is volleyball really a "mean girl" sport??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tried to convince my very tall daughter (5’11” in middle school) to give it a try, but everyone was mean, including the coach.

Why not a sport like basketball?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My daughter is great at it. I feel silly even typing this out, but my older daughter was saying that "everyone knows" that the girls who play volleyball are "mean girls." I mostly rolled my eyes but a friend in another area said it's the same in their area. Is that really true?

It kind of is, not to say that all the girls on a team are mean girls, but just that mean girls gravitate toward it, much like cheer. Look at the outfits for volleyball and cheer compared to other girls' sports (except swim) and you will see why it attracts a certain type. Other girls' sports do not have such sexualized outfits. Most of what makes a "mean girl" mean is a desire to fight over the attention of boys.

Are you serious with saying volleyball uniforms are sexualized because of the shorts? Give me a break. So what about cross country and track and field? Are those uniforms sexualized, too? Not everything is, you know. Sometimes a uniform is just a uniform and shorts are short because they are easier to move in.

FWIW the girls I know playing volleyball are not mean girls. Please understand that there are at least some mean girls in every sport.

Basketball and soccer have more movement than volleyball and their uniforms are not the slightest bit sexual. Vb uniforms are way too tight and revealing for minors. If you wore a vb uniform to play bb, you would be sent to the locker room to change. Vb as a sport has a distinct culture around it and it is reflected in the uniform.

Tell me more about the distinct culture that is reflected in the uniforms. WTAF..stop sexualizing everything!

They wear bikini bottoms not shorts . Some teams wear bathing suits for beach volleyball. It makes it look like volleyball is just a game not a sport.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What a sexist thread.

Calling bullies out isn’t sexist.

OP here. I am female, and for the record, I was a D1 athlete.

But no one enters middle and high school sports at a very high level. That comes later -- or doesn't. And along the way, there are social elements that are factors in the development of the kids I am raising.

So I am curious who is attracted to the sport. We'll move before my kids start high school most likely and frankly, I don't need to nurture a sport that is known to be mean girl sport all else equal.

Also, I know very little about volleyball, but I do think there may be a truism for whatever reason that certain sports attract on certain personality types, and that sports can also have an impact on who you are

[/b]There’s not a lot of running around in volleyball so that might attract some personality types. [b]Maybe they played it on vacation and really liked it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sexist thread.

Calling bullies out isn’t sexist.

OP here. I am female, and for the record, I was a D1 athlete.

But no one enters middle and high school sports at a very high level. That comes later -- or doesn't. And along the way, there are social elements that are factors in the development of the kids I am raising.

So I am curious who is attracted to the sport. We'll move before my kids start high school most likely and frankly, I don't need to nurture a sport that is known to be mean girl sport all else equal.

Also, I know very little about volleyball, but I do think there may be a truism for whatever reason that certain sports attract on certain personality types, and that sports can also have an impact on who you are

There’s not a lot of running around in volleyball so that might attract some personality types. Maybe they played it on vacation and really liked it.

+1 (8:35 here, LOL)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sexist thread.

Calling bullies out isn’t sexist.

OP here. I am female, and for the record, I was a D1 athlete.

But no one enters middle and high school sports at a very high level. That comes later -- or doesn't. And along the way, there are social elements that are factors in the development of the kids I am raising.

So I am curious who is attracted to the sport. We'll move before my kids start high school most likely and frankly, I don't need to nurture a sport that is known to be mean girl sport all else equal.

Also, I know very little about volleyball, but I do think there may be a truism for whatever reason that certain sports attract on certain personality types, and that sports can also have an impact on who you are

There’s not a lot of running around in volleyball so that might attract some personality types. Maybe they played it on vacation and really liked it.

+1 (8:35 here, LOL)

I think the mean girl piece may also have something to do with the fact that girls tryout for their team every year. What I’m seeing is a lot of jockeying for position and not a lot of team mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a sexist thread.

Calling bullies out isn’t sexist.

OP here. I am female, and for the record, I was a D1 athlete.

But no one enters middle and high school sports at a very high level. That comes later -- or doesn't. And along the way, there are social elements that are factors in the development of the kids I am raising.

So I am curious who is attracted to the sport. We'll move before my kids start high school most likely and frankly, I don't need to nurture a sport that is known to be mean girl sport all else equal.

