Feel like a fish out of water in Vienna

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Woodson zoned area of Annandale, Canterbury Woods has a different vibe than Mantua

I just have to jump in and ask this poster ... what's your take, what's different?

I lived in Canterbury Woods for a couple of years and still have friends in Mantua. I think it's just the income level, which you can see in the average house prices. I'm thinking of the areas feeding to Canterbury Woods and Wakefield Chapel Elementary. The neighborhood has the Pentagon commuter bus that winds through it so it seemed like there were more government and military people, fewer attorneys. Both very nice places to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Woodson zoned area of Annandale, Canterbury Woods has a different vibe than Mantua

I just have to jump in and ask this poster ... what's your take, what's different?

I lived in Canterbury Woods for a couple of years and still have friends in Mantua. I think it's just the income level, which you can see in the average house prices. I'm thinking of the areas feeding to Canterbury Woods and Wakefield Chapel Elementary. The neighborhood has the Pentagon commuter bus that winds through it so it seemed like there were more government and military people, fewer attorneys. Both very nice places to live.

Sorry, Wakefield Forest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So after going through 8 pages of this, I have decided that I will never, ever move to Vienna. These Vienna posters are AWFUL.

OP was complaining that Vienna families were unwelcoming. Y'all realize you prove every point that she made, right?

+1

It's not just Vienna though. It's most of Northern VA.

OP here. Really? Are, say, Arlington/Fairfax/Burke/Bailey's Crossroads like this as well?

I live in Fairfax (zoned Robinson), and love it. We don't have a mean girls vibe going on here. It's very chill.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m probably one of the Vienna women who you’re talking down at but frankly, if you’re putting off the air that you’re judging us and you keep swearing at me, I may not want to be your friend. I don’t care if you’re single. I’d probably try and set you up with someone. But I don’t want to be judged for being a suburban mom in Vienna.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So after going through 8 pages of this, I have decided that I will never, ever move to Vienna. These Vienna posters are AWFUL.

OP was complaining that Vienna families were unwelcoming. Y'all realize you prove every point that she made, right?

+1

It's not just Vienna though. It's most of Northern VA.

OP here. Really? Are, say, Arlington/Fairfax/Burke/Bailey's Crossroads like this as well?

I live in Fairfax (zoned Robinson), and love it. We don't have a mean girls vibe going on here. It's very chill.

Yeah, I'm in Burke, also zoned to Robinson, and have not encountered any competitiveness/keeping up with the Joneses. But that's because Burke is not sought after the way Vienna or N. Arlington are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to rock the boat but also want everyone to like me.

What a narcissit.

I find people who characterize or conceive of themselves as too honest for other people to handle are often just idiot loudmouths.

Not sure what place would be a good fit for a personality like that.

I don't think OP expects everyone to like her. I think she probably wants some people to like her and not to rush to exclude her because she can be outspoken and opinionated at times.

That sort of stuff can just be the kiss of death in Vienna. It sounds like you either have no idea how quickly Vienna parents can ostracize someone who doesn't fit the mold or are one of those folks.

It is bizarre to me how people are so delusional and out of touch that they can’t even fathom that people in DMV suburb like Vienna are more conformist and than usual and that is more milquetoast than most areas. The DMV, especially NoVA, is much more conformist than the nation in general because there are a lot of government employees and a lot of defense contractors. These aren’t the type of people who are known to think outside the box and break the rules - I know that might be a shock to some people. There are places in almost every place in the country that would be less conformist than Vienna, or extreme cases like Austin, Bushwick, Silver Lake, etc. To act like the whole country is just homogeneous and there’s no different in the vibe of Vienna and the vibe of even a place like Takoma Park is just not true. OP just hasn’t found her tribe and should move to someplace else. It’s not her fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why didn’t you look in Hyattsville/Riverdale/University Park area? You’d fit right in there.

I can't move to Prince George's County due to my divorce decree. DC and MoCo are within limits.

Well move to Takoma Park or Silver Spring. Vienna is basic and uptight for the DMV, and that’s saying something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why didn’t you look in Hyattsville/Riverdale/University Park area? You’d fit right in there.

