What does your nursing toddler call your boobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The WHO recommendations are for countries with poor water sanitation and food scarcity. is it really so hard to see why this does not apply to upper middle class white ladies in DC?

Of course, that makes perfect sense to me! Upper middle class white ladies know that formula is better. I think I saw an ad in Parents magazine saying so. They also know where to buy the softest bed linens, where to buy carousel shaped cribs........

I'm ready for this thread to be over and done with.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the "extended nurses" who posted early on. I'm actually glad I've read this thread. I've always known that many people find extended nursing "gross," but this thread has demonstrated exactly why. It's easier to sympathize with them now. Most of them seem to have felt uncomfortable nursing, or like they were giving their child something that belonged to them or their husband, or that there was something sexual about nursing. I guess if you think that, or if you see breasts as a purely or mostly sensual / sexual body part, then that is your attitude and it makes sense that you'd stop breastfeeding as soon as somebody said it was okay to (or never even start). There was another woman on this thread who said she couldn't spare the extra moments in the morning or the night for breastfeeding because she would rather have that as "me time." And another woman (or was it that same woman?) said that extended breastfeeding just seems "weirdly selfless." "Don't you want your body back?" "Don't you want to stop wearing nursing bras?" So for a lot of women, it's not really icky, it's just an uncomfortable feeling that they didn't do enough. They were relieved to cross the finish line at 12 months (and that's fine, great even!) but if they agree that it's normal or okay or even (god forbid, better) to breastfeed for longer than a year, then instead of crossing the finish they might feel like they quit the race prematurely. So ladies, it's not that what I'm doing, nursing my 14 month old, is "oddly selfless." That's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because it feels right to me, emotionally and intellectually (the research is with me -- but many of you don't like science anyway when it makes you feel guilty). Anyway, i'm done with this thread now, but the next time you give me a weird look for nursing in public, I'll understand where you're coming from and maybe take it a bit easier on you. It must be hard to feel so angry all the time, and so judged about what you're doing that you want to lash out at others.

[Anonymous]

Yes PP I too feel so grateful to all those posters who weaned at a year or so for explaining to me how they are uptight, selfish, guilt-ridden and totally hung up about their bodies. Thank you slackers. As for me I'm even more enlightened now thanks to this enriching DCUM experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The WHO recommendations are for countries with poor water sanitation and food scarcity. is it really so hard to see why this does not apply to upper middle class white ladies in DC?

oh so milk from white women is better than mine?

[Anonymous]

So you're saying - embedded w/in your summary points - that you're selfish in continuing to nurse b/c you are satisfied intellectually and emotionally.

Instead of using your child to satisfy you, read a book and have sex with your husband. Wouldn't those be two acceptable substitutes?

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the "extended nurses" who posted early on. I'm actually glad I've read this thread. I've always known that many people find extended nursing "gross," but this thread has demonstrated exactly why. It's easier to sympathize with them now. Most of them seem to have felt uncomfortable nursing, or like they were giving their child something that belonged to them or their husband, or that there was something sexual about nursing. I guess if you think that, or if you see breasts as a purely or mostly sensual / sexual body part, then that is your attitude and it makes sense that you'd stop breastfeeding as soon as somebody said it was okay to (or never even start). There was another woman on this thread who said she couldn't spare the extra moments in the morning or the night for breastfeeding because she would rather have that as "me time." And another woman (or was it that same woman?) said that extended breastfeeding just seems "weirdly selfless." "Don't you want your body back?" "Don't you want to stop wearing nursing bras?" So for a lot of women, it's not really icky, it's just an uncomfortable feeling that they didn't do enough. They were relieved to cross the finish line at 12 months (and that's fine, great even!) but if they agree that it's normal or okay or even (god forbid, better) to breastfeed for longer than a year, then instead of crossing the finish they might feel like they quit the race prematurely. So ladies, it's not that what I'm doing, nursing my 14 month old, is "oddly selfless." That's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because it feels right to me, emotionally and intellectually (the research is with me -- but many of you don't like science anyway when it makes you feel guilty). Anyway, i'm done with this thread now, but the next time you give me a weird look for nursing in public, I'll understand where you're coming from and maybe take it a bit easier on you. It must be hard to feel so angry all the time, and so judged about what you're doing that you want to lash out at others.

