Pretending to be Southern

[Anonymous]

This came up in the most recent episode of the Maintenance Phase podcast, on Rachel Hollis (the "Girl, Wash Your Face" lady). She is from California but inexplicably speaks with a southern accent and refers to herself as southern when she gives talks (and maybe in her books, too). She seems grating on about 40 different levels, but this was the detail that really pushed me over the edge. It's so weird! It is no different, really, than feigning a British accent or something.

OP, your husband is being ridiculous. And possibly damaging -- stuff like this could really mess up your kids because he's encourage them to be fake just to stand out and be different. That's such an awful message to send to kids who need to feel accepted and loved for who they are.

The fact that he does it to you, too, is crazy. He should got to therapy, and you should absolutely refuse to play along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This came up in the most recent episode of the Maintenance Phase podcast, on Rachel Hollis (the "Girl, Wash Your Face" lady). She is from California but inexplicably speaks with a southern accent and refers to herself as southern when she gives talks (and maybe in her books, too). She seems grating on about 40 different levels, but this was the detail that really pushed me over the edge. It's so weird! It is no different, really, than feigning a British accent or something.

OP, your husband is being ridiculous. And possibly damaging -- stuff like this could really mess up your kids because he's encourage them to be fake just to stand out and be different. That's such an awful message to send to kids who need to feel accepted and loved for who they are.

The fact that he does it to you, too, is crazy. He should got to therapy, and you should absolutely refuse to play along.

It’s not a new phenomenon. Madonna would switch to a British accent sometimes. Hillary Clinton would inexplicably switch to a southern accent as well. It’s really no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from northern VA. One of my childhood friends went to UNC and she came back for winter break with a full on southern accent and a love of country music. It was so weird (she joined a sorority so I guess it was like a Southern Immersion Program or something!)

Sororities are not southern immersion programs dumbass.

NP here, who is from RVA, went to UNC and was in a sorority.

GMAFB with that brew ha ha story. Don’t believe a lick of it. Sounds kind your friend was pretty smart to get in OOS. Go Heels!

What’s a brew ha ha story.
Brew ha ha? Do you mean broo ha ha?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from northern VA. One of my childhood friends went to UNC and she came back for winter break with a full on southern accent and a love of country music. It was so weird (she joined a sorority so I guess it was like a Southern Immersion Program or something!)

Sororities are not southern immersion programs dumbass.

NP here, who is from RVA, went to UNC and was in a sorority.

GMAFB with that brew ha ha story. Don’t believe a lick of it. Sounds kind your friend was pretty smart to get in OOS. Go Heels!

What’s a brew ha ha story.
Brew ha ha? Do you mean broo ha ha?

Or, maybe even, brouhaha? (Yeah, I got into UNC OOS ‘cause of my mad spelling skills. Go Heels!)

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds so bizarre, OP. Annoying too.

I’m Southern. FWIW, I know how plenty of people who call their mothers Mama but also plenty more who call their mothers Mom, Mother. Mama is not the most prevalent and it seems weird your husband is stuck on that term. And I have never heard anyone southern call a backyard get together w grilled food a cookout. They absolutely call it a BBQ. And BBQ is ALSO synonymous w pulled pork, as others have noted. It is used to describe backyard parties and the actual BBQed food itself.

[Anonymous]

OP, I really want to know why your DH does this?? Does he have an explanation?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the laughs. You have enabled me to laugh when this is happening instead of being frustrated. Thank you!

The reason my husband does this is because he wants our kids' orientation to be southern in hopes that this will cause them to go to school in the south, to be drawn to friends who use similar phrases and terms, and to just have more of a southern mentality. He finds southern women attractive and he wants our kids to be like the southern women he knows. In his opinion, southerners are more hospitable and he prefers theirs mannerisms.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is acting like a freak. Saying y’all doesn’t make you hospitable. Why doesn’t he focus on the attitude and behaviors he wants the children to develop? If you are not southern, then when he “corrects” you it’s actually insulting you and your own origins, suggesting they are inferior to the faux south he is trying to cultivate. That’s obnoxious. And please also tell him that this fakery will cause people to reject him and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is acting like a freak. Saying y’all doesn’t make you hospitable. Why doesn’t he focus on the attitude and behaviors he wants the children to develop? If you are not southern, then when he “corrects” you it’s actually insulting you and your own origins, suggesting they are inferior to the faux south he is trying to cultivate. That’s obnoxious. And please also tell him that this fakery will cause people to reject him and your kids.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

I mean, maybe it's an attempt to break from the drab and generic soul sucking place that is nova. On the other hand, it sounds quite weird.

