Using a popular name anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

I frequent these baby name threads enough to recognize this "not another Sophia" anecdote having appeared in one or two other such threads. PP loves trotting it out. She's a baby naming expert based on her experience naming one child who is not yet 2 years old (but who apparent has been in multiple "classes" despite not yet being able to speak in sentences and the fact she was born during a pandemic).

I am mildly skeptical that this anecdote, or that PP's alleged child, is real at this point, or not extremely exaggerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use what you like. If you don't mind it being popular, that's all that matters.

I guess the kid doesn’t matter.

There's no way to know whether the kid will be one of the people who doesn't mind a popular name, or doesn't mind an unpopular name.

Yup. I disliked my common name, so I went the other direction for my kids. But I knew full well they might hate those names at some point, and I accept that. I did my best based on my experience. That’s all any of us can do.

Agreed, which is why posters saying they roll their eyes at kids with more popular names (babies! They roll their eyes at newborn babies fir having perfectly lovely names that happen to be more common) is obnoxious to me. I don’t know a single parent what was like “whatever let’s just pick one of these top ten names out if a hat, I could care less.” But I do know multiple parents who fell in love with a name, discovered it was more popular than they were expecting, and went with it anyway because that didn’t seem like a good enough reason to give up their favorite name.

Criticizing that seems ridiculous to me, and does seem like pushing variety and novelty for the sake of itself.

Calm down Ms. Lovejoy, PPs are clearly rolling their eyes at the parents.

+1. We roll our eyes at the parents and feel bad for the child. There’s a world of difference between unique names and underused names. Pick an underused name.

Yes, pitying a newborn child for receiving [gasp!] a top 10 name isn't obnoxious at all. Some people don't want to "pick an underused name." Some people want to name their baby after their beloved grandmother Elizabeth. Some people met their spouse in an English Lit course and want to name their kids after Charlotte and Emily Bronte (and to this lovely couple I would say "Don't forget Anne! Everyone always forgets Anne!"). Some people are are trying to recreate the Golden Girls and decided to start with Sofia because she was the oldest, but don't worry -- Dorothy and Blanche and Rose are less common names!

What if someone ran around harassing you? Pick a more common name! Pick a classic name! Pick a name I've heard of! It's obnoxious. People have their own reasons for picking names, they might not match up with yours. Live and let live.

(What are you going to do if your kid's name suddenly gets really popular?? That happened to my name, actually. It was in the 400s or 500s when my parents picked it, and became a top 10 name within a few years. I guess they were at the cutting edge of a name trend and had no idea. Good luck because I think your brain is going to melt if that happens with your kids' names.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use what you like. If you don't mind it being popular, that's all that matters.

I guess the kid doesn’t matter.

There's no way to know whether the kid will be one of the people who doesn't mind a popular name, or doesn't mind an unpopular name.

Yup. I disliked my common name, so I went the other direction for my kids. But I knew full well they might hate those names at some point, and I accept that. I did my best based on my experience. That’s all any of us can do.

Agreed, which is why posters saying they roll their eyes at kids with more popular names (babies! They roll their eyes at newborn babies fir having perfectly lovely names that happen to be more common) is obnoxious to me. I don’t know a single parent what was like “whatever let’s just pick one of these top ten names out if a hat, I could care less.” But I do know multiple parents who fell in love with a name, discovered it was more popular than they were expecting, and went with it anyway because that didn’t seem like a good enough reason to give up their favorite name.

Criticizing that seems ridiculous to me, and does seem like pushing variety and novelty for the sake of itself.

OP. The name is Charlotte. The bolded part is us. I made a list of 15-20 names I liked. Husband did the same. It was the only name that overlapped I personally only know one person with the name Charlotte and that person was an elementary school classmate and I'm in my 30s. Obviously I know there are lots of others out there and its not like I thought the name was uncommon but I didn't realize it was in the top 5 until I saw people complaining about it on here.

It’s lovely but an extremely popular name. Prince William and Kate’s daughter’s name. There is one Charlotte in every baby class my 16 month old has been in. You didn’t know it was popular because you aren’t around newborns but you soon will be.

I have a 6 and a 3 year old and we know no Charlottes in that age bracket. It's luck of the draw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

I frequent these baby name threads enough to recognize this "not another Sophia" anecdote having appeared in one or two other such threads. PP loves trotting it out. She's a baby naming expert based on her experience naming one child who is not yet 2 years old (but who apparent has been in multiple "classes" despite not yet being able to speak in sentences and the fact she was born during a pandemic).

