Why aren’t males attending college?

[Anonymous]

We chose an all boys school for middle. It was strict with high expectations and dress code. It also allowed for a lot of movement and sport. Explicit study skills techniques and training were emphasized.

He got a phone at the start of 7th. It’s in the kitchen by 8pm. Does his homework when he gets home. Games occasionally for a break if the homework is too much.

Grew 12 inches in 3 years during middle school. Pimples. Braces. The whole thing. With no girls around. Such a relief. And the boys didn’t care.

Then back to coed high school with good habits established and awkwardness in the rear view. I didn’t want him in an all boys environment as he aged up. He sought out likeminded peers, male and female, in high school. They all stayed on track.

But middle school? That’s the window where you set the path. I don’t know how to fix the bigger picture for all boys. But this is something you can do for yours if you like the plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely agree gaming at a young age and what that’s done to attention spans and socialization coupled with teen years sucked into an echo chamber on their phones.

OK, but it's not like girls aren't obsessively poking at their phones all the time, so that's not it.

Sure, but think of the difference in content that’s being pushed to them. I’m guessing it’s a slightly less steady diet of porn, violence, and misogynistic trash talk that girls are stewing in. Less likely to feel ashamed, hopeless, and wronged all at the same time.

It's not like society is sending women a message that they are being oppressed or anything?

[Anonymous]

OK- just a working theory with no data to back this up… but the “whole word” reading approach really hosed a whole swath of kids of which boys are typically more vulnerable readers than girls. Fast forward… your crew of struggling readers that were never taught phonics all the way and have now always been behind the 8 ball in the classroom. Setting the stage for poor academics and more likely disinterested in the high school classroom that was already set up for girls. By 12th grade these boys are done and want to be working or outside the classroom where they can be successful at something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely agree gaming at a young age and what that’s done to attention spans and socialization coupled with teen years sucked into an echo chamber on their phones.

OK, but it's not like girls aren't obsessively poking at their phones all the time, so that's not it.

Sure, but think of the difference in content that’s being pushed to them. I’m guessing it’s a slightly less steady diet of porn, violence, and misogynistic trash talk that girls are stewing in. Less likely to feel ashamed, hopeless, and wronged all at the same time.

Distraction is distraction. It erodes your attention span no matter what the content is. Plus the girls are getting their high levels of anxiety and depression from somewhere, and where else but social media / the internet?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Not many of those around anymore. It’s interesting there are still several prominent all women’s colleges. In fact I think there are 30 all women colleges to 4 all men.

Correction, 26 all women colleges to 3 all men.

Of the 26 all women colleges, 7 are in the top 50 for LACs. Of the 3 all men, 0 are.

A high-prestige all-male LAC could not exist. Men wouldn't be allowed to keep such a college. Women would demand admission to it, and they would get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK- just a working theory with no data to back this up… but the “whole word” reading approach really hosed a whole swath of kids of which boys are typically more vulnerable readers than girls. Fast forward… your crew of struggling readers that were never taught phonics all the way and have now always been behind the 8 ball in the classroom. Setting the stage for poor academics and more likely disinterested in the high school classroom that was already set up for girls. By 12th grade these boys are done and want to be working or outside the classroom where they can be successful at something.

Or it could be that they dumbed down the SAT, which boys were traditionally much better at, so that girls could get comparable "high" scores in order to make some of them have the same scores as the top scoring boys. Lowering the difficulty ceiling to harmonize the genders. This is why a score of 1350 30 years ago equals 1550+ today. Now every kid is grade inflated to a 4.5 GPA and they all have 1500s in their SATs so you can't differentiate who is actually smart. When that doesn't work, you just say screw it and make applications TO and holistically select for certain people through essays and gender-specific ECs and awards that only girls are allowed to partake in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely agree gaming at a young age and what that’s done to attention spans and socialization coupled with teen years sucked into an echo chamber on their phones.

OK, but it's not like girls aren't obsessively poking at their phones all the time, so that's not it.

Sure, but think of the difference in content that’s being pushed to them. I’m guessing it’s a slightly less steady diet of porn, violence, and misogynistic trash talk that girls are stewing in. Less likely to feel ashamed, hopeless, and wronged all at the same time.

It's not like society is sending women a message that they are being oppressed or anything?

And yet they persist.

[Anonymous]

https://www.statista.com/statistics/184272/educational-attainment-of-college-diploma-or-higher-by-gender/

Although the percentage of men graduating college has decreased (by .5%), I don't think this is that big of a change. The amount of women going to college has drastically increased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely agree gaming at a young age and what that’s done to attention spans and socialization coupled with teen years sucked into an echo chamber on their phones.

