Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

I agree. It's a hot take, but I agree.

[Anonymous]

Not coloring gray hair.
Chipped teeth
Missing teeth
Wearing clothing from Walmart and/or KMart
Bad posture

I do agree that small busted women can dress age appropriate but still look way more youthful.
Very large bust in a tight top or stretched out in a blouse just looks matronly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

Large breasts aren't a style choice. Unless you are talking about implants. It's like saying, being under 5'6" ages you. Or blue eyes age you.

NP and I’m taking this personally! I’m 52, 5’5” 130 lbs. and a bra size of 33E. I’ve always had large breasts on a small frame, but post menopause I think my 10 pound weight gain is because my breasts went up 2 bands and 2 cup sizes.

Get professionally fitted bras. I have for years. No tunic tops - makes me look like I’m wearing a choir robe. My bra fitting store convinced me to give up on
a minimizer and opt for well fitting, supportive bras instead.

Correctly fitting bras and great posture help!

Name of store?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think blonde makes most people look older than they actually are!

I’m 48 and naturally platinum blonde. I haven’t gone gray yet, so it’s just my hair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?

I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.

I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.

It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.

Oh god I wear that outfit every day, kill me now. Now what do I do??? Man this sucks. I hate getting old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

I think the pants look "old" because they are a very common, classic style. No judgment though because I have similar ones I bought years ago (not for $300, though).

But what one earth is going on with the "hand-distressed raw shirttail hem" shirt? Lol. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think blonde makes most people look older than they actually are!

I’m 48 and naturally platinum blonde. I haven’t gone gray yet, so it’s just my hair

Then that comment probably doesn’t apply to you, hence why it said “most”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?

I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.

I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.

It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.

Oh god I wear that outfit every day, kill me now. Now what do I do??? Man this sucks. I hate getting old!

You just update your wardrobe. That look was popular in 2014, you can buy clothes more than once a decade!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?

I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.

I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.

It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.

Oh god I wear that outfit every day, kill me now. Now what do I do??? Man this sucks. I hate getting old!

Honestly, the things that are making this look the most dated are, as always, the shoes and accessories. And the overdone fashion blogger hair but no one looks like that in real life anyway.

I think a more timeless, not trendy, version for the fall would be straight leg jeans + a sweater, with white sneakers. No long necklace, no indoor/statement scarf, jewelry should be more delicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol

I think capri leggings are unflattering, yes. The same reason as capri pants -- they are going to cut you off at the widest part of your calf. I would either go for a 7/8 legging (very flattering length, and you can get them in very thin, lightweight fabric that will be breathable in summer) or a bike short that comes to the knee. I don't generally like how my legs look and avoid shorts a lot, but the longer bike shorts have been making a come back and I'm going to try a pair this summer to wear on very casual days. I think it can look cute with a baggy tee and sneakers. It's very 80s, which is in.

As for jeans, if you like skinnies, stick with a slim straight cut. I think the skintight skinny jeans that are cut like leggings look bad -- a straighter leg will create a longer line. But you don't need to go wide leg or flare if that's not what you're used to or like. One of the main things about updating jeans from a generation ago is that you need a higher rise. Not like super high rise if that's not what you like or it doesn't look good on you, but you want jeans to sit at your natural waist.

Ok never thought about this for my capris leggings bc my calf is muscular and I have thin ankles so I thought it looked fine! But I’ll check out the 7/8 length. I think I have some but wear them in the fall.

Capris aren’t aging because of how they cut your leg or whatever you think is unflattering. They are aging because they are mostly worn by middle aged women who don’t want to show off their legs. There is little fundamentally aging about many of the clothes mentioned except 1) who wears and 2) whether it was a trend that is no longer trendy. (Ie, older people don’t keep up as much).

That's really it, isn't it! It's nothing inherent to the garment itself - it's the demographics of it. If it's a style worn by older people, it ages you.

I feel like a lightbulb just went off in my head.

[Anonymous]

The subject line of this thread is things that age women in their forties. But from the responses, you’d think we were talking about a bunch of 65 year olds.

How are all these women in their forties wearing capris, tunics, and complaining about “running too cold” to wear shorts?? And perhaps worst of all, you all seem oblivious?

