Why are men still expected to make the first move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Because in the mammal kingdom, males pursue females in search of mating opportunities. Females decide which advances they will accept and which they will not. It's true of lions and tigers and dolphins and elephants.

We are mammals, too.

Because of that men are naturally in scarcity with women but women are naturally in abundance with men

[Anonymous]

This is a sarcastic mindset of mine and I imagine that I'd say there is a much better possibility of dinosaurs being cloned and brought back to life just like in Jurassic Park then there is the chances or possibility of women making the first move or approaching men or asking men out in the masses or droves or just as much as men do to women.

[Anonymous]

Answer: because testosterone and estrogen are still a thing.
Because males are biologically wired for the hunt/chase in order to spread their seed and femsles are wired to discern and select.
This is true throughout the entire animal kingdom.

So sure, we can try to “normalize” a different behavior pattern through social customs, but patterns will still return to biological baseline if left alone.

[Anonymous]

Women hate rejection as much as men do. Men want sex more, so they'll approach. In other words, women don't like approaching and they don't have to.

They'll rationalize it as something else. ("Oh, I'm being passive to make sure he isn't passive. That's the ticket!") Or that they *are* actually making moves even if those "moves" maintain plausible deniability and don't involve risk of rejection.

But, ultimately, risk of rejection is unpleasant and they don't have to subject themselves to it, so they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Answer: because testosterone and estrogen are still a thing.
Because males are biologically wired for the hunt/chase in order to spread their seed and femsles are wired to discern and select.
This is true throughout the entire animal kingdom.

So sure, we can try to “normalize” a different behavior pattern through social customs, but patterns will still return to biological baseline if left alone.

I believe that in the sense that men can impregnate hundreds or thousands of women all in one day or in weeks but women have a gestation for 9 months so that makes sense

[Anonymous]

Your assumptions about who does what are out of date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your assumptions about who does what are out of date.

It is still normally the guy that makes the first move and asks the woman out or is the initiator that is still the case in Modern Times And I see that still remaining the norm for the next Century or millennium

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never had a woman asks me out. I would love it though . Where are the places I need to go for this to happen. The bar? The club? At work? Please let me know and I'll.be at these places. Haven't had much luck on OLD.

26 years ago, I joined a community theater group (I had done theater in high school and college, but stopped when I got a "real job"). There aren't the many guys in community theater to begin with. But the guys that are single, straight and join theater are relatively few and far between. One woman made a move within a few weeks of me joining. We were exclusively dating within about 2 months, engaged 2.5 years later and are going to celebrate our 22nd anniversay in less than a month.

And you don't have to be an actor or singer to be involved in community theater. Community theater needs carpenters who can build sets, lighting and sound designers and crew (and we teach new crew members almost every show). If you can't do any of these, then stage hands that can move furniture on and off stage. Even just folks who can come on work days to come and move equipment, tools, help hold pieces to build a set and so on. There's a ton of work to be done for both skilled and unskilled help. And most importantly, community theater is about 2/3 women, many of whom are single and available. Something about theater makes many actresses more forward and more likely to ask the rare single, straight guy out.

[Anonymous]

I am a man who has actually been asked out by a woman before. The first and only time in my life. It was 2006 and I was a young reporter in my first job out of college covering high school sports at a community newspaper. My editor told me to go out and interview the new women's swimming coach at the local high school.

So I drive over there, watch some practice and talk to her after practice. I immediately notice she's rather hot (most former collegiate swimmers are). I ask her for her phone number in case I have any questions for her for my story. She gives it to me.

About a handful of days later, I call her as I'm writing my story because I do have some questions. She gives me the "great to hear from you" blah blah blah. Then when I wrap up the conversation, she asks me to coffee sometime. As an adult, I wouldn't think anything about it, a professional invitation that adults make. Instead, I think to myself "oh wow, is she asking me out," and I tell her I'd think about it and I hang up on her. Smooth!

We ended up dating for a few months. It was fun. Too bad it didn't last longer. If you're reading this, thanks Nicole! Wish more women had the courage to ask men out instead of sitting on their hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a woman asks me out. I would love it though . Where are the places I need to go for this to happen. The bar? The club? At work? Please let me know and I'll.be at these places. Haven't had much luck on OLD.

26 years ago, I joined a community theater group (I had done theater in high school and college, but stopped when I got a "real job"). There aren't the many guys in community theater to begin with. But the guys that are single, straight and join theater are relatively few and far between. One woman made a move within a few weeks of me joining. We were exclusively dating within about 2 months, engaged 2.5 years later and are going to celebrate our 22nd anniversay in less than a month.

And you don't have to be an actor or singer to be involved in community theater. Community theater needs carpenters who can build sets, lighting and sound designers and crew (and we teach new crew members almost every show). If you can't do any of these, then stage hands that can move furniture on and off stage. Even just folks who can come on work days to come and move equipment, tools, help hold pieces to build a set and so on. There's a ton of work to be done for both skilled and unskilled help. And most importantly, community theater is about 2/3 women, many of whom are single and available. Something about theater makes many actresses more forward and more likely to ask the rare single, straight guy out.

Very awesome and interesting story but yeah more than likely this will always be in the minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women hate rejection as much as men do. Men want sex more, so they'll approach. In other words, women don't like approaching and they don't have to.

They'll rationalize it as something else. ("Oh, I'm being passive to make sure he isn't passive. That's the ticket!") Or that they *are* actually making moves even if those "moves" maintain plausible deniability and don't involve risk of rejection.

But, ultimately, risk of rejection is unpleasant and they don't have to subject themselves to it, so they don't.

I used to approach men. Then I realized that if a man really wanted to be with me, he would pursue me. My dating life improved dramatically when I realized that men who wouldn’t pursue me were not worth dating.

It sounds like you are bitter that you need do to the pursuit. Try dating men instead, sounds like more your speed.

[Anonymous]

Because chivalry

[Anonymous]

I ask out men all the time. Well, at least show interest and let them know I'm available. Helps that I'm from different culture from the ones that I ask out. I can make it sound normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Are you a man? or woman? I have found that most men don't like women to make the first move

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If women are so independent and self sufficient these days why are men still the ones expected to make the first move? If a woman likes a guy what's preventing her asking him out? If she wants to be his wife what's preventing her from asking him to marry her?

Are you a man? or woman? I have found that most men don't like women to make the first move

Can't speak for everyone