Family culture at the Heights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am suspicious if Opus Dei. Perhaps the Americanized version is better than the original, but its founder, Josemaria Escriva, had some very unhealthy ideas about corporal mortification and the subjection of women.

https://www.opus-info.org/index.php/Opus_Dei_info:FAQ

Scroll down to the parts "What is the role of women in the Opus Dei ideology?" and "What kind of person was Josemaria Escriva?"

These are NOT ideas I would want my sons to pick up on or my daughters to be exposed to.

Indeed! Normal Catholics know Opus Del is for extremist weirdos.

“Normal Catholics”- I see how tolerance only leans in one direction here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

This is so obviously a fake post. Your telling me that your parents bought all the brothers cars, privte school, and college... then told u that u get nothing? Seriously? No one is falling for this fake post

That is precisely what happened. In a way, it's validating that you find this treatment unbelievable. It was normalized to me, and I was told I was selfish and jealous when I objected. My parents bought one brother several cars over the years. The others only got one. I once got a bicycle. There was an enormous discrepancy between my brothers and me regarding spending, behavioral expectations, and assigned chores. My brothers were expected to develop themselves and not help around the house, but I was supposed to clean and cook. This is not unusual in quiverful and "complementarian" families, so I worry about sisters and daughters caught in these situations. I would ask parents to consider any system that privileges men and boys over women and girls, as Opus Dei does. Boys who are taught that they are superior to their sisters develop some unpleasant characteristics that can get them in trouble as they get older, and girls in these situations are unlikely to remain close to their families. I suggest reading Tara Westover's book Educated.

[Anonymous]

Toxic extreme right wing conservatism...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

This is so obviously a fake post. Your telling me that your parents bought all the brothers cars, privte school, and college... then told u that u get nothing? Seriously? No one is falling for this fake post

That is precisely what happened. In a way, it's validating that you find this treatment unbelievable. It was normalized to me, and I was told I was selfish and jealous when I objected. My parents bought one brother several cars over the years. The others only got one. I once got a bicycle. There was an enormous discrepancy between my brothers and me regarding spending, behavioral expectations, and assigned chores. My brothers were expected to develop themselves and not help around the house, but I was supposed to clean and cook. This is not unusual in quiverful and "complementarian" families, so I worry about sisters and daughters caught in these situations. I would ask parents to consider any system that privileges men and boys over women and girls, as Opus Dei does. Boys who are taught that they are superior to their sisters develop some unpleasant characteristics that can get them in trouble as they get older, and girls in these situations are unlikely to remain close to their families. I suggest reading Tara Westover's book Educated.

I have not seen that in any of the catholic families that I’m familiar with, including families that send boys to the Heights. I’m sorry that happened to you, but it is not correct to assume or imply that Heights families follow that line of thinking. It’s just not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

Bahahahaha! Nice try! Many Opus Dei families send their girls to Oakcrest at a whopping 30k per year and push academics so they can get into the equivalent of their “Catholic ivys”. From there, they chose what they want- a career, family or both. Isn’t that what feminism is about? Choice?

One poster here mentioned her son's school (The Heights) was much better than her daughter's PUBLIC school. How is that not male privilege? Private school for the dauphin. Public school for the girls, who obviously aren't worth that investment.

I’m not seeing that post. Can you share the one you are talakknf about?

It was the (currently) last post in another thread about The Heights titled "Tell me about The Heights" and included this:

"I'm just happy that the school never did a virtual year, which was a complete disaster for my daughter at Fairfax County Public Schools."

The poster is not happy with Fairfax County Public Schools, but it is apparently good enough for her daughter, while her son deserves "better."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

This is so obviously a fake post. Your telling me that your parents bought all the brothers cars, privte school, and college... then told u that u get nothing? Seriously? No one is falling for this fake post

That is precisely what happened. In a way, it's validating that you find this treatment unbelievable. It was normalized to me, and I was told I was selfish and jealous when I objected. My parents bought one brother several cars over the years. The others only got one. I once got a bicycle. There was an enormous discrepancy between my brothers and me regarding spending, behavioral expectations, and assigned chores. My brothers were expected to develop themselves and not help around the house, but I was supposed to clean and cook. This is not unusual in quiverful and "complementarian" families, so I worry about sisters and daughters caught in these situations. I would ask parents to consider any system that privileges men and boys over women and girls, as Opus Dei does. Boys who are taught that they are superior to their sisters develop some unpleasant characteristics that can get them in trouble as they get older, and girls in these situations are unlikely to remain close to their families. I suggest reading Tara Westover's book Educated.

Honestly you sound like a bigot making up a bizarre life story in order to smear the Catholic community. If someone came on to DCUM and said their house was robbed by a black person so therefore we need to be wary of blacks generally, Jeff would delete that thread in two seconds, as he should. Get lost, please.

Equating concern about Opus Dei with racism is absurd. Anybody can reference statements by Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, and some of his writings and comments about women are extremely disturbing. Escriva died in 1975, and I hope that in the almost 50 years since then, Opus Dei has evolved beyond his disrespectful assertions.

Your insults and lack of empathy do not reflect well on Heights parents (I assume you are one?) and reinforce my concerns about girls exposed to prejudice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

Bahahahaha! Nice try! Many Opus Dei families send their girls to Oakcrest at a whopping 30k per year and push academics so they can get into the equivalent of their “Catholic ivys”. From there, they chose what they want- a career, family or both. Isn’t that what feminism is about? Choice?