I can't move to Prince George's County due to my divorce decree. DC and MoCo are within limits.

Well move to Takoma Park or Silver Spring. Vienna is basic and uptight for the DMV, and that’s saying something.

And if you want to stay in VA move to Del Ray or South Arlington. Way more single moms and not a lot of Stepford Wife vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved from DC to Vienna three years ago for more space (and also because my work moved completely remote). I thought that the tight-knit sense of community would appeal to me and my two kids (late elementary school), but that hasn’t really been the case.

I feel like a fish out of water. I’m a single mom, and already I feel like that separates me from the family-oriented nature of Vienna. I also don’t really fit into the suburban soccer mom stereotype that Vienna is known for. I’m not super interested in playing politics with my neighbors. I’m pretty vocal about social injustice and I curse a lot — I don’t really buy into the “don’t rock the boat” ethos around me.

The competitive nature of the other parents and the Type A pressure cooker of the schools also concern me. I’m a psychologist and I’ve seen WAY too many teens in this area break down because of the intense pressure, and I sometimes feel like I should’ve chosen a “lower performing” school that doesn’t have the relentless pressure to succeed.

The tightly-wound nature of the other parents bother me, and sometimes they make comments about how I’m not “pushing” my kids by putting them in travel sports or extra academic enrichment. It just seems like most of the people around me are Type A rule-following lawyers, which feels really weird as someone who spent my teens and twenties going to punk shows and making lots of (bad) art…

And the conservatism of the area is unsettling. I don’t really find any Trump supporters/far-right people in the area, but there is a general social conservatism and intense conformity that feels uncomfortable.

Is this just what living in the suburbs is like? Or is it intensified in Vienna? Is there another NoVa/Moco/DC neighborhood where parents like me congregate?

OP, this is Vienna. We live in the Va suburbs and specifically did not look in Vienna because we were already familiar with the politics and feel of the city. It has a type. Yes, it's full of the new construction homes, good schools, and other amenities, but it is a notably conservative red dot in an otherwise blue sea. I mean, Comstock!

We opted for one of the more liberal/mixed suburbs (FFX) and have quite enjoyed it, so it is not what the suburbs are like. FFX, Burke, ARL, etc. do not feel like Vienna. And you don't have to settle for "Lower performing" schools. Woodson, Lake Braddock, Robinson are great, and don't feel like Madison.

Anyway, if you can move, do it. I'd not want to live in Vienna. If you can't, find your tribe. They are there, though a small minority

Nah. Comstock did not represent most of Vienna when she was in Congress. Her district was mostly further north and further west. Vienna was mostly represented then, and now, by Gerry Connolly.

And Vienna is not a "notably conservative red dot in an otherwise blue sea." It's part of the blue sea where people generally are politically liberal, but socially conservative and rather conformist when it comes to interacting with others in social settings.

And if you want to say that your neighbors are friendlier, or more open, or less reserved and judgmental than people in Vienna, please go ahead, but it sounds like you're just resurrecting the whole "Goldilocks" thing - "my slightly less affluent area is just the right temperature, but your slightly more affluent area is too hot/too cold."

This.

Vienna is not conservative, at least not politically. Check the polling numbers for yourself. Vienna is reliably blue in every election.

That has nothing to do with being conformist or uptight. Mark Warner is a Democrat, but he has a much more conformist and “conservative” vibe than a lot of Republicans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blah...Blah...Blah...

Welcome to the suburbs.

This is the difference between the gritty city life and suburbs. Make peace with it, or you're gonna be miserable.

Nope. People in a place like Takoma Park or Del Ray are much different than people in Vienna. The vibe of the communities are much different. Every suburb isn’t the same. A suburb of LA is going to be much different than a suburb of Dallas, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I moved to Vienna with my family in 2021, and we love it here. I might appear to be the type of person you're not interested in, but I'm actually pretty cool. even though my oldest is still in pre-school, I'm already very wary of the insane pressure we put on kids to do well in school. That being said, you will find that all over the DMV and anyone saying otherwise is lying or wrong. Anyways, I'd love to make some new friends. I love live music, tasty food, good (and bad) television and movies, and being outside. Happy to meet up for a walk or a beer if you want a new friend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another single mom here. Everyone was so welcoming, and then found out I was a single mom. Definitely now feel shunned. I also am zoned to some Vienna schools but live south. DC plays in Vienna sports teams, and I am prepping DC for AAP, etc. But I definitely feel Vienna has a conservative vibe in terms of 2 parent families and where you live.

