Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

[Anonymous]

I dunno. But if you go to North-East Arlington, there are a lot of families that live in in expensive houses with expensive cars who belong to a country club AND who send their kids to public school. Whatduya think about that?

[Anonymous]

The financial implications of private school tuition are much more significant than buying an expensive home or cars because houses and cars are assets that can be leveraged or sold, and in the case of houses, usually help maintain or increase wealth. Private school tuition, on the other hand, is money you will never see again, and that you are paying repeatedly over a certain number of years, perhaps many. Committing to private school tuition for a number of years is one of the most surefire way to inhibit the growth of wealth, particularly among UMC people who rely no salaries to maintain their lifestyles.

There are obviously good reasons to choose private school, and many sacrifice to do so. But for most people, spending less on housing and cars doesn't suddenly make private school a good financial idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

LOL!!!!!! No, I'm correcting your word use. All that fancy education and you still don't understand the difference between lay and lie! The school's advantage lies*** in uniformly high expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The financial implications of private school tuition are much more significant than buying an expensive home or cars because houses and cars are assets that can be leveraged or sold, and in the case of houses, usually help maintain or increase wealth. Private school tuition, on the other hand, is money you will never see again, and that you are paying repeatedly over a certain number of years, perhaps many. Committing to private school tuition for a number of years is one of the most surefire way to inhibit the growth of wealth, particularly among UMC people who rely no salaries to maintain their lifestyles.

There are obviously good reasons to choose private school, and many sacrifice to do so. But for most people, spending less on housing and cars doesn't suddenly make private school a good financial idea.

This is why we won’t go private. The truly excellent ones are a huge expense for any family that doesn’t have generational wealth. I think that’s why a lot of umc families in this family try to elevate catholic school to something it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

I find good public schools to be part of good education and growth of kids. They stay humble and grounded this way.

The worse you want is entitlement in your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

Haha. NP here. She's correcting your grammar, not challenging the veracity of your statements!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find good public schools to be part of good education and growth of kids. They stay humble and grounded this way.

The worse you want is entitlement in your kid.

My kids go to a public school where at least 95 percent are upper middle class white (or Asian) kids. Our kids and their classmates live in million dollar homes, travel multiple times and year and have parents with highly skilled, professional jobs.

Our kids don’t even see middle class lifestyles in the bubble of our public school. They are only in elementary school now, but are already starting to get super entitled unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I believe in public schools.

Full stop.

It actually seriously annoys me how many of my neighbors (CCMD, the named part) send their kids to private school. It’s like you have all the resources to build a strong community resource but your ego wins?!?

[Anonymous]

I like and believe strongly in public schools. I am a proud product of them. I think they are vital to our citizenry and to having strong communities. It never ever occurred to me to consider private schools for my children - I don't just assume that something is better because it costs $$$.

Plus DH is a product of 13 years of private school, and he was adamant we send our kids to public schools, so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in public schools.

Full stop.

It actually seriously annoys me how many of my neighbors (CCMD, the named part) send their kids to private school. It’s like you have all the resources to build a strong community resource but your ego wins?!?

I'm in DC and feel this way about both private school AND charters. So many neighbors who send their kid to privates (including mediocre privates) or to a charter two miles away. We have a good IB school! They'll tell you that it's just that the school wasn't right for their kid because they needed XYZ to "thrive". But my feeling is that if my kid needs XYZ, I'll look to provide that myself. But she will go to the neighborhood public school where she will learn to be part of a community of children with varying needs, backgrounds, family situations, etc. Concur with what others have said about kids needing to learn about people unlike themselves and develop empathy and good citizenship. I just don't see how you do that by sending your child to a school where the kids and families are as similar to you as possible. When do they get outside that bubble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

LOL!!!!!! No, I'm correcting your word use. All that fancy education and you still don't understand the difference between lay and lie! The school's advantage lies*** in uniformly high expectations.

Funny misunderstanding.

Thx for the correction! Past tense, since we were discussing my class in particular, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I will be the outlier here and say that when kids are in top rated districts but have 30+ in a class with no aide and their parents can *easily* afford to get them out there…I totally think they should.

That doesn’t mean they need to go to Beauvoir with all the status obsession. Far from it. But put your kids in a learning environment in which you yourself would want to spend 7 hours a day. Calm, functional and imbued with respect.

I have the same thoughts. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t send your kids to private if you could afford it. Sure, they can get a quality education in public, but the experience is much better overall in private.

Did you attend public school throughout k-12 and also somehow attend private school throughout k-12? No? Then you have no way of knowing this.

[Anonymous]

Thoughts on people who believe private school is always the best education? Ignorant consumers or striving vapid parents?

[Anonymous]

Thought experiment: how different would this conversation be if parents had vouchers and school choice? Let’s discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

LOL!!!!!! No, I'm correcting your word use. All that fancy education and you still don't understand the difference between lay and lie! The school's advantage lies*** in uniformly high expectations.

Funny misunderstanding.

Thx for the correction! Past tense, since we were discussing my class in particular, no?

then it would be lied.