s/o New understanding of Harry & Meghan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference is that Kate has paid her dues with more than ten years of flawless service while Meghan did nothing but complain and showboat for the instant she set foot in the Brad and bailed less than two years after joining then cashed in on her association with a family and institution she claimed to despise.

Can’t argue with this…

I can argue with this. I don't think it's okay to expect MM to be treated badly because Kate was treated badly. MM does needs to "pay her dues" to be treated respectfully. We are all entitled to respect and decency in our lives from Day 1, especially from family. And we are entitled to leave a situation that does not live up to those ideals.

Especially since Kate did not face racism. And if you think the British public and press did not react to the color of Meghan’s skin, you’re either a fool or a racist yourself.

NP and I agree with you that Meghan faced a different level of scrutiny and abuse because of her race. I know everyone says the US is racist but the most offensive racist things I’ve heard have been when I was traveling in Europe. A friend who is black traveled to a Northern European city that people here consider ideal and he was approached over and over again by locals asking to buy drugs. That being said, I think Meghan was somewhat aware that the press would attack her. Maybe it was just worse than she thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there are multiple sides. I think Harry is a nice guy, intends to be a good person, rather naive, damaged childhood, was living a weird life where he wasn’t really allowed to have a purpose as the “spare” falls in love with Meghan who I think has some delusions of grandeur, although also trying to be a nice person and is one of those people that kind of invite drama. She could have seen the sh$tshow that is the BRF from a mile away but she proceeded anyway. And I have no doubt there was racism and all that and they are in a difficult spot with needing all the expensive security but I also think they think they are entitled to a very privilege life. It’s all basically exhibit A why the monarchy shouldn’t exist. It really didn’t do Harry any favors.

I think this is one of the best and most reasonable takes I’ve seen on here. But I would add that Meghan wouldn’t be the first person not to realize the extent of dysfunction in her spouse’s family until after they were married and let it all hang out. She didn’t have a lot of up close and personal experience with their backbiting staffs, etc until she was officially part of them.

Agree with both pps. I think Meghan thought she could charm her way into the British people’s hearts as some sort of second coming of Diana and was shocked when this was not the case. Super delusional but I still have sympathy for her and Harry. The RF’s current disaster gives total credibility to their claim that they were scapegoats and being used to make Kate and William look good.

[Anonymous]

I think M and H were jealous they didn’t receive the household budget that W&K did. He mentions it several times in the book - how much nicer Will’s house and furnishings are. But I don’t think it bothered Harry until Meghan came along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think M and H were jealous they didn’t receive the household budget that W&K did. He mentions it several times in the book - how much nicer Will’s house and furnishings are. But I don’t think it bothered Harry until Meghan came along.

I’m not clear that “jealous” is the most accurate way to frame this. Harry lived surrounded by relatives who were gifted quite significant properties, often with additional city apartments — when they married. It really stands out that Harry was treated differently in this regard, although maybe the best comparison for Harry would be W & K vs the Queen’s own children and cousins. What really stands out to me though, is that Meghan apparently did not get a clothing budget, but had to pay for her own wardrobe as a working Royal.

I’m not quite seeing “jealous” as much as I am seeing unfairness beyond just Harry not getting what his brother the heir got. While it might not have bothered bachelor Harry, I think it’s important to note that one of the reasons for this might have been that in his extended family, the properties and expanded budgets seem to go along with getting married — for everyone except for Harry. I get that I obviously don’t know the ins and outs of everyone’s finances. Perhaps the critical piece here is Queen Elizabeth’s generosity to her children and their spouses, and to her cousins vs Charles’s to his sons.

[Anonymous]

There’s obviously a pattern of mistreatment with Diana, fergie, Meghan, and now Kate. It’s misogyny. The firm is toxic and literally abuses people. I would be outraged if my tax dollars were supporting that institution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there are multiple sides. I think Harry is a nice guy, intends to be a good person, rather naive, damaged childhood, was living a weird life where he wasn’t really allowed to have a purpose as the “spare” falls in love with Meghan who I think has some delusions of grandeur, although also trying to be a nice person and is one of those people that kind of invite drama. She could have seen the sh$tshow that is the BRF from a mile away but she proceeded anyway. And I have no doubt there was racism and all that and they are in a difficult spot with needing all the expensive security but I also think they think they are entitled to a very privilege life. It’s all basically exhibit A why the monarchy shouldn’t exist. It really didn’t do Harry any favors.

