Reply to Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.[/quote]

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.[/quote]

Former teacher:  overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge. [/quote]

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year.  HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's[/quote]

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

[/quote]

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”[/quote]

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students. [/quote]

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome. [/quote]

I think it's more about parent involvement. We have been very involved parents, so no coasting for kids in public schools. If you truly want to outsource kids education to a school, then perhaps private school is better. No one knows my kid better than me. No one else, regardless of how much I pay them, would be as invested as me in my kids success and well being.  But if your kid is the top of every class in public school and is learning nothing (in school or outside in enrichment activities) then perhaps it's time to consider a private school. This is only for neurotypical kids, I do understand some kids do have special needs which may not be academic related.

I am not sure why only schools are held accountable for "pushing" the students, the parents have much more influence and can do a better job at "pushing" if they want to.  [/quote]

The problem with this is your kid needs to be invested in their own success and welll being. Kids who are pushed are lost when they are adults[/quote]

Like most of the things in life, "pushing" is shades of grey. If a school requires rigor and HW then it is considered "challenging curriculum" which some posters are advocating about private schools. If a parents requires kids to do their best it's called "pushing". It will so depend on your parenting style and child. Like I said no one knows your child better than you. Only you and/or your child can decide whether they are "appropriately challenged" or "pushed". When I was in my home country, we were required to memorize multiplication tables by grade 2. Since I moved to US, if I require my kids to memorize multiplication table by grade 2, it will be called pushing, because somehow the grade standards are set to memorize the multiplication tables by grade 3/4 in US. My kids have the same genes, again neurotypical bright kids, should I expect less from them? What if we moved back to my home country, what is considered "pushing" here is "normal" there. Again shades of grey. But yes, I agree "too much pushing" can and will lead to mental health problems, but "too little pushing" can also lead to "coasting"   [/quote]

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