Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in public schools.

Full stop.

It actually seriously annoys me how many of my neighbors (CCMD, the named part) send their kids to private school. It’s like you have all the resources to build a strong community resource but your ego wins?!?

No hon. What wins is my kids are in a classroom of no more than 12kids. I have zero interest I. My kids being one of 25 layered in an inclusion classroom. I moved out of public schools because of the chaos.

[Anonymous]

Our kids went to private school then switched to public schools in a good district. We found the students were smarter at the public schools, there was more choice, there were gifted options and better teachers. The public school facilities were also better. The commute was much easier, wasting less time and contributing less pollution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live next to Langley HS and my kids should go to Langley HS but they are NOT.  They are attending Potomac School, not far from Langley HS.  I am sure Langley HS is one of the top public schools in Virginia but it is not Potomac.  My kids just happen to like Potomac better than Langley HS.

Have they tried Langley? How do they know which school they like best if they haven't tried both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids went to private school then switched to public schools in a good district. We found the students were smarter at the public schools, there was more choice, there were gifted options and better teachers. The public school facilities were also better. The commute was much easier, wasting less time and contributing less pollution.

Funny, I did the opposite and came to the opposite conclusion. Teachers and facilities are much better than at the best public school in my town (granted, not the DMV). I cringe at the costs and would love to have a big house and free quality education in a non crowded building without mold and good teachers. No such luck. The school where most kids from public middle go in my area requires a 35-40 minute drive and has over 3000 students. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private is not always better than public. So the only person I’m judging here is you, for blind stupidity.

Students can be at a low to high FARMS public or an expensive private and get entitled kids, insular groups, etc. If anyone looks at stats on sending to private v public one might see a lower private send rate in comparable housing areas based on local jurisidctions. In the DMV with county wide school districts we saw more migration to private.

What does that mean? Take a small school district in a PA, NJ, NY suburb with maybe 1-2 high schools and there are less going to private. Some areas might have a really strong catholic school or schools in the mix. Howver, as a public improves the private could have enrollment decreases. We know of one example in Phila suburbs that closed.

Some years or for certain class grad years there might be higher applications to privates based on poor administration at any given FCPS school for example.

[Anonymous]

What an odd thing to worry about.

Is the OP the same person posting in the Politics forum accusing the wealthy of being free loaders if they don't work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids went to private school then switched to public schools in a good district. We found the students were smarter at the public schools, there was more choice, there were gifted options and better teachers. The public school facilities were also better. The commute was much easier, wasting less time and contributing less pollution.

Funny, I did the opposite and came to the opposite conclusion. Teachers and facilities are much better than at the best public school in my town (granted, not the DMV). I cringe at the costs and would love to have a big house and free quality education in a non crowded building without mold and good teachers. No such luck. The school where most kids from public middle go in my area requires a 35-40 minute drive and has over 3000 students. No thanks.

You’re not in dmv though dear

[Anonymous]

My thoughts? It’s none of my business how other people spend their money.

[Anonymous]

My thoughts on private schools and country clubs are the same. People are willing to spend lots of money to control who they interact with and weed out anyone they don’t want to interact with. I don’t want to be around those kinds of people which is why I would never do private schools or country clubs.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome.

I think it's more about parent involvement. We have been very involved parents, so no coasting for kids in public schools. If you truly want to outsource kids education to a school, then perhaps private school is better. No one knows my kid better than me. No one else, regardless of how much I pay them, would be as invested as me in my kids success and well being. But if your kid is the top of every class in public school and is learning nothing (in school or outside in enrichment activities) then perhaps it's time to consider a private school. This is only for neurotypical kids, I do understand some kids do have special needs which may not be academic related.

I am not sure why only schools are held accountable for "pushing" the students, the parents have much more influence and can do a better job at "pushing" if they want to.