Hi there! I responded to OP above, I've been here a little over a year and I like it a lot! I'm not a single mom but have plenty of friends who are. If you ever want to grab a drink or go for a walk, I'm game!

I'll never understand the mentality of couples who only want to hang out with other couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to rock the boat but also want everyone to like me.

What a narcissit.

I find people who characterize or conceive of themselves as too honest for other people to handle are often just idiot loudmouths.

Not sure what place would be a good fit for a personality like that.

I don't think OP expects everyone to like her. I think she probably wants some people to like her and not to rush to exclude her because she can be outspoken and opinionated at times.

That sort of stuff can just be the kiss of death in Vienna. It sounds like you either have no idea how quickly Vienna parents can ostracize someone who doesn't fit the mold or are one of those folks.

It is bizarre to me how people are so delusional and out of touch that they can’t even fathom that people in DMV suburb like Vienna are more conformist and than usual and that is more milquetoast than most areas. The DMV, especially NoVA, is much more conformist than the nation in general because there are a lot of government employees and a lot of defense contractors. These aren’t the type of people who are known to think outside the box and break the rules - I know that might be a shock to some people. There are places in almost every place in the country that would be less conformist than Vienna, or extreme cases like Austin, Bushwick, Silver Lake, etc. To act like the whole country is just homogeneous and there’s no different in the vibe of Vienna and the vibe of even a place like Takoma Park is just not true. OP just hasn’t found her tribe and should move to someplace else. It’s not her fault.

You sound like a teenager. I'm guess you've never lived in Austin or LA if you really think they're all that different. You really think the tech bros overrunning Austin are any better than the average Nova resident.

The average person in this region is just trying to raise a family, just like anywhere else in the world. Sorry that aren't enough trust funders around here for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to rock the boat but also want everyone to like me.

What a narcissit.

I find people who characterize or conceive of themselves as too honest for other people to handle are often just idiot loudmouths.

Not sure what place would be a good fit for a personality like that.

I don't think OP expects everyone to like her. I think she probably wants some people to like her and not to rush to exclude her because she can be outspoken and opinionated at times.

That sort of stuff can just be the kiss of death in Vienna. It sounds like you either have no idea how quickly Vienna parents can ostracize someone who doesn't fit the mold or are one of those folks.

It is bizarre to me how people are so delusional and out of touch that they can’t even fathom that people in DMV suburb like Vienna are more conformist and than usual and that is more milquetoast than most areas. The DMV, especially NoVA, is much more conformist than the nation in general because there are a lot of government employees and a lot of defense contractors. These aren’t the type of people who are known to think outside the box and break the rules - I know that might be a shock to some people. There are places in almost every place in the country that would be less conformist than Vienna, or extreme cases like Austin, Bushwick, Silver Lake, etc. To act like the whole country is just homogeneous and there’s no different in the vibe of Vienna and the vibe of even a place like Takoma Park is just not true. OP just hasn’t found her tribe and should move to someplace else. It’s not her fault.

You sound like a teenager. I'm guess you've never lived in Austin or LA if you really think they're all that different. You really think the tech bros overrunning Austin are any better than the average Nova resident.

The average person in this region is just trying to raise a family, just like anywhere else in the world. Sorry that aren't enough trust funders around here for you.

You bring an interesting mix of insistent and misguided to the discussion. Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I moved to Vienna with my family in 2021, and we love it here. I might appear to be the type of person you're not interested in, but I'm actually pretty cool. even though my oldest is still in pre-school, I'm already very wary of the insane pressure we put on kids to do well in school. That being said, you will find that all over the DMV and anyone saying otherwise is lying or wrong. Anyways, I'd love to make some new friends. I love live music, tasty food, good (and bad) television and movies, and being outside. Happy to meet up for a walk or a beer if you want a new friend!