So you let your kids read at the dining table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would depend on why they wanted to read. I remember being forced to sit at the table with my parents to "be a family" but then they spent the whole time talking about their work to each other and we weren't really allowed to say anything. And they took forever to finish. It was super boring and did not make us a better family. They probably would not have allowed me to read, but it never occurred to me to ask.

We allowed this when younger and at long extended family dinners with no kids table.

[Anonymous]

The flaming here is astounding.

We allow it for at-home meals if the kids are super immersed in whatever they’re reading. I grew up with an introverted mom who basically never stopped reading, and I recall many nice evenings spent next to her at the table while both of us read quietly. My family is different but I still like the sight of my kids plunging into a book they can’t put down. We allow spend a ton of time together besides dinner, so we get a lot of conversation time otherwise. (Plus sometimes it’s nice to be able to catch up with my husband over dinner on grown-up stuff.)

The kids don’t bring books to the table for formal dinners, or dinners with grandparents, guests, etc. Ive taught them etiquette at home and they follow those rules very well when it matters. But I won’t insist on perfect adherence to every rule when we are doing a casual dinner together.

As far as manners—some of you who seem so focused on reading at the table being low class/poor behavior in all contexts need to relearn actual good manners. The insults and faux snobbery are the height of awful manners.

[Anonymous]

Breakfast, sure, no problem. Family dinner, nope. We talk about family things though, and kids can leave the table when they're done eating, we don't force them to stay.

[Anonymous]

I think some of us forget how many introverts are in the world and they prefer not to interact with people as much as others. Most people find it odd that some prefer to read instead of socializing but as long as everyone in the family agrees no one else should care

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would allow it. I am an avid reader and I love reading during meal time.

[Anonymous]

At home, no. In restaurants, yes. Eventually, about 6th-7th grade, they stopped reading during those meals on their own. Only paper books, no electronics though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of us forget how many introverts are in the world and they prefer not to interact with people as much as others. Most people find it odd that some prefer to read instead of socializing but as long as everyone in the family agrees no one else should care

Thank you for this. We are two extroverts raising an introvert that rather be with books more than anything. At times it’s hard for us to understand and seems borderline rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at dinner when we all catch up and have conversation. Lunch or breakfast? Sure.

Same in our family!

[Anonymous]

We do with my older one in third grade. He is super into reading though. The only rule is be careful to not get food on the book. Once there was a crumb stuck to a few.pages and the library almost made me buy the book.