Experienced Parents: What was DCUM right/wrong about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What DCUM got right: being a recruited athlete is the best hook.

+1
Talent and hard work in athletics and in the classroom can really pay off!

What do people do with kids who are not talented athletes?

Get them started with a sport they enjoy when they are young. You don’t need to be a natural athlete. It can be learned.

Yes, any kid can learn a sport and get better. But, if your goal is for your kid to be recruited, that’s another matter. Many parents waste 10s of thousands of dollars and tons of time trying to turn their mediocre athlete into a recruitment star. It overwhelmingly doesn’t work. If your kid loves their sport, they get playing time, and they excel relative to others in the game, you may have something. Otherwise, put your money in a 529.

Point taken. My kid is a recruited athlete at a high academic D3. Good but not great athlete. We spend less than 5k per year. Grades and stats in the top 25% of applicants in a school that accepts less than 7%. The investment in the sport was well worth it.

But that is basically a needle in a haystack. One DC played club for years and opted not to pursue recruiting in college. Only 3 kids got scholarships. Two were generous, one knocked down the price and the remainder covered by EFC and need. The other three are playing but minimal money - in that group, all probably measure up with your DC.

One kid really expected to get a scholarship AT ANY SCHOOL and it simply didn't pan out. Kid was super fast, quite talented, not always the best team player, and on the very small side for even a D3 school. Parents were devastated.

Finally, how are you paying less than 5k at a high academic D3 as D3s do not offer athletic scholarships? Perhaps your DC got a robust aid package, even merit, but not an athletic scholarship.

The poster meant they spent 5K per year on their kids youth sport as if that is a bargain. That is so DCUM bubble. The vast majority of us families do not have 5K available for youth sports for each child every year.

We do sports and music. We don't do it for college but to support our child's interests and exercise.

Sure. Lots of affluent families invest in all manner of educational opportunities before their kids. This type of support is not available to less affluent kids. It what it is....the American way. And it is a big advantage in college admissions to kids that could afford to develop their talents

Do you even think about what you say before you say it? Our music program has scholarships and the sports program is through the county which also has aid. And, the tutoring we do is FREE through the school system. We are far from wealthy. We rarely take vacations (its been about 5 years), drive old cars (except one newer one and the other one we have is 15+ years old) and live in a tiny house most people on DCUM would never even consider. We DIY all home repairs that we can. That's how we've saved for college.

If you live in a million dollar house take a vacation or multiple vacations a year, and live a plush lifestyle, then you have zero right ot complain.

+1000
So many make choices to not save. Then complain later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right:

There is no real merit aid out there. You must plan and save a lot and early, or be prepared to take on significant loans. Even if your kid is very smart.

Wrong. Our kids both got big merit scholarships which resulted in us paying roughly half of the full sticker price.

^^^ Both at top 30 schools.

Which top 30 schools ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right:
DCUM is proof that people will say a lot of things anonymously that they'd never attach their names to.
Parents act in self interested and disrespectful ways but are also often wonderful and supportive.
There are a lot of amazing kids in this area and thankfully many will be admitted to wonderful schools.

Wrong:
There is a belief here that certain people somehow genuinely deserve admission more than others. People self report stats and get upset or humblebrag.
URMs and athletes are "the reason" my kid wasn't admitted to X school.
Top 25 universities and LACs are the only ones that matter or are worth discussing.

+100
It amazes me how many parents actually think their kid was entitled to admission at X school, because they were "high stats." They refuse to acknowledge all the *other* high stats kids who were admitted. No one is entitled to a spot, period.

[Anonymous]

Wrong: that gpa + test scores = "merit"

Some people here think there is a recipe for top tier admissions, and when it doesn't work the way they want, they suggest that the schools accept students with less "merit." Top schools are looking for great students who will also contribute to the diversity of the student body environment. They don't realize that there are many times the number of meritous students as there are available spots. So, they accuse the universities of "dumbing down" or discrimination against "smarter" students because of race. They don't get that all the contenders are the highly qualified students. They just value the criteria they invested in over all other criteria.