I think this is one of the best and most reasonable takes I’ve seen on here. But I would add that Meghan wouldn’t be the first person not to realize the extent of dysfunction in her spouse’s family until after they were married and let it all hang out. She didn’t have a lot of up close and personal experience with their backbiting staffs, etc until she was officially part of them.

I agree with all of this. I think, too, that Meghan was completely unprepared for the extent of both the blatant and the more subtle racism that she faced with constant media attacks. Quite a lot of what was said, published, tweeted about her wouldn’t be published in the US by mainstream sources— and it never let up. As Meghan herself said, she thought it would be “fair”. I’m not familiar enough with tabloid publications and British talk shows to know what Meghan “should” have expected, or perhaps should have been prepared by Harry / palace aides to expect. I do think that Meghan’s coverage was frequently horribly racist in ways that were likely genuinely unexpected and without precedent— and the place did nothing to attempt to contain it, and that too, was likely a shock for Meghan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Harry deeply regrets his choices and misses his old life.

And what makes you think this? Sudden mind reading skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think M and H were jealous they didn’t receive the household budget that W&K did. He mentions it several times in the book - how much nicer Will’s house and furnishings are. But I don’t think it bothered Harry until Meghan came along.

I read his book and it was so much sour grapes. You could even feel that the writer was almost mocking him. For a man who had so much therapy, he is not introspective and doesn't realize his own faults.

[Anonymous]

I have always believed them. The clash between M and K seemed to be cultural and I think they both made mistakes in that regard. I also think M had a hard time taking royalty seriously as so many Americans do and that was a mistake. But I don’t for a second doubt the ugliness that they each went though both growing up a spare in that family and when they were married. The BRF seems seriously dysfunctional and the trolls who hate on them are disgusting and cruel. I don’t blame them one bit for getting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think M and H were jealous they didn’t receive the household budget that W&K did. He mentions it several times in the book - how much nicer Will’s house and furnishings are. But I don’t think it bothered Harry until Meghan came along.

I read his book and it was so much sour grapes. You could even feel that the writer was almost mocking him. For a man who had so much therapy, he is not introspective and doesn't realize his own faults.

I think Harry is undergoing a lot of growing pains, which couldn’t have happened when he was still within the Firm. He’s floundering a bit as anyone would after being so controlled and protected and scapegoated. I have estranged myself from my toxic family and don’t have public scrutiny to deal with, but that kind of thing takes many years to heal from and forgive and begin to see the world clearly. The trauma and gaslighting that must’ve gone on, and being a young boy when his mother died (and he has suspicions that it wasn’t an accident) are disturbing. Not saying he should’ve put this all out there, but growing up is an imperfect process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think M and H were jealous they didn’t receive the household budget that W&K did. He mentions it several times in the book - how much nicer Will’s house and furnishings are. But I don’t think it bothered Harry until Meghan came along.

I read his book and it was so much sour grapes. You could even feel that the writer was almost mocking him. For a man who had so much therapy, he is not introspective and doesn't realize his own faults.

I think Harry is undergoing a lot of growing pains, which couldn’t have happened when he was still within the Firm. He’s floundering a bit as anyone would after being so controlled and protected and scapegoated. I have estranged myself from my toxic family and don’t have public scrutiny to deal with, but that kind of thing takes many years to heal from and forgive and begin to see the world clearly. The trauma and gaslighting that must’ve gone on, and being a young boy when his mother died (and he has suspicions that it wasn’t an accident) are disturbing. Not saying he should’ve put this all out there, but growing up is an imperfect process.

I think his feelings about some things are valid, but I cannot respect someone putting this sort of drama out there, especially because he himself has said he loved his grandma so much and even named his dd after her and his mother. There is no excuse for causing that much pain to an elderly relative you love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference is that Kate has paid her dues with more than ten years of flawless service while Meghan did nothing but complain and showboat for the instant she set foot in the Brad and bailed less than two years after joining then cashed in on her association with a family and institution she claimed to despise.

