Why are older men attracted to very young women when they are older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men of all ages prefer young women because they're more fertile. That's how human beings are wired. We're animals, remember?

It’s this. Evolutionary psychologists have established a lot of evidence on this through various survey data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men of all ages prefer young women because they're more fertile. That's how human beings are wired. We're animals, remember?

It’s this. Evolutionary psychologists have established a lot of evidence on this through various survey data.

This is a one model behavioral explanation mostly derived from earlier research in 80s, 90s. It has also been repeatedly demonstrated as incomplete in psychology. It was derived from an attempt to explain human purpose but does not adequately explain love and the intimate emotional bond that is established between people.

[Anonymous]

Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

[Anonymous]

The men are literally telling the women on this thread why they're attracted to younger women, but the women don't want to believe them/can't understand. If the roles were reversed this would be "mansplaining", arrogance by men, etc.

You may think it's pathetic, don't understand, etc. but you're not a man. Just like I would never tell women they should like breastfeeding until the kid turns 3, or they should find it fun to sleep with random men on the first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men of all ages prefer young women because they're more fertile. That's how human beings are wired. We're animals, remember?

Man here, this is it, full stop. I am 45 and its just a primal thing. I wouldn't date a 25 year old because I would feel foolish (and old around her) but from a pure attraction, all else being equal, younger women are super attractive.

And I am not picking on women, younger men have better bodies (and better stamina) than older men like me.

Of course, there is more to attraction than just a hot body, and I find lots of women my age hot. But lets not complicate why men of all ages find young women hot. It's simple biology.

This is true. I'm a 40-something woman and I can't stop fantasizing about my kid's twenty-something soccer coach, mostly because he's got an insane body.

Ew, cougars are gross.

Signed,
A 40-something man who fantasizes about 20-something women and teens (yeah, it's a double standard - deal with it)

[Anonymous]

Same reason I, a woman, prefer younger men. Better bodies, l ess baggage..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we cut to the chase. Younger women look better than women in 40s or 50s

Thats just not all of it. Sorry.

The guys on this thread are saying it is, the Women are saying it’s not. As a guy, yes that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Younger women are prettier, have better bodies, and most important, they have better personalities. I'm a 56 year old man dating a 27 year old.

Prettier-fair skinned women, yes. Everyone else loses that little girl cheek-chub, snout-nose as they get fuller into womanhood. Better bodies-mmm NE maybe, otherwise gen x has a smaller waist circumference and bmi than millennials. Better personalities--I'll definitely give you this one as same or better for girls. UVa Gen X has the racists raised on the spock books. There are even shows from the 2000s with the term "the cool slash mean girls"-Justin from Ugly Betty.

I can’t make sense of this word salad.

I thought it was just me, except I was going to say word vomit. Salad sounds nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same reason I, a woman, prefer younger men. Better bodies, l ess baggage..

No one asked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power.

Genuinely curious here - would you consider marrying a woman 20 years younger than you and maybe even in their early 20’s (depending on your age. Not sure if this is younger than the 20 yr diff you site). Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband says he is more attracted to women his age and older (and no he is not humoring me we are pretty open about these things). He says it feels weird to check out women who are so much younger.

Mine won't say this out loud, but both his previous dating history and current porn searches I've found support this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power.

Genuinely curious here - would you consider marrying a woman 20 years younger than you and maybe even in their early 20’s (depending on your age. Not sure if this is younger than the 20 yr diff you site). Why or why not? [/quote

Very unlikely.

I really wanted to marry a woman my exact age (early 40s) that I dated a few years back. We both had children that were similar ages and I could picture a future together.

Getting dumped gutted me for a long time. When I was finally ready to have a relationship again, she was also close to my age (five years younger). Attractive, extremely successful career and former college athlete. But my heart was never in it because she didn’t measure up to my previous relationship in my own messed up psyche.

I had dated much younger before and that experience was my wake up call to just go back to fun relationships with minimal expectations. When a 45yo dates a woman in her 20s it’s not going to last more than one to three months and she’s going to be the one who ends it. Each time does make it a little easier to get the relationship started and a little easier to move on when it ends.

Despite my outward confidence, I know that there’s a shelf life for how much longer I can pull this off. I am in shape and have a high profile career so that helps, but at some point sooner than later I’ll be too old. Not sure what I’ll do then.

[Anonymous]

Real estate.

Younger women in expensive cities can't afford the lifestyles they want, so they date older men.

Only 1% of the population marries with more than a 20 year age difference.

The majority of people marry with a two to three year age difference.

Anything more than 5 years, is doomed to fail.

I can understand better why women would want to date younger men, better in bed and no erectile dysfunction.