I am mildly skeptical that this anecdote, or that PP's alleged child, is real at this point, or not extremely exaggerated.

I'm a Sarah and the popularity of my name has literally never bothered me. Ever. I always had another Sarah in my grade (maybe not in my class, but they were around...) but it was so far from a big deal as to be something I only learned I should care about when I started visiting DCUM message boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

I frequent these baby name threads enough to recognize this "not another Sophia" anecdote having appeared in one or two other such threads. PP loves trotting it out. She's a baby naming expert based on her experience naming one child who is not yet 2 years old (but who apparent has been in multiple "classes" despite not yet being able to speak in sentences and the fact she was born during a pandemic).

I am mildly skeptical that this anecdote, or that PP's alleged child, is real at this point, or not extremely exaggerated.

I'm a Sarah and the popularity of my name has literally never bothered me. Ever. I always had another Sarah in my grade (maybe not in my class, but they were around...) but it was so far from a big deal as to be something I only learned I should care about when I started visiting DCUM message boards.

I have truly never encountered this much vitriol and consternation about giving a child a relatively popular name as on these boards. It's crazy. I have friends who gave their kids more popular names and friends who gave their kids very unique names and I had never really thought of it as anything more than a personal preference until I came to DCUM.

I am very glad I didn't discover this website when I was pregnant. I had a lot going on and was very stressed out and these boards would have driven me over the edge, I think. People here need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use what you like. If you don't mind it being popular, that's all that matters.

I guess the kid doesn’t matter.

There's no way to know whether the kid will be one of the people who doesn't mind a popular name, or doesn't mind an unpopular name.

Yup. I disliked my common name, so I went the other direction for my kids. But I knew full well they might hate those names at some point, and I accept that. I did my best based on my experience. That’s all any of us can do.

Agreed, which is why posters saying they roll their eyes at kids with more popular names (babies! They roll their eyes at newborn babies fir having perfectly lovely names that happen to be more common) is obnoxious to me. I don’t know a single parent what was like “whatever let’s just pick one of these top ten names out if a hat, I could care less.” But I do know multiple parents who fell in love with a name, discovered it was more popular than they were expecting, and went with it anyway because that didn’t seem like a good enough reason to give up their favorite name.

Criticizing that seems ridiculous to me, and does seem like pushing variety and novelty for the sake of itself.

Calm down Ms. Lovejoy, PPs are clearly rolling their eyes at the parents.

+1. We roll our eyes at the parents and feel bad for the child. There’s a world of difference between unique names and underused names. Pick an underused name.

Why should they care what someone as judgmental as you cares what they name their child? It’s not necessary to pick an underused name. Just pick a name you love.

DP. They shouldn’t care about the PP, they should care about their child and make a less selfish decision.

It is not selfish to pick a popular name. Why would someone picking a popular name suggest they don't care about their child? not everyone wants an unpopular name. Not everyone cares so much. As has been pointed out multiple times on this thread, it's entirely possible to have a top 10 name and still not meet many other kids w that name as even the popular names aren't actually that common. If it needs to be said again, I'll say that I have 3 kids (2 of whom are in elementary school and participate in multiple extracurricular activities) and only know a few kids w/ names on the top 10 list: we know 3 Olivias, 1 Oliver, 1 Liam, 1 Benjamin, and 1 family that has both a Henry and a Charlotte. That is it. We don't know a single baby/kid named Ava, Sophia, Isabella, Mia, Amelia, Emma, Noah, Elijah, William, James, Alexander, Evelyn, or Harper. Not a one. I have a cousin named Emma who is 25, a friend named Sophia who is in her late 30s as I am, and I know several adult Williams and James and Alexanders. Otherwise, we don't hear any of those names! We hear unusual names or names from different languages/cultures often but hardly ever hear top 10 names. It's just not the issue many posters here seem to think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

The PP’s point is that the name popularity stays with you in your generation. And it’s a pain. Glad you’re okay with it, Elizabeth, but I never have been. I am still Katie Q or called by my last name. There are four Katies in my office and have always been at least two other Katies in every class or group I ever joined.

[Anonymous]

Posters are enormously defensive about their child’s popular name which is understandable. No one wants to think their kids name rolls people’s eyes! Or that they just followed the naming trends without thought.