My concern is about girls in these families who do NOT have choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am suspicious if Opus Dei. Perhaps the Americanized version is better than the original, but its founder, Josemaria Escriva, had some very unhealthy ideas about corporal mortification and the subjection of women.

https://www.opus-info.org/index.php/Opus_Dei_info:FAQ

Scroll down to the parts "What is the role of women in the Opus Dei ideology?" and "What kind of person was Josemaria Escriva?"

These are NOT ideas I would want my sons to pick up on or my daughters to be exposed to.

That entire website you linked was created by a man who spent like THIRTY years in Opus Dei and then decided he was upset and created it. Opus Dei, like any religious group, will be filled with wonderful people and occasionally humans who miss the mark. Because they are human. Here’s an excellent response to this website, please take th time to read it: https://catholicallyear.com/blog/what-opus-dei-isn/

[Anonymous]

Idk. This school would be so much better if it was just Catholic. I hate that there is a faction that thinks they are morally superior to everyone else. They won’t say that to you but behind closed doors that’s what they are thinking- total Pharisees. And I do not get the whole shrouded in secrecy vibe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a horrible reaction here. Opus Dei. All male. Only male teachers. Predominantly male authors studied. Ugh! What happens to the sisters of these boys? Are they taught to be subservient? Do they also attend private schools, or are public schools "good enough for THEM."

Opus Dei was founded by Josemaria Escriva, who stated, "Women needn’t be scholars—it’s enough for them to be prudent." Also: "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty percent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

I grew up as the only girl in an Opus Dei family with many sons. The boys went to expensive private schools and were provided with cars. My parents covered their university education. I went to public school and was on my own for college.

My job was to help look after my brothers. I was expected to cook and clean, while my brothers did no chores. From the time I was seven years old, I was told I would "have to leave school and look after the boys" if anything happened to my mother.

Please think about your daughters before considering a school like this.

This is so obviously a fake post. Your telling me that your parents bought all the brothers cars, privte school, and college... then told u that u get nothing? Seriously? No one is falling for this fake post

That is precisely what happened. In a way, it's validating that you find this treatment unbelievable. It was normalized to me, and I was told I was selfish and jealous when I objected. My parents bought one brother several cars over the years. The others only got one. I once got a bicycle. There was an enormous discrepancy between my brothers and me regarding spending, behavioral expectations, and assigned chores. My brothers were expected to develop themselves and not help around the house, but I was supposed to clean and cook. This is not unusual in quiverful and "complementarian" families, so I worry about sisters and daughters caught in these situations. I would ask parents to consider any system that privileges men and boys over women and girls, as Opus Dei does. Boys who are taught that they are superior to their sisters develop some unpleasant characteristics that can get them in trouble as they get older, and girls in these situations are unlikely to remain close to their families. I suggest reading Tara Westover's book Educated.

Honestly you sound like a bigot making up a bizarre life story in order to smear the Catholic community. If someone came on to DCUM and said their house was robbed by a black person so therefore we need to be wary of blacks generally, Jeff would delete that thread in two seconds, as he should. Get lost, please.

Equating concern about Opus Dei with racism is absurd. Anybody can reference statements by Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, and some of his writings and comments about women are extremely disturbing. Escriva died in 1975, and I hope that in the almost 50 years since then, Opus Dei has evolved beyond his disrespectful assertions.

Your insults and lack of empathy do not reflect well on Heights parents (I assume you are one?) and reinforce my concerns about girls exposed to prejudice.

Either your story is fake, or your family is incredibly messed up. But either way it is not representative of Heights families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am suspicious if Opus Dei. Perhaps the Americanized version is better than the original, but its founder, Josemaria Escriva, had some very unhealthy ideas about corporal mortification and the subjection of women.

https://www.opus-info.org/index.php/Opus_Dei_info:FAQ

Scroll down to the parts "What is the role of women in the Opus Dei ideology?" and "What kind of person was Josemaria Escriva?"

These are NOT ideas I would want my sons to pick up on or my daughters to be exposed to.

Indeed! Normal Catholics know Opus Del is for extremist weirdos.

“Normal Catholics”- I see how tolerance only leans in one direction here.

And yet in 1982 Opus Dei was made into a personal prelature of the Pope. This means that Opus Dei is part of the Catholic Church, and the apostolate of the members falls under the direct jurisdiction of the prelate of Opus Dei wherever they are.

I don't think you've ever toured the school because if you had you would know that only the headmaster and a few teachers are Opus Dei. We sent our son there for 3-6 as non-catholics! It was a great experience. I wish we could have afforded to continue it. No, I couldn't even tell you which families, if any (I don't think there are many) are Opus Dei.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are seriously considering the Heights for our boys. We know a few families there, but not that many. We currently send our boys to a diocese school where there are some (not a ton) of well-to-do families that go to country clubs and fancy vacations. We definitely aren’t like that, we are a single income family and live a pretty modest lifestyle. Would we fit in there? Is it a school with tons of Uber wealthy families?

We are devout Catholics and very familiar with Opus Dei, please don’t feel the need to inform me of that.

There is an open house on October 21st. Go tour for yourself. Pay attention to those who are already part of the community. I think you will get a good sense of the place! Then come report back