What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

It is awful. I already told MIL "what were you thinking about inviting a bunch of addicts to a house with young children?" She responded with "you can't pick your family." They are her sister's kids, she somehow feels responsible for them. They are all in their 30s and 40s, how much responsibility can a 76-yo woman possibly take upon herself? Once an addict, always an addict.

With young children especially, she should have given you the information before you decided to go. I’m very much for reconciliation and grace, but it sounds like new, fragile sobriety, and I think opting out with young kids is valid.

It is nearly impossible to find a place that doesn't cost an arm and a leg at the last minute. The more I think about it, the more I want to take the kids, get a rental car and start driving back to DC. She is obviously within her rights to host whoever she wants but this is her only son, her only grandkids, she should've known better.

You probably should have put the word "forgot" in quotations. There was no forgetting. She purposely waited until you were already there.

Yes, quotations are a must, I agree. She did it on purpose. I am getting really riled up here. I took extra time off work so that we could get a week worth of beach time. I should've just gone to my sister's house in Massachusetts for the holidays. Sure, the weather is crappy but at least there is no drama, no addicts, and no lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL refuses to buy foods that the kids like and then makes us feel terrible because our kids are bad eaters. I’m not talking about sugared cereal (gasp!) or spaghetti-os level “kid food.” She made beef stew last night and tonight we are having fish because she got a good deal at the store (and because SHE likes that). The house is a museum and no games of any kind left over from Ds and three sibs. I’m not even sure they were allowed to sleep in the house as children (I know the dog wasn’t).

I don't know about this one...I grew up having to eat the same "adult" food as adults and have my kids do the same. We don't do separate meals and that has expanded my kids palate.

We don’t do separate “kid meals” either and kids are really not particularly picky, but it’s like she goes out of her way to make the visit as unpleasant as possible and the food is one aspect of this. We are on “vacation” and I just don’t want to deal with kids who are grumpy because they didn’t eat (there is also a strict no snacks in the house rule). I’m just asking she meets the kids a smidge of the way with something like grilled meat and salad or really any kind of pasta.

Get your own food to cook and buy snacks.
No way someone is going to tell me I cannot eat snacks or food that I provide myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We left my MIL alone in our house for a few hours yesterday while we were running errands. Later that evening, in front of the whole family, she asked what was "in the red container in the basement freezer."

The lady obviously snooped the whole house while we were gone AND THEN told on herself. (The basement is creepy and down a steep flight of stairs and she had absolutely no reason to go down there.) Lesson learned about who to leave alone, I guess.

HA! My MIL was this way every time she visited so I purchased a bunch of items from a sex toy store and left them in our dresser drawers and nightstand on husband's side of the bed. She stopped.

I hope you don’t always just leave them in your dresser drawers and husband’s nightstand! 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

How old are your kids that you expect them to sleep until 9am or later? 6:40 is a typical waking time for young kids and it sounds like they were staying in their room. I’d be interested to hear your SILs take on this visit.

All three of my kids are professional sleepers at 5, 7, 9. If we let them they'll sleep until 10 every morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We left my MIL alone in our house for a few hours yesterday while we were running errands. Later that evening, in front of the whole family, she asked what was "in the red container in the basement freezer."

The lady obviously snooped the whole house while we were gone AND THEN told on herself. (The basement is creepy and down a steep flight of stairs and she had absolutely no reason to go down there.) Lesson learned about who to leave alone, I guess.

Currently at my MIL's house where my nightstand get rummaged through every day. I have no idea what she thinks she'll find because I keep the weed I brought in the garage. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

It is awful. I already told MIL "what were you thinking about inviting a bunch of addicts to a house with young children?" She responded with "you can't pick your family." They are her sister's kids, she somehow feels responsible for them. They are all in their 30s and 40s, how much responsibility can a 76-yo woman possibly take upon herself? Once an addict, always an addict.

Are they actively using during the meal, stealing the tv or talking about drugs?
If they are in recovery what is the issue?
I understand not enabling addiction, or being the victim of one but WTF with hating someone because they are an addict?!

[Anonymous]

Hello my garbage sisters! My mom monitors the trash cans and walks trash to the outside can regularly, too. There's a grocery bag hanging where the kitchen and livingroom connect as the house's main trash bag. This way, as soon as it fills, she can take it to the outside can.

When I visit I bring my own bag, keep it hidden in the guest room, and sneak it out with me at the end so she doesn't obsess.

