Who is wrong here?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is bringing me to a family picnic. This is my second time meeting his family. The first time was at thanksgiving. This time I will be meeting even more family members.

After letting him know I was feee to come with him he gave me this long talk about how I did not look nice in Thanksgiving and his family said bad things about me to him. He told me I need to “look pretty@ for the picnic and that he would take me shopping to get a new outfit for it.

This was really upsetting to me. Now we are both upset. Who’s right?

[Anonymous]

That’s awful. I’m so sorry. I would be upset.

[Anonymous]

What an ass, I would dump him.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong for entertaining this. This is insane in my world. I hope you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no! Dump him.

[Anonymous]

Dump him.

He’s awful, and so is his family.

DUMP HIM, DUMP THEM.

[Anonymous]

What did they say specifically (I mean generally without identifying detail—like were you dressed down while everyone was formal or dressed for church? Or did you not wear whatever name brands they were expecting? No make up? Or clothes too plain Jane for male family?) and is his family woman dominated or more males?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him.

He’s awful, and so is his family.

DUMP HIM, DUMP THEM.

+1 get your free outfit first. And new shoes.

[Anonymous]

Get your free outfit and then dump him. Normally I would not say this but he should literally pay for telling you this.

[Anonymous]

Did you show up in athleisure or sweats? That can be perceived as rude in some cultures or families. The casualness of many people today really isn't appropriate in a lot of settings.

If he just didn't like your outfit or you weren't wearing makeup, that's a different story.

The biggest problem I see is the way he phrased this request. It's awful that he's making you wonder if people are talking about you behind your back. Is this a pattern? That seems like the cruelest way to make this point, because how can you ever relax around these people again?

[Anonymous]

What did u wear?

Maybe he’s being helpful and maybe he’s a d!@k too hard to tell.

[Anonymous]

Red Flag 🚩
Your boyfriend & his family are wrong

End the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I would absorb what they said made you look bad. Is there any truth to it? If so, learn from that, adjust in a way that can help you in the future. Then I would get the outfit and new shoes, maybe even go to the picnic as a sort of FU, then dump him.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did u wear?

Maybe he’s being helpful and maybe he’s a d!@k too hard to tell.

If she was truly dressed inappropriately and he was being helpful he would have suggested dressing up on Thanksgiving morning, not shaming her almost 7 months later.