their voice. I asked my child how this is done and my child said the students don’t misbehave because they don’t want to disappoint the teacher. There is one teacher at the school who is always screaming at the kids and clearly does not know how to manage the classroom. This teacher is an authoritarian jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

Nope. In private school we counsel out the kids who behave poorly. Being a parent is fundamentally about responsibility. If you do not accept that, your kid gets counseled out. The parents then have to find a new school for the kid. The behavior problem is up to the parents to solve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

Nope. In private school we counsel out the kids who behave poorly. Being a parent is fundamentally about responsibility. If you do not accept that, your kid gets counseled out. The parents then have to find a new school for the kid. The behavior problem is up to the parents to solve.

Then what do you disagree with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

Nope. In private school we counsel out the kids who behave poorly. Being a parent is fundamentally about responsibility. If you do not accept that, your kid gets counseled out. The parents then have to find a new school for the kid. The behavior problem is up to the parents to solve.

Then what do you disagree with?

Every issue regarding behavioral problems is fundamentally about the parents.

[Anonymous]

It’s impossible to remove a child from DCPS. It is also impossible to remove a teacher from DCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s impossible to remove a child from DCPS. It is also impossible to remove a teacher from DCPS.

This thread is about private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

Nope. In private school we counsel out the kids who behave poorly. Being a parent is fundamentally about responsibility. If you do not accept that, your kid gets counseled out. The parents then have to find a new school for the kid. The behavior problem is up to the parents to solve.

Then what do you disagree with?

Every issue regarding behavioral problems is fundamentally about the parents.

You're not making sense. The acts themselves are the fundamental issue. It's ultimately up to schools to set their own standards and for kids to meet those standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the parent’s responsibility to have their kid’s behavior under control. Nobody else.

The kid, assuming they are older than 8, also has some responsibility for their own choices and actions.

Who raised that kid? Whose responsible for correcting their behavior? The parent.

Schools are responsible for setting behavioral expectations inside school.
Students are responsible for meeting those behavioral expectations inside school.
Parents are responsible for setting their own behavioral expectations for their kids and their kids' behavior outside school.

This isn't a moral issue or a discussion of cause. It's a practical constraint. Fault is irrelevant. Schools have no ability or lever, short of dismissal, to hold parents responsible for their kids' behavior inside school. What can a school do? Suspend parents from the PTA?

I disagree. Parents are responsible for ensuring their kids meet behavioral expectations everywhere.

I think you're getting hung up on the word responsible and confusing it with blame.

Nope. In private school we counsel out the kids who behave poorly. Being a parent is fundamentally about responsibility. If you do not accept that, your kid gets counseled out. The parents then have to find a new school for the kid. The behavior problem is up to the parents to solve.

Then what do you disagree with?

Every issue regarding behavioral problems is fundamentally about the parents.

My experience suggests that isn't true. Growing up I knew kids who were hellions, who had parents who were anything but.