[Anonymous]

The students from our W school that got into Ivy League schools were ALL legacy and sports admits. All of them. Unless you have a hook, focus on top public schools and/or the top in your state. It’s not a lottery getting into a top Ivy school, it’s that their parents are alumni.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The students from our W school that got into Ivy League schools were ALL legacy and sports admits. All of them. Unless you have a hook, focus on top public schools and/or the top in your state. It’s not a lottery getting into a top Ivy school, it’s that their parents are alumni.

Our DC graduated from a W school last year. Is this true? How do you know?

[Anonymous]

I will bite what's a W school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: that gpa + test scores = "merit"

Some people here think there is a recipe for top tier admissions, and when it doesn't work the way they want, they suggest that the schools accept students with less "merit." Top schools are looking for great students who will also contribute to the diversity of the student body environment. They don't realize that there are many times the number of meritous students as there are available spots. So, they accuse the universities of "dumbing down" or discrimination against "smarter" students because of race. They don't get that all the contenders are the highly qualified students. They just value the criteria they invested in over all other criteria.

Not sure what you mean by merit, but if you’re talking about merit aid at slightly less rigorous/well-ranked schools, the formula typically is GPA and test scores. In fact, some publics post a table showing GPA/test score combos and the merit aid you will receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong: all the anxiety. If you want to make this process elongated and a mess, you can, but you don’t have to. Just be reasonable, have a strategy, execute, and keep to yourself. Oh, and when you “win,” nobody wants to hear about it, especially if you got great results.

What does "win" mean?

My DC is a freshman in college now. So we've already "Won?"

Is "winning" getting accepted? (DC did this)
is "winning" getting a great SAT/ACT score? (DC didn't do this)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The students from our W school that got into Ivy League schools were ALL legacy and sports admits. All of them. Unless you have a hook, focus on top public schools and/or the top in your state. It’s not a lottery getting into a top Ivy school, it’s that their parents are alumni.

this is an example of what people get wrong.

[Anonymous]

Right:
When my oldest was going through the search process, I had never heard of the Common Data Set or Naviance. Both turned out to be valuable tools he used in his search process.

Wrong:
College Fairs are a waste of time. We just went to the college fair at GMU last night. It was packed and difficult to even walk around there were SO many people there. But there were quite a range of colleges represented - lots of big state schools, most of the schools in Virginia, a handful of high academic schools, all of the military academies. My youngest is a senior and is in the middle of the application process. He has his reach and target schools but needs a safety school, which has not been easy. He went in last night with a positive attitude and had the list of schools he wanted to talk to plus the couple my DH and I suggested. He tends to ask the non-academic questions: dorm situation, food, greek life, sporting events, etc. We braved the crowds and talked to several reps. I'm happy to report that he found a school that peaked his interest and he did more research once he got home. This morning, he took his transcript request into school, adding this school to his list. Yeah for college fairs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will bite what's a W school?

It's shorthand for Winston Churchill, Walter Johnson, Walt Whitman, Thomas Wootton - a bunch of Montgomery County, MD public high schools that churn out a high percentage of high stat kids. In the end, I'd say a 1/4 to 1/3 of these kids end up going to UMD, at least they did from our W school this fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The students from our W school that got into Ivy League schools were ALL legacy and sports admits. All of them. Unless you have a hook, focus on top public schools and/or the top in your state. It’s not a lottery getting into a top Ivy school, it’s that their parents are alumni.

+2 My kid is at a Big3 private and the Ivy admits were all (almost all?) athletic recruits, legacy (usually double legacy) or URM. And the legacy kids were usually ALSO URM or athletic admits. I will add that all of these kids are are known to be very smart with high stats. I know one crazy smart accomplished kid that went HYP last year and I was sure they were not a recruit or URM or legacy. And then my kid said in passing that parent and grandparent went to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will bite what's a W school?

It's shorthand for Winston Churchill, Walter Johnson, Walt Whitman, Thomas Wootton - a bunch of Montgomery County, MD public high schools that churn out a high percentage of high stat kids. In the end, I'd say a 1/4 to 1/3 of these kids end up going to UMD, at least they did from our W school this fall.

Yup. A lot of UMC families who fall into the doughnut hole. Private undergrad isn’t a good value for them, especially if they’re considering medical or law school after college.

[Anonymous]

Our big three had admits to Ivies - including HYP - they weren’t athletes/urm/legacy - but certainly not many.