Also, I know very little about volleyball, but I do think there may be a truism for whatever reason that certain sports attract on certain personality types, and that sports can also have an impact on who you are

There’s not a lot of running around in volleyball so that might attract some personality types. Maybe they played it on vacation and really liked it.

+1 (8:35 here, LOL)

I think the mean girl piece may also have something to do with the fact that girls tryout for their team every year. What I’m seeing is a lot of jockeying for position and not a lot of team mentality.

This makes sense.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a sport that tends to attract the popular girls, which will tend to be a little more mean girl than the nerds for sure.

I think this is because it’s a sport that doesn’t start young unlike almost all others. Most girls I know started in 4/5th or middle school. They join at that age bc their friends are doing it, so it tends to be a kid who is socially motivated.

+1 It’s also a non-contact sport, and prissy girls are often the mean girls.

What an ignorant comment. When you’re playing travel it’s very intense. Have you seen how the girls dive and run into each other? Never mind. I bet your kid does band/theater.

NP here who thinks this thread is insane but perhaps explains where teens get their ugly biases from...
You are calling someone ignorant while simultaneously maligning band/theatre?
My kid is the captain of her lacrosse team as well as always a lead in the musical. She's also very nice and tries to mentor the younger kids in sports and especially theatre.

People are complex. Especially growing CHILDREN. A lot of you need to take a look in the mirror. You are teaching your kids to be judgmental and critical. Then you throw up your hands and say, what is the world coming to!?

You sure about that? The spring plays usually have rehearsals every day right after school. So does lacrosse. Hard to be in two places at once. Especially when you’re top dog in both.

This is going to blow your mind, but different school districts do things differently. For us the musical is January to March. We have four seasons, and the musical is during what we call winter two. Lacrosse is during the spring season that follows. Thank you for your helpful question! Hope that makes sense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like only girls that feel on the periphery of some made of social hierarchy they want to be part of call other girls “mean girls”

Girls that are confident in themselves and have independent thought don’t feel the need to tear others down

Completely agree. But why think of confident girls as complex, decent, flawed, normal, nice kids? Better to vilify them and blame them for everything that's going wrong!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like only girls that feel on the periphery of some made of social hierarchy they want to be part of call other girls “mean girls”

Girls that are confident in themselves and have independent thought don’t feel the need to tear others down

Completely agree. But why think of confident girls as complex, decent, flawed, normal, nice kids? Better to vilify them and blame them for everything that's going wrong!!

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is great at it. I feel silly even typing this out, but my older daughter was saying that "everyone knows" that the girls who play volleyball are "mean girls." I mostly rolled my eyes but a friend in another area said it's the same in their area. Is that really true?

When I think of volleyball I think of tall and blond…so maybe it goes with the territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like only girls that feel on the periphery of some made of social hierarchy they want to be part of call other girls “mean girls”

Girls that are confident in themselves and have independent thought don’t feel the need to tear others down

Completely agree. But why think of confident girls as complex, decent, flawed, normal, nice kids? Better to vilify them and blame them for everything that's going wrong!!

Girls who are mean are NOT confident. "Mean girl" behavior, including gossip, exclusion, ostracism, back-handed compliments and other forms of relational aggression, are ALL forms of insecurity. Girls who engage in this behavior feel insecure in themselves or their social position, usually both.

Girls who are just confident don't engage in any of these behaviors because they don't feel the need to. Why would they gossip? It's unkind and they have better things to talk about than what other students do. Why would they exclude others? Confident kids are inclusive because, hey, the person you rope into an activity might turn out to be cool or an interesting friend, why not? They don't ostracize because they don't feel the need to elevate themselves by putting a target on anyone else. And they don't engage in back-handed compliments or other passive-aggressive behaviors because confident kids say what they mean and mean what they say, and also have no reason to engage in put downs.

So yes, confident girls exist and sometimes people are envious of their confidence. But when people talk about "mean girls," they are NOT talking about confident kids. The most confident kids in my high school, or my kid's high school, would never get this label because they don't engage in any of these behaviors.

