Disruptive student in class

[Anonymous]

We were in this situation in K. Kicking, hitting, stealing and some wild scissors moments. Principal added a para, but then lost him and was in the room herself many days. It just wasn't enough. She hinted that parents could complain over her head to district person, so I did that and detailed all the observed risk (I had been volunteering in the class as well). I think it was the potential for lawsuits that made MCPS do something. Student was moved to a special program in 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

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So let me tell you what you do.

You can't do anything if this kid hits someone who is not your child.

But the second this child hits your kid, and your kid reports it to you after school, YOU CALL 911 to report an assault.

I've been in MCPS for years, and have followed all the major assault cases (mostly in high schools). Families who relied on the school found that evidence was destroyed, witnesses were tampered with and justice was delayed. It's not that school employees want to hurt victims. It's that MCPS regulations are not built for assault cases. Families who called 911 and reported an assault to police immediately made the system work for them. Bypass MCPS completely. They will be forced to comply with the law.

I probably wouldn't call 911 (not an emergency), but I would call the police and make a report. I want documentation. And I agree that MCPS will cover up as much as possible.

Okay, mama-bear. You pull that on my 8-year old? I would FOIA your 911 call or police report and send it to your employer and other interested parties. Not all hitters have powerless parents, Karen. We can play hardball too.

Have a real, hard think about this, folks. Kids have hit other kids, at school, for all time. Were you all homeschooled? These kids weren't all expelled or cast off to the asylum. They don't all turn into mass shooters. Your kid may be a concussion or divorce away from being the hitter next year.

Violence is unacceptable at school. You can teach your kid that lesson while maintaining some perspective and not assuming that the worst-case scenario is inevitable.

Want to know what'd be really disruptive to your kid? Making them change classes on the third day of school. Calling the cops on a fight with another pre-pubescent kid. Those would surely be things they'd remember forever, long after they forget about that kid in fourth-grade who hit another kid. They'd remember you made that choice and the message it sent about how you feel about kids who are different.

Perhaps consider this an opportunity to connect with your kid. To empower them, even. Talk to them. Validate their feelings. Ask what precipitated the incidents. Discuss the different reasons why kids may hit other kids, in an age-appropriate way. Discuss how they can help support classmates who are struggling and ways they can deescalate difficult moments and keep themselves safe.

Our kids will live and work in a far more inclusive world than ours. Their success will rely on their emotional intelligence, resilience and the ability to thrive around people from different backgrounds and diverse perspectives. Consider how your choices are preparing them for that world.

LOL

I’m that PP. You want to FOIA my police report? And give it to my employer? WTF does that even mean?

You don’t even have to do that. Just ask me and I’ll give it to you.

Violence is unacceptable in schools just as it is in the workplace. I AM preparing my kid for the world. If someone is violent towards you, you don’t just accept that behavior.

Remember the poor teacher who was shot in Virginia? Way too many people made excuses for that kid. In this day an age, a police report is a necessity to have a paper trail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a teacher tries to report the admin will blame and try to get rid of the teacher for not being able to manage the classroom

Yes. This is why it’s up to the parents to make their voices heard.

[Anonymous]

Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Every kid who disrupts class should be moved into online-only classes and stay home

You are a horrible human being. A young child that is unable to control their impulses and has behavior issues has a disability. They are not behaving poorly on purpose. Luckily children with disabilities have a right to the same public education as their non disabled peers. The solution is not to punish the child or remove the child from society; the solution is to provide the necessary support and medical assistance that the child requires.

You are a horrible human being for forcing the child into a classroom and setting him up for failure.

The child can learn how to control his impulses and THEN return to the classroom.

Until then, online school is a fantastic alternative option.

Luckily that’s not how IDEA works. Does it sound like there’s a legitimate problem? Absolutely. The school should bring in additional support to the classroom. The parents of neurotypical kids in this thread should be pushing the school district to do that, rather than sending this unsupported child with a presumed developmental disability home (or, as one poster suggested, jail).

Why is this the school’s problem?

Because they have an obligation to educate children, even those with special needs, in the least restrictive environment. And based on the offensive and ignorant comments in this thread, I'm very glad this obligation is ingrained in state and federal law.

Why are you dismissing online education when it actually makes the most sense?

It doesn’t make sense at all. Clearly this student needs help. The online model is substantially more limited in the services and supports that can be effectively provided. And provides fewer educational opportunities in areas that appear to be of particular need for this student, such as social/peer interaction.

Online education would allow the child to succeed rather than fail.

Almost certainly not, given that they wouldn’t be able to receive the services and supports that they obviously need to develop important academic and life skills.

Education can be delivered online.

The services and support you think they need are not school and do not need to happen there.

Again, luckily people like you don’t create educational policy or law, because it certainly is the school’s responsibility to provide services and supports. Regardless of whether or not they have to be provided at school (which, per LRE in IDEA, they basically do), they can’t be effectively provided virtually.

I suppose there are some parents that would be OK with private placement. So if, as you seem to be saying, the school is unable to accommodate the needs of this student, they could go to a private school. But public school districts really don’t like paying for private placement.

Why can’t a therapist just do weekly home visits?

Have you ever met a therapist that woudl do home visits? I have literally never found one, and we had a rough few years when I would have paid anything for that. Money aside, NO ONE offered that.

[Anonymous]

SPED parent here -- I know another parent who had to hire a lawyer to move their own kid from mainstream to another school with a self-contained class, even though the kid clearly needed it (for behavioral reasons). MCPS is often against anything that costs more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

Are you saying a fully mature adult should be better protected than a third-grader?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

Are you saying a fully mature adult should be better protected than a third-grader?

Yes. By third grade, your kid should be able to take a beating with grace and composure and realize that the kid doing the hitting is the one with serious problems and that any complaint may just make those problems worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Sadly, I work for a local government, and this is exactly what happens! They may be transferred to another location, or you may be.

[Anonymous]

Reach out to the victim’s parents to see if you can be of help. Document what happened and start the paper trail - or make sure someone has started it. Other pps went into more detail. I had to do this years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

Are you saying a fully mature adult should be better protected than a third-grader?

Should consequences for an adult hitting an adult be greater than a child hitting a child? Um, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

Are you saying a fully mature adult should be better protected than a third-grader?

Should consequences for an adult hitting an adult be greater than a child hitting a child? Um, yes?

By third grade they should be the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine someone in your workplace hit you and the response was - Mary won't be fired, we won't tell you what consequences if any there are for Mary and yes, you still have to work with her for the remainder of the year. You wouldn't tolerate that, yet we expect our kids to do just that all the time and explain away and excuse abuse.

Are you comparing a fully mature adult with a third-grader?

Are you saying a fully mature adult should be better protected than a third-grader?

Should consequences for an adult hitting an adult be greater than a child hitting a child? Um, yes?

By third grade they should be the same.

Really? An eight year old hitting my kid should get the same consequence as the teacher hitting my kid?