OK, but it's not like girls aren't obsessively poking at their phones all the time, so that's not it.

100% I didn’t add as talking about males. Probably bothers me more than gaming. In my family my son is the hard core academic, not my daughter.

My observation of teens is that the time spent on electronics is mostly scrolling and chatting and watching YouTube; an amount that far outweighs any games they are playing. I'd much prefer some of the good games out there (longer attention span required, problem solving part of the brain engaged, etc.) to the hyper short messaging from phone scrolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So may parents relinquish their boys to the internet and video games from a young age—“that’s just how they socialize!”—and then can’t understand why they end up complete duds by their late teens.

My college boys play video games and are doing fine. Let's focus on the real issues.

It is a real issue. One of the biggest, in my opinion. Attention spans are way down, radical ideology, magical thinking, and/or complete apathy seem to be way up.

And give me a break on the “feminization of education.” I have seen so many things dumbed down and gamified just to try to keep the screen-addled boys engaged.

+100

We seriously limited (and still do for our junior) screen time. We try to keep him from wasting hours on youtube/social media. Phone plugged in kitchen when he gets home. At night--all devices are kept plugged in downstairs. He no longer has any desire to play video games. He was big on Xbox in MS, early HS. Now he never plays---home homework and then 2 hours of sports practice. The change in mood is really noticeable then when he had a lot more phone time. It's a hassle, but building good habits BEFORE they go to college is essential. I have a Freshmen--other than FiFa tournaments--he really didn't play video games either.

SLEEP. Sleep is essential in these teen years. We still did not let them stay up all hours of the night--holidays or summers too.

My oldest is very social in college. Very well-balanced, healthy--plays club sport, tons of friends and doing great in school first semester. He has a roommate a lot like him--that thankfully did not bring a gaming system and cares about health (goes to gym regularly too), and they keep relatively normal schedule. It is an Ivy so you can't be there and not be motivated in school.

I think this is key: DS at Duke is very similar to yours. There is not a lot of gaming and they are serious and motivated students. His HS closest pal went to Penn and describes similar--club sport, still plays his instrument, goes out with a co-ed group of friends just like my Dukie. These schools are competitive but not in a cutthroat way, more like motivation for each other to achieve. That was not too common among males in their public HS, the culture of male academic drive simply was not there

My sons were at an all-male private and it did have the culture of male academic drive.

Not many of those around anymore. It’s interesting there are still several prominent all women’s colleges. In fact I think there are 30 all women colleges to 4 all men.

Correction, 26 all women colleges to 3 all men.

Of the 26 all women colleges, 7 are in the top 50 for LACs. Of the 3 all men, 0 are.

A high-prestige all-male LAC could not exist. Men wouldn't be allowed to keep such a college. Women would demand admission to it, and they would get it.

Can't argue with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The average man can get a lot farther than the average women without going to college.

How come? Can you name any non-college careers open to men but closed to women?

Men go into the trades, which have non-college training options; women go into health care, which requires a degree.

[Anonymous]

They're addicted to tech, phones, and all of those dumb games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're addicted to tech, phones, and all of those dumb games.

Yes. I'm not sure it's much better with girls. Parenting is clearly what matters with this generation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK- just a working theory with no data to back this up… but the “whole word” reading approach really hosed a whole swath of kids of which boys are typically more vulnerable readers than girls. Fast forward… your crew of struggling readers that were never taught phonics all the way and have now always been behind the 8 ball in the classroom. Setting the stage for poor academics and more likely disinterested in the high school classroom that was already set up for girls. By 12th grade these boys are done and want to be working or outside the classroom where they can be successful at something.

Or it could be that they dumbed down the SAT, which boys were traditionally much better at, so that girls could get comparable "high" scores in order to make some of them have the same scores as the top scoring boys. Lowering the difficulty ceiling to harmonize the genders. This is why a score of 1350 30 years ago equals 1550+ today. Now every kid is grade inflated to a 4.5 GPA and they all have 1500s in their SATs so you can't differentiate who is actually smart. When that doesn't work, you just say screw it and make applications TO and holistically select for certain people through essays and gender-specific ECs and awards that only girls are allowed to partake in.

"Every" kid has a 4.5 and 1500's? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

It’s all the tech for sure. I see it in myself and I hate it, have it be scrolling on phone or multitasking and can barely sit through a show or movie.