[Anonymous]

We still don’t know what’s in the red container

We have one entry for deceased pet
I’ll throw my hat in the ring for a stool sample

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello my garbage sisters! My mom monitors the trash cans and walks trash to the outside can regularly, too. There's a grocery bag hanging where the kitchen and livingroom connect as the house's main trash bag. This way, as soon as it fills, she can take it to the outside can.

When I visit I bring my own bag, keep it hidden in the guest room, and sneak it out with me at the end so she doesn't obsess.

Who knew there were so many people obsessed with garbage?!?!

[Anonymous]

Y'all do realize that all of these hilarious stories are going to be us one day, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We still don’t know what’s in the red container

We have one entry for deceased pet
I’ll throw my hat in the ring for a stool sample

Placenta, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still don’t know what’s in the red container

We have one entry for deceased pet
I’ll throw my hat in the ring for a stool sample

Placenta, obviously.

Good call

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

If they are all addicts she is probably right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are obsessed with the garbage too. To a point I get it - they are in the South where you have the giant roaches - palmetto bugs. But there house is so clean. I'm like relax for a week or few days while we are there. Everything goes down the disposal that can - if it is a banana cut the stem off. If it is smelly it immediately gets double bagged and put into the garbage. We are all afraid to throw anything out and tend to just leave piles of stuff by the kitchen sink.

Only they can clean up the kitchen. Or cook. To be fair - they buy good food and are awesome cooks. But you can't help. Then they complain about how tired they are. I try to remind them that they trained me how to load a dishwasher but its not good enough.

Can't drive their cars anymore - this is new one - because it new car is too complicated and we can't manage it. Nevermind that we had the same car in stick.

Can't have a key to their house because they only have one good one. But, the door must always be locked. Can't go out for exercise and not lock the door.

Never enough food in the house and if there are good left-overs - you cannot eat them. I used to do grocery runs but now not allowed to drive car. And yes, next time I will rent a car but again - this is a new one. Had to Uber to see friends last visit.

Cannot open a second bottle of wine if it might not all get drunk but also not allowed to bring your own wine because they have plenty.

We have a similar key situation at my mom's. There are two good keys but we are not allowed to borrow my parents' keychains. Fortunately I still have my housekey from when I was in high school, so if I need to run an errand or go for a run, I use that. But I can't tell my mom that I have a key because she will have a total freakout about a "good" key that is out in general circulation.

My parents also have doors that cannot be opened because they might not close again. You basically walk around their house holding your breath and hoping you don't accidentally violate one of the many rules that may be actually be arbitrary or may be the only reason the house is still standing.

What is a good key?!?

My ILs have forgotten to return our keys more times than I can count. Last time my MIL was here, she forgot again and she had borrowed our daughter’s key because we simply hadn’t gotten around to having yet more sets cut from their previous visit and H insisted she mail it back this time. We had to share house keys for a couple days before it arrived. Where the numerous other keys have gone, I know not. I do blame H for this one as it is now my ritual when they depart to say “John, Sue, we need the keys back.” I wasn’t home for the last visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, we are in Florida for Thanksgiving, no one is cold, house is nice, no need to worry about the meals BUT...MIL invited her nieces and nephews who DH cannot stand and she forgot to tell him about that. Until last night. Until we were already in the house. He is beyond livid. Yes the house is pretty big for everyone but he doesn't want to be in the same room with them. He insists we get another place to stay and just show up for dinner. I am having so much fun with this drama.

We need to know why DH hates his cousins. 🍿

Former addicts (meth, alcohol, you name it - they've done in). Apparently they are on the road to recovery, AA, rehabs. According to MIL, "they didn't have an easy life". According to DH, "that's such BS". Doesn't want our kids to be near them.

I’m sorry, that sounds awful.

It is awful. I already told MIL "what were you thinking about inviting a bunch of addicts to a house with young children?" She responded with "you can't pick your family." They are her sister's kids, she somehow feels responsible for them. They are all in their 30s and 40s, how much responsibility can a 76-yo woman possibly take upon herself? Once an addict, always an addict.

Are they actively using during the meal, stealing the tv or talking about drugs?
If they are in recovery what is the issue?
I understand not enabling addiction, or being the victim of one but WTF with hating someone because they are an addict?!

Call me a snob, but I don't want my family to be surrounded by addicts, holidays or not. I don't condone it. They claim they are in recovery but had many stints in rehab. No, I don't want them around my young , vulnerable children. I've interacted with them before, they are not pleasant people to be around.