[Anonymous]

I don't feel threatened by people who engage in extended nursing. I just don't want to do it, and neither does my son. You should do whatever you want, but we don't feel the least bit guilty about what we have decided to do, and we don't have to justify it to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to drink cow's milk. At that age, in our modern society, toddlers don't need nursing for any kind of immune system development at that age, unless these same women are the ones who aren't vaccinating their kids.

Is your child potty trained? If they are old enough to talk, then it's just icky for them to still be in diapers. Really, they aren't babies anymore!

What a stupid comment - there is no relationship between potty training and breast feeding, and this logic makes no sense. Potty training is about when a child is physically able to control their bladder/bowel. Breast feeding past a certain age, e.g., 12 months, has nothing to do with basic nutritional or biological needs. The child doesn't need it at that point for nutrition or immune system building....they can get those needs from solids, foods, cows milk, and vaccines. It's the relationship between the Mom and child, and nothing more. A 19 month old does NOT need to breastfeed. PP, you're comparing apples and oranges....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to drink cow's milk. At that age, in our modern society, toddlers don't need nursing for any kind of immune system development at that age, unless these same women are the ones who aren't vaccinating their kids.

Is your child potty trained? If they are old enough to talk, then it's just icky for them to still be in diapers. Really, they aren't babies anymore!

Agreed PP. And while we're at it, your toddler who is old enough to drink cow's milk, should not be allowed to use a stroller. If he can walk, then stop treating him like a baby, right? Incidentally all people I know who are not Americans, find it ridiculous the huge number of old kids who ride in strollers in DC. But that's another topic entirely...

Again, a stupid comparison. A 19 month old child cannot walk long enough distances to not use a stroller. It's a physical/biological need...e.g., that they be carried bc they get tired. You CANNOT compare nursing...there is no physical or biological need for a child to nurse into the toddler years. Period. A toddler does not need nutrition from it. They do not need the immune system building from it at that stage. Period. That's sound fact. This post, also, is comparing apples and oranges, and is illogical. There is no biological or physiological reason for a toddler over the age of 15 months, e.g., once they can consume solids easily, to nurse. Any other nursing going on is purely emotional and attachment issue, and psychological. Time to wean, ladies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to drink cow's milk. At that age, in our modern society, toddlers don't need nursing for any kind of immune system development at that age, unless these same women are the ones who aren't vaccinating their kids.

Is your child potty trained? If they are old enough to talk, then it's just icky for them to still be in diapers. Really, they aren't babies anymore!

Agreed PP. And while we're at it, your toddler who is old enough to drink cow's milk, should not be allowed to use a stroller. If he can walk, then stop treating him like a baby, right? Incidentally all people I know who are not Americans, find it ridiculous the huge number of old kids who ride in strollers in DC. But that's another topic entirely...

Again, a stupid comparison. A 19 month old child cannot walk long enough distances to not use a stroller. It's a physical/biological need...e.g., that they be carried bc they get tired. You CANNOT compare nursing...there is no physical or biological need for a child to nurse into the toddler years. Period. A toddler does not need nutrition from it. They do not need the immune system building from it at that stage. Period. That's sound fact. This post, also, is comparing apples and oranges, and is illogical. There is no biological or physiological reason for a toddler over the age of 15 months, e.g., once they can consume solids easily, to nurse. Any other nursing going on is purely emotional and attachment issue, and psychological. Time to wean, ladies!