The problem with this is your kid needs to be invested in their own success and welll being. Kids who are pushed are lost when they are adults

Like most of the things in life, "pushing" is shades of grey. If a school requires rigor and HW then it is considered "challenging curriculum" which some posters are advocating about private schools. If a parents requires kids to do their best it's called "pushing". It will so depend on your parenting style and child. Like I said no one knows your child better than you. Only you and/or your child can decide whether they are "appropriately challenged" or "pushed". When I was in my home country, we were required to memorize multiplication tables by grade 2. Since I moved to US, if I require my kids to memorize multiplication table by grade 2, it will be called pushing, because somehow the grade standards are set to memorize the multiplication tables by grade 3/4 in US. My kids have the same genes, again neurotypical bright kids, should I expect less from them? What if we moved back to my home country, what is considered "pushing" here is "normal" there. Again shades of grey. But yes, I agree "too much pushing" can and will lead to mental health problems, but "too little pushing" can also lead to "coasting"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts on private schools and country clubs are the same. People are willing to spend lots of money to control who they interact with and weed out anyone they don’t want to interact with. I don’t want to be around those kinds of people which is why I would never do private schools or country clubs.

I wasn't a big fan of the private school mentality either, BUT then found out that my kid's class at a "great" public in MoCo had 27 kids.

5-6 were ESL. Another 3-4 had behavioral issues or significant learning challenges.

At our first PT conference, the teacher told us that she was basically doing triage. All she could do was focus on the kids with the most urgent needs, and she couldn't help or challenge the other kids.

Basically, if you weren't failing or getting punched, you were not getting any attention.

So we sent our kid to private, not because we wanted to or to "weed out" anyone, but because our kid was basically being ignored at an overtaxed, understaffed public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe in public schools.

Full stop.

It actually seriously annoys me how many of my neighbors (CCMD, the named part) send their kids to private school. It’s like you have all the resources to build a strong community resource but your ego wins?!?

No hon. What wins is my kids are in a classroom of no more than 12kids. I have zero interest I. My kids being one of 25 layered in an inclusion classroom. I moved out of public schools because of the chaos.

^
To avoid this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts on private schools and country clubs are the same. People are willing to spend lots of money to control who they interact with and weed out anyone they don’t want to interact with. I don’t want to be around those kinds of people which is why I would never do private schools or country clubs.

I wasn't a big fan of the private school mentality either, BUT then found out that my kid's class at a "great" public in MoCo had 27 kids.

5-6 were ESL. Another 3-4 had behavioral issues or significant learning challenges.

At our first PT conference, the teacher told us that she was basically doing triage. All she could do was focus on the kids with the most urgent needs, and she couldn't help or challenge the other kids.

Basically, if you weren't failing or getting punched, you were not getting any attention.

So we sent our kid to private, not because we wanted to or to "weed out" anyone, but because our kid was basically being ignored at an overtaxed, understaffed public.

Damn wgeee this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts on private schools and country clubs are the same. People are willing to spend lots of money to control who they interact with and weed out anyone they don’t want to interact with. I don’t want to be around those kinds of people which is why I would never do private schools or country clubs.

I wasn't a big fan of the private school mentality either, BUT then found out that my kid's class at a "great" public in MoCo had 27 kids.

5-6 were ESL. Another 3-4 had behavioral issues or significant learning challenges.

At our first PT conference, the teacher told us that she was basically doing triage. All she could do was focus on the kids with the most urgent needs, and she couldn't help or challenge the other kids.

Basically, if you weren't failing or getting punched, you were not getting any attention.

So we sent our kid to private, not because we wanted to or to "weed out" anyone, but because our kid was basically being ignored at an overtaxed, understaffed public.

Whatever you need to tell yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thoughts on private schools and country clubs are the same. People are willing to spend lots of money to control who they interact with and weed out anyone they don’t want to interact with. I don’t want to be around those kinds of people which is why I would never do private schools or country clubs.

I wasn't a big fan of the private school mentality either, BUT then found out that my kid's class at a "great" public in MoCo had 27 kids.

5-6 were ESL. Another 3-4 had behavioral issues or significant learning challenges.

At our first PT conference, the teacher told us that she was basically doing triage. All she could do was focus on the kids with the most urgent needs, and she couldn't help or challenge the other kids.

Basically, if you weren't failing or getting punched, you were not getting any attention.

So we sent our kid to private, not because we wanted to or to "weed out" anyone, but because our kid was basically being ignored at an overtaxed, understaffed public.

Whatever you need to tell yourself.

Because this situation never happens in Moco schools? Ok