And people who hate overused or popular names really hate them.

It’s always going to be like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

The PP’s point is that the name popularity stays with you in your generation. And it’s a pain. Glad you’re okay with it, Elizabeth, but I never have been. I am still Katie Q or called by my last name. There are four Katies in my office and have always been at least two other Katies in every class or group I ever joined.

+1 (another DP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posters are enormously defensive about their child’s popular name which is understandable. No one wants to think their kids name rolls people’s eyes! Or that they just followed the naming trends without thought.

And people who hate overused or popular names really hate them.

It’s always going to be like this.

I mean, I fully blame the "ugh popular names are WRONG" people on this one. My kid does not even have a popular name! And I purposefully did not want to giver her one because I have a popular name and didn't like it. So I get where these people are coming from, I just think they are being rude and unnecessarily judgmental about it. It is rude to say you "roll your eyes" at someone's name choice, that you feel sorry for kids with certain names, or that someone named their kid unthinkingly. Those are mean things to say about someone's baby name that they almost certainly put a ton of effort and thinking into and is now associated with one of the people they love more than anyone else on the planet. Of course people are going to be defensive about it.

It's like talking sh!t about any super personal decision. If this was a thread about careers, and there were people in here saying they roll their eyes at people who become massage therapists, and feel sorry for their families, then if there were any massage therapists in here, they would definitely defend themselves because that's an oddly personal attack on someone else's life choice. And I'd again be on the side of the massage therapists there even though I'm not one because it is just really obnoxious to attack people in that way.

You are right that it will always be this way, but that's not because anyone is unthinkingly giving their kids "overused" names (I would argue there are no overused names now and haven't been for many years because even the most popular names are simply not that popular). It's because people are judgmental and rude and like feeling superior and then lording it over other people. Basically, the "GIVE YOUR CHILD AN UNDERUSED NAME OR I REVOKE YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS" people are being aholes and creating a lot of drama.

I think Charlotte is a pretty name. Too popular for my taste but I wouldn't judge someone else for using it -- there will never be perfectly even distribution of names, so there will always be more popular names. It's fine. At least the more popular names do tend to be pretty and versatile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, pitying a newborn child for receiving [gasp!] a top 10 name isn't obnoxious at all. Some people don't want to "pick an underused name." Some people want to name their baby after their beloved grandmother Elizabeth. Some people met their spouse in an English Lit course and want to name their kids after Charlotte and Emily Bronte (and to this lovely couple I would say "Don't forget Anne! Everyone always forgets Anne!"). Some people are are trying to recreate the Golden Girls and decided to start with Sofia because she was the oldest, but don't worry -- Dorothy and Blanche and Rose are less common names!

What if someone ran around harassing you? Pick a more common name! Pick a classic name! Pick a name I've heard of! It's obnoxious. People have their own reasons for picking names, they might not match up with yours. Live and let live.

(What are you going to do if your kid's name suddenly gets really popular?? That happened to my name, actually. It was in the 400s or 500s when my parents picked it, and became a top 10 name within a few years. I guess they were at the cutting edge of a name trend and had no idea. Good luck because I think your brain is going to melt if that happens with your kids' names.)

This happened with my best friend in college. Her mom was super unconventional but this girl's name was Jennifer. She asked her mom WHY did you name me Jennifer??? Well, she named her right before Love Story came out and that's what sparked the Jennifer trend. It was an underused name before that.

Geography also matters -- I was born on the east coast and given a name that was fairly popular but then moved to CA as a baby and never knew anyone with my name. I never particularly liked it, seemed "old" vs the more trendy names popular in CA. It's been a bit odd to move back to the east coast now have multiple friends with the same name. It actually makes me like my name more!

Ultimately, you just have to pick a name you like and try to tune out the peanut gallery. No guarantee your kid will like it either way. FWIW, one of my kids has a popular name and the other an under-used name. We love them both and had specific reasons for selecting each one and both kids say they like their names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, pitying a newborn child for receiving [gasp!] a top 10 name isn't obnoxious at all. Some people don't want to "pick an underused name." Some people want to name their baby after their beloved grandmother Elizabeth. Some people met their spouse in an English Lit course and want to name their kids after Charlotte and Emily Bronte (and to this lovely couple I would say "Don't forget Anne! Everyone always forgets Anne!"). Some people are are trying to recreate the Golden Girls and decided to start with Sofia because she was the oldest, but don't worry -- Dorothy and Blanche and Rose are less common names!