Now, there are kids who are arrogant (not confident), rude, competitive, and constantly putting people down, and I'm sure some of their parents think "Oh wow, look how *confident* my DD is when she laughs at other girls and spreads rumors. I'm just overwhelmed with her confidence! So proud." But we all know what "confident" means in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like only girls that feel on the periphery of some made of social hierarchy they want to be part of call other girls “mean girls”

Girls that are confident in themselves and have independent thought don’t feel the need to tear others down

Completely agree. But why think of confident girls as complex, decent, flawed, normal, nice kids? Better to vilify them and blame them for everything that's going wrong!!

Girls who are mean are NOT confident. "Mean girl" behavior, including gossip, exclusion, ostracism, back-handed compliments and other forms of relational aggression, are ALL forms of insecurity. Girls who engage in this behavior feel insecure in themselves or their social position, usually both.

Girls who are just confident don't engage in any of these behaviors because they don't feel the need to. Why would they gossip? It's unkind and they have better things to talk about than what other students do. Why would they exclude others? Confident kids are inclusive because, hey, the person you rope into an activity might turn out to be cool or an interesting friend, why not? They don't ostracize because they don't feel the need to elevate themselves by putting a target on anyone else. And they don't engage in back-handed compliments or other passive-aggressive behaviors because confident kids say what they mean and mean what they say, and also have no reason to engage in put downs.

So yes, confident girls exist and sometimes people are envious of their confidence. But when people talk about "mean girls," they are NOT talking about confident kids. The most confident kids in my high school, or my kid's high school, would never get this label because they don't engage in any of these behaviors.

Now, there are kids who are arrogant (not confident), rude, competitive, and constantly putting people down, and I'm sure some of their parents think "Oh wow, look how *confident* my DD is when she laughs at other girls and spreads rumors. I'm just overwhelmed with her confidence! So proud." But we all know what "confident" means in that situation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like only girls that feel on the periphery of some made of social hierarchy they want to be part of call other girls “mean girls”

Girls that are confident in themselves and have independent thought don’t feel the need to tear others down

Completely agree. But why think of confident girls as complex, decent, flawed, normal, nice kids? Better to vilify them and blame them for everything that's going wrong!!

Girls who are mean are NOT confident. "Mean girl" behavior, including gossip, exclusion, ostracism, back-handed compliments and other forms of relational aggression, are ALL forms of insecurity. Girls who engage in this behavior feel insecure in themselves or their social position, usually both.

Girls who are just confident don't engage in any of these behaviors because they don't feel the need to. Why would they gossip? It's unkind and they have better things to talk about than what other students do. Why would they exclude others? Confident kids are inclusive because, hey, the person you rope into an activity might turn out to be cool or an interesting friend, why not? They don't ostracize because they don't feel the need to elevate themselves by putting a target on anyone else. And they don't engage in back-handed compliments or other passive-aggressive behaviors because confident kids say what they mean and mean what they say, and also have no reason to engage in put downs.

So yes, confident girls exist and sometimes people are envious of their confidence. But when people talk about "mean girls," they are NOT talking about confident kids. The most confident kids in my high school, or my kid's high school, would never get this label because they don't engage in any of these behaviors.

Now, there are kids who are arrogant (not confident), rude, competitive, and constantly putting people down, and I'm sure some of their parents think "Oh wow, look how *confident* my DD is when she laughs at other girls and spreads rumors. I'm just overwhelmed with her confidence! So proud." But we all know what "confident" means in that situation.

this is BS calculated to make us feel sorry for the bullies. poor things, they are only doing it because they feel so bad about themselves.

in reality, kids with low self esteem do not have capacity or social support to execute exclusion, bullying etc. it is led by the confident girls, with the assistance of the cowardly ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is great at it. I feel silly even typing this out, but my older daughter was saying that "everyone knows" that the girls who play volleyball are "mean girls." I mostly rolled my eyes but a friend in another area said it's the same in their area. Is that really true?

It’s grade by grade where the Mean Girls gravitate. Or are pushed by their sorority girl Moms.

After living a few places and having daughters, the perceived “feminine” sports or activities have the propensity to have the most Mean Girls.

In the south the dance & drill teams are full of drama and sabotage.

Around here I could see it being some of the tennis and v ball girls.

Any sport that has tight short skirts, tanks and shorts will attract more Mean Girl moms and daughters. And vice versa. Except swimming. No mean girl will put in the time for that. No boys hanging out there at the 4 hour meet either.

[Anonymous]

Anything where lots of legs and @$$ showing. Yes.