Can’t argue with this…

I can argue with this. I don't think it's okay to expect MM to be treated badly because Kate was treated badly. MM does needs to "pay her dues" to be treated respectfully. We are all entitled to respect and decency in our lives from Day 1, especially from family. And we are entitled to leave a situation that does not live up to those ideals.

Especially since Kate did not face racism. And if you think the British public and press did not react to the color of Meghan’s skin, you’re either a fool or a racist yourself.

NP and I agree with you that Meghan faced a different level of scrutiny and abuse because of her race. I know everyone says the US is racist but the most offensive racist things I’ve heard have been when I was traveling in Europe. A friend who is black traveled to a Northern European city that people here consider ideal and he was approached over and over again by locals asking to buy drugs. That being said, I think Meghan was somewhat aware that the press would attack her. Maybe it was just worse than she thought.

I don’t believe this.

Northern Europeans are extremely racist, but they are not going to approach a black man for the purpose you stated. That sort of thing is handled by the locals or individuals from former Bloc countries. If a junkie is going to approach a black man it’s to ask for money because nonwhites are considered more compassionate and willing to give spare change/money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there are multiple sides. I think Harry is a nice guy, intends to be a good person, rather naive, damaged childhood, was living a weird life where he wasn’t really allowed to have a purpose as the “spare” falls in love with Meghan who I think has some delusions of grandeur, although also trying to be a nice person and is one of those people that kind of invite drama. She could have seen the sh$tshow that is the BRF from a mile away but she proceeded anyway. And I have no doubt there was racism and all that and they are in a difficult spot with needing all the expensive security but I also think they think they are entitled to a very privilege life. It’s all basically exhibit A why the monarchy shouldn’t exist. It really didn’t do Harry any favors.

I think this is one of the best and most reasonable takes I’ve seen on here. But I would add that Meghan wouldn’t be the first person not to realize the extent of dysfunction in her spouse’s family until after they were married and let it all hang out. She didn’t have a lot of up close and personal experience with their backbiting staffs, etc until she was officially part of them.

I agree with all of this. I think, too, that Meghan was completely unprepared for the extent of both the blatant and the more subtle racism that she faced with constant media attacks. Quite a lot of what was said, published, tweeted about her wouldn’t be published in the US by mainstream sources— and it never let up. As Meghan herself said, she thought it would be “fair”. I’m not familiar enough with tabloid publications and British talk shows to know what Meghan “should” have expected, or perhaps should have been prepared by Harry / palace aides to expect. I do think that Meghan’s coverage was frequently horribly racist in ways that were likely genuinely unexpected and without precedent— and the place did nothing to attempt to contain it, and that too, was likely a shock for Meghan.

I am not really a William fan but I think he was right when he told Harry he needed to pump the brakes a little bit with his relationship with Meghan. I think everyone in the RF knew she would be ill-prepared for palace life. Had they dated longer it may not have been such a rough entry.

[Anonymous]

Meghan was a mature, divorced, educated, experienced, worldly woman with a psychologist mom. She knew what she was walking into and why.

She wasn't having an arranged marriage with crown prince like 19 year old Diana did nor crushing on a crown prince in her school like 19 year old Kate did. Those two were young and inexperienced.

Meghan made a calculated plan after years of research and it did pay off, though not as handsomely as planned. It seems she was expecting to become Hollywood royalty or a political powerhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meghan was a mature, divorced, educated, experienced, worldly woman with a psychologist mom. She knew what she was walking into and why.

She wasn't having an arranged marriage with crown prince like 19 year old Diana did nor crushing on a crown prince in her school like 19 year old Kate did. Those two were young and inexperienced.

Meghan made a calculated plan after years of research and it did pay off, though not as handsomely as planned. It seems she was expecting to become Hollywood royalty or a political powerhouse.

This is ludicrous. People can’t help if the person they fall in love with is from a terrible family. Just check the family relationship forum. And it was clear from the Diana days that they just expect newcomers to the family to just fall in line with whatever craziness they show. (And I agree that the flagrant racism of the British tabloids would be hard to predict if you grew up in the States. I still find it shocking.) Not to mention, if your fiancé has to make appointments to see his family members, how well can you really get to know them before you get married?

I wouldn’t have refused to marry my husband if his family was toxic, but I sure would want to maintain some distance. As they are doing.