I don’t understand how you can be in your forties, presumably passing through school pick up or drop off, regularly seeing other similarly aged parents at sports events and extracurricular activities, and not realize that dressing like a dowdy 60 year old kayaker isn’t a great look!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol

I think capri leggings are unflattering, yes. The same reason as capri pants -- they are going to cut you off at the widest part of your calf. I would either go for a 7/8 legging (very flattering length, and you can get them in very thin, lightweight fabric that will be breathable in summer) or a bike short that comes to the knee. I don't generally like how my legs look and avoid shorts a lot, but the longer bike shorts have been making a come back and I'm going to try a pair this summer to wear on very casual days. I think it can look cute with a baggy tee and sneakers. It's very 80s, which is in.

As for jeans, if you like skinnies, stick with a slim straight cut. I think the skintight skinny jeans that are cut like leggings look bad -- a straighter leg will create a longer line. But you don't need to go wide leg or flare if that's not what you're used to or like. One of the main things about updating jeans from a generation ago is that you need a higher rise. Not like super high rise if that's not what you like or it doesn't look good on you, but you want jeans to sit at your natural waist.

Ok never thought about this for my capris leggings bc my calf is muscular and I have thin ankles so I thought it looked fine! But I’ll check out the 7/8 length. I think I have some but wear them in the fall.

Capris aren’t aging because of how they cut your leg or whatever you think is unflattering. They are aging because they are mostly worn by middle aged women who don’t want to show off their legs. There is little fundamentally aging about many of the clothes mentioned except 1) who wears and 2) whether it was a trend that is no longer trendy. (Ie, older people don’t keep up as much).

That's really it, isn't it! It's nothing inherent to the garment itself - it's the demographics of it. If it's a style worn by older people, it ages you.

I feel like a lightbulb just went off in my head.

No, the PP is wrong. It's true capris are associated with older women and that influences how people view them. But they are also unflattering. They are unflattering on older women and they are unflattering on middle aged women. They are even unflattering on younger women, but younger women (1) don't wear them much, and (2) have other things going for them so that wearing a pair of unflattering pants won't matter so much.

But if you are looking to be stylish in your 40s, wearing capris will make you look bad, and in doing so will mark you as an older lady who doesn't care enough about how she looks. There is a narrower margin for making style mistakes the older you get, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hands down skinny jeans!
Skinny jeans it’s like wearing a huge sign on that says “I am old “

Sad to say, but this. I had to give up my beloved skinny jeans and update my style

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think blonde makes most people look older than they actually are!

Yes! And hair that is too dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?

I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.

I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.

It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.

Oh god I wear that outfit every day, kill me now. Now what do I do??? Man this sucks. I hate getting old!

This is easy to fix:

(1) No knee high boots. Buy new boots. Chelseas are classic, on trend, and easy to wear. Or sneakers, as a PP suggested.
(2) Tuck your top in, or choose a shirt or sweater where the hem hits at the waist or just below. Anything that hangs down lower looks sloppy and also marks you as a woman who is trying to conceal her tummy or butt
(3) Skinny jeans are fine but just go for more of a "skinny straight" instead of a jegging type jean. Since you're not wearing tall boots anymore, you don't need jeans tight enough to tuck into tall boots.
(4) Ditch the long pendant. You could literally just trade out the chain for a shorter one, or get a necklace that is both shorter and more delicate. They'd both be fine, depends on your preferences/style

The hair, rings, colors, choice of a top/jeans/boots are all fine. You don't have to totally overhaul your entire look, not everything has to be 100% of the moment trendy. But the proportions of how people dress have shifted in the last 10 years and you just need to make a few adjustments. To be honest, you have it easier than in previous generations. Imagine being the woman wearing foundation garments and circle skirts in 1965, or a Golden Age dress with a bustle in 1920. We've been dressing pretty similarly with only minor shifts for the last 30-50 years or so, plus a lot of fashions cycle back around in familiar ways (flare leg jeans, slip dresses). Since the advent of modern dressing in the late 60s/early 70s, it's gotten MUCH easier and cheaper to stay on trend.