While I agree with this, I don't think these ladies NEED to wean...I just think they need to acknowledge that there is no need for it, and a lot of them seem to be in denial of this fact....that the need is psychological only or for their own needs/desires/wants, not because their child physically needs breastmilk at that age. Of course, these same women are extremely defensive and think it's cute for their kids to call their breasts various terms of endearment...methinks Freud would find it interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

While I agree with this, I don't think these ladies NEED to wean...I just think they need to acknowledge that there is no need for it, and a lot of them seem to be in denial of this fact....that the need is psychological only or for their own needs/desires/wants, not because their child physically needs breastmilk at that age. Of course, these same women are extremely defensive and think it's cute for their kids to call their breasts various terms of endearment...methinks Freud would find it interesting!

That's right. Anything we do for our babies must be for their physical nourishment only. We may not do anything for their emotional well-being. As long as they're fed, who needs comfort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

While I agree with this, I don't think these ladies NEED to wean...I just think they need to acknowledge that there is no need for it, and a lot of them seem to be in denial of this fact....that the need is psychological only or for their own needs/desires/wants, not because their child physically needs breastmilk at that age. Of course, these same women are extremely defensive and think it's cute for their kids to call their breasts various terms of endearment...methinks Freud would find it interesting!

That's right. Anything we do for our babies must be for their physical nourishment only. We may not do anything for their emotional well-being. As long as they're fed, who needs comfort?

there are plenty of other ways to nurture a toddler emotionally without whipping out your breast for a 2-3 year old. To me, that's almost an excuse for being lazy...the easy way out! Try answering their emotional and psychological needs with other types of affection, love, attention, etc., instead of sticking your "milkie" in their mouth!

[Anonymous]

I love this claim that only absolute physical needs matter and attending to kids' emotional/psychological health is just frivolity (or even crazy mama selfishness, apparently). Can you imagine someone asking why daycares and nannies charge so much when all that's necessary is to throw a fresh bottle into the crib every four hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this claim that only absolute physical needs matter and attending to kids' emotional/psychological health is just frivolity (or even crazy mama selfishness, apparently). Can you imagine someone asking why daycares and nannies charge so much when all that's necessary is to throw a fresh bottle into the crib every four hours?

I don't think that is what PP is trying to say. I'm not the PP, but agree that there are other age-appropriate ways to give a 19-month to 3-year-old toddler emotional and psychological security, affection, and contentment, without sticking a breast in their mouth! Breastfeeding really isn't for toddlers at that point. It could be viewed as an "Easy" or somewhat "convenient" way to silence your kid instead of helping them develop their feelings and how to express them emotionally with words, affection, etc. I definitely think at that point it's the mom's desire to keep that "bond" going...not necessarily the best for the child. Everyone knows that BF is more than just feeding, it's bonding, nurturing, etc. But....there are better ways for a 2 year old and 3 year old to get that feeling of security that are age appropriate and don't require a boob!

[Anonymous]

What a stupid comment - there is no relationship between potty training and breast feeding, and this logic makes no sense. Potty training is about when a child is physically able to control their bladder/bowel.

There's nothing stupid about the comment at all. Toddlers are still emotionally immature, and some of then enjoy nursing. To say that it is inappropriate to allow them to still take emotional comfort from nursing, while allowing for physical maturation to lead the toilet training is the "stupid" comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What a stupid comment - there is no relationship between potty training and breast feeding, and this logic makes no sense. Potty training is about when a child is physically able to control their bladder/bowel.

There's nothing stupid about the comment at all. Toddlers are still emotionally immature, and some of then enjoy nursing. To say that it is inappropriate to allow them to still take emotional comfort from nursing, while allowing for physical maturation to lead the toilet training is the "stupid" comment.

Not true-- there is no link between the two. I just think these extended nursers have trouble admitting that they are doing this for themselves, not necessarily for their kids. Period. That's fine, but at least admit it and acknowledge it. Don't be all high and mighty that you're so altruistic or whatever. Your kid is asking for it because they don't know any better. Teach them to use words to express their frustrations instead of plugging them up with a breast...it's for your own comfort or convenience, just as much!