What if someone ran around harassing you? Pick a more common name! Pick a classic name! Pick a name I've heard of! It's obnoxious. People have their own reasons for picking names, they might not match up with yours. Live and let live.

(What are you going to do if your kid's name suddenly gets really popular?? That happened to my name, actually. It was in the 400s or 500s when my parents picked it, and became a top 10 name within a few years. I guess they were at the cutting edge of a name trend and had no idea. Good luck because I think your brain is going to melt if that happens with your kids' names.)

This happened with my best friend in college. Her mom was super unconventional but this girl's name was Jennifer. She asked her mom WHY did you name me Jennifer??? Well, she named her right before Love Story came out and that's what sparked the Jennifer trend. It was an underused name before that.

Geography also matters -- I was born on the east coast and given a name that was fairly popular but then moved to CA as a baby and never knew anyone with my name. I never particularly liked it, seemed "old" vs the more trendy names popular in CA. It's been a bit odd to move back to the east coast now have multiple friends with the same name. It actually makes me like my name more!

Ultimately, you just have to pick a name you like and try to tune out the peanut gallery. No guarantee your kid will like it either way. FWIW, one of my kids has a popular name and the other an under-used name. We love them both and had specific reasons for selecting each one and both kids say they like their names.

Whew, a rational and reasoned response. What a relief!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that the name will always be popular in her generation. There will be three other women with her name in the old peoples home. Ask your mother or mother-in-law whose name is Susan what that feels like.

DH really wanted to name our DD Sophia and I mixed it based only on its popularity. In hospital he mentioned that he wanted to name the baby Sophia and the nurses all said, “Not another Sophia!” DD is 15 months and we’ve never been in any class where there isn’t at least two Sophia’s.

When I am in an old folks home I will not give ONE SH*T if there are 10 other women with my name. What a stupid thing to worry about.

(My name is Elizabeth, top 20 pretty much always. My life is fine I promise)

I frequent these baby name threads enough to recognize this "not another Sophia" anecdote having appeared in one or two other such threads. PP loves trotting it out. She's a baby naming expert based on her experience naming one child who is not yet 2 years old (but who apparent has been in multiple "classes" despite not yet being able to speak in sentences and the fact she was born during a pandemic).

I am mildly skeptical that this anecdote, or that PP's alleged child, is real at this point, or not extremely exaggerated.

I'm a Sarah and the popularity of my name has literally never bothered me. Ever. I always had another Sarah in my grade (maybe not in my class, but they were around...) but it was so far from a big deal as to be something I only learned I should care about when I started visiting DCUM message boards.

+1. My name was pretty popular in the 90s and there was always at least one other girl in my grade. It was a bit annoying (mostly because the other one in middle school really got on my nerves) but didn't make me hate my name.

We named our daughter Sarah because we loved the name, it was the name of DH's great-grandmother, and it was classic without being currently super popular. We also struggled a lot with infertility so we liked the connection to Sarah in the Bible. Then I go on forums and see people saying that parents who name their kids that obviously put no thought into the name at all because it's so boring and blah. We've met one or two other little Sarahs and DD is always excited when that happens.

[Anonymous]

I'll say, I do kind of roll my eyes at a few of the popular name choices, or I feel sorry for the parents who maybe didn't realize the popularity because I do think it detracts from the specialness of the name. But this is all very minor in the scheme of things. I am much more eye-rolly at those with names I straight up can't stand (ie, a whole category of popular names where girls are named old white guys names for some reason). And I'm sure no one cares about that either. So - OP - you do the name you love, and ignore the haters.

I'm thinking I might do the same since my favorite names are sadly quite in vogue right now (old lady names).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names follow trends. I do internally roll my eyes when I hear someone introduce their baby with a super common name. Like, come on, you couldn’t think out of the trend-pressure for one second?!

+1. No name is inherently prettier than another - it’s simply current fashion. I roll my eyes too.

+2 It’s like naming her “child.”

Except it's really not when even the most popular names are like .8%> of all babies born in a given year.

But there are regional trends, too. In the DC area, I know multiple Claras, Isabelle/Isobel/Annabels, Avas/Evas, Ellas, Charlottes, Harpers, Olivias, Evelyns, Sophias. Those all rank somewhere in the top 25-30 nationally, but probably top 10 locally.