[Anonymous]

OP did your husband go to VA Tech by any chance? My friend went there - grew up in Woodbridge without any hint of interest in the south, came out of Tech talking like goddamned Foghorn Leghorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is acting like a freak. Saying y’all doesn’t make you hospitable. Why doesn’t he focus on the attitude and behaviors he wants the children to develop? If you are not southern, then when he “corrects” you it’s actually insulting you and your own origins, suggesting they are inferior to the faux south he is trying to cultivate. That’s obnoxious. And please also tell him that this fakery will cause people to reject him and your kids.

Yep.

Agree, it's also treating being "Southern" as some generic identity that he is cherry picking some language and behaviors he believes are "Southern". There may be a cultural concept of what being "Southern" is but as is clearly evident in this thread there's a lot of regional, class and racial/ethnic difference within what an outsider would consider "Southern". People are going to think your kids are faking an identity, or making fun of Southern people, or will just be totally boggled.

It's somewhat understandable to adopt some common phrases/behaviors from a place you live in but are not actually from- I'm a military brat and moved a ton, and my parents ended up settling in Central Virginia and then retired in North Carolina when I was older, and were in more rural areas that would be considered the "South". but even though I lived in those places I'm not Southern and wouldn't pretend I was born and raised in rural VA/NC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from northern VA. One of my childhood friends went to UNC and she came back for winter break with a full on southern accent and a love of country music. It was so weird (she joined a sorority so I guess it was like a Southern Immersion Program or something!)

Sororities are not southern immersion programs dumbass.

NP here, who is from RVA, went to UNC and was in a sorority.

GMAFB with that brew ha ha story. Don’t believe a lick of it. Sounds kind your friend was pretty smart to get in OOS. Go Heels!

What’s a brew ha ha story.
Brew ha ha? Do you mean broo ha ha?

Reminds me of a Bob & Tom bit from a long, long time ago. They did a commercial for "Funny Beer."
"New: Funny Beer! We would have called it Brew-Ha-Ha, but that would have been too clever!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a terrible idea. In the rest of the world, people prefer the southern accent to the standard American accent.

Which Southern accent? The genteel, sweet as molasses, slow drawl? Or the Cletus, “The Slack-jawed Yokel,” (from the Simpsons) one? There isn’t one Southern accent.

THANK YOU for recognizing this. So much of America doesn't.
--A Southerner who gets irked when people think we all sound like Cletus and that all Southerners are inherently dumb

To northerners, you do. And we don't think you're all dumb.

Don’t lump all us Northerners together; I’m the one who wrote above that there is not just one Southern accent. Saying all Southerners sound alike is like saying all Americans who aren’t Southern sound alike, whether they’re from Philly or the Bronx or LA or Boston or Anchorage or Salt Lake City or Des Moines. There are multiple different accents across the state of Ohio, for God’s sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a terrible idea. In the rest of the world, people prefer the southern accent to the standard American accent.

Which Southern accent? The genteel, sweet as molasses, slow drawl? Or the Cletus, “The Slack-jawed Yokel,” (from the Simpsons) one? There isn’t one Southern accent.

THANK YOU for recognizing this. So much of America doesn't.
--A Southerner who gets irked when people think we all sound like Cletus and that all Southerners are inherently dumb

To northerners, you do. And we don't think you're all dumb.

Don’t lump all us Northerners together; I’m the one who wrote above that there is not just one Southern accent. Saying all Southerners sound alike is like saying all Americans who aren’t Southern sound alike, whether they’re from Philly or the Bronx or LA or Boston or Anchorage or Salt Lake City or Des Moines. There are multiple different accents across the state of Ohio, for God’s sake.

Northerner here and agree completely. Same is true of England and "the" British accent - they are as varied and diverse as ours. Also, shout out to Pork Roll a/k/a Taylor Ham!