WFH/working parents who refuse to use childcare?
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Anonymous
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It’s fine when you have a workaround, but what’s up with this? I have had THREE friends where one of the parents works outside of the home and the other WFH, and they think, we can do this without a nanny or daycare! When the baby was a newborn and sleeping a lot, and through the potato phase where it really did nothing all day, and even through the early, immobile stages, it worked out fine. Now all of a sudden the baby is crawling and sleeping less and they are completely dumbfounded that this isn’t going to be sustainable.
Now there is a fourth who keeps calling on me or my teen daughter to rescue her towards the end of her work day, because she’s overwhelmed. What’s the mindset here? Is it cheapness? Grandiosity? Ignorance? To me it would be so blatantly obvious that this would not ever work as a long-term solution. And still, instead of throwing money at the issue, they scramble and complain. |
Anonymous
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It's their problem, not yours. Why are you worked up about this?
I worked freelance with a baby at home and minimal childcare and it was fine. Eventually I enrolled her ina coop playgroup three days a week so I had 10-15 hours a week where I knew I could work. Occasionally I got a sitter. Never has regular childcare and it worked out well. Would not have worked with a standard 9-5 job but I didn't have one of those on purpose. |
Anonymous
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My workplace is very clear that having childcare (or dependent eldercare) is a condition of teleworking.
"Oh okay, I've heard good things about X daycare". Whether you want to bail out your friend is your choice (you can say no and I would in that situation) but definitely don't have your daughter do it unless she 100% wants to and she's getting paid to babysit. |
Anonymous
| Glad you have them all figured out |
Anonymous
| Yes cheapness |
Anonymous
It’s definitely a “omg I can’t believe the baby is a live thing that needs me” type of situation, and she can’t believe it’s 2pm and she hasn’t gotten any work done and when teen is home from school can you or she come snuggle the baby so I can finish my work? I’m frazzled!” And no, no money. That’s what friendship is all about, right? |
Anonymous
| Must be your social circle. $550k HHI (DH nd I both work FT) and not one person I know socially or at work tries this BS. |
Anonymous
Right but they might not work at a place with a childcare requirement. If they do, they will likely be found out. All OP has to do is say she and her daughter are unavailable to babysit (unless they are available and want to do it). The rest of it has nothing to do with OP and she's being nosy and judgmental for no reason. Probably out of that misplaced sense of bitterness about their own experience with balancing work and motherhood that causes so much meanness between women. |
Anonymous
You are being a huge b. Sorry, you need to know this. If she asks for help with the baby, say no. End of conversation. You can't help. If you or your daughter wants to do it for money, say "I'm available but my rate is XYZ." All the other judgment is about you and your own BS. Calling this woman your "friend" and then talking about her like you despise her us disingenuous. She may or may not be being ridiculous,I'd have to know her actual situation to say. But you are being an ahole. |
Anonymous
Or actual lack of funds. Childcare is expensive. Some people actually do struggle to afford it. |
Anonymous
No, because that's your friend, not your daughter's friend. You can't offer up her time and labor like that. You want to do it for friendship, you be the ine to do it. And we all know that it's a lot more than snuggling a baby. |
Anonymous
Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to weigh in. |
Anonymous
You are rich. Child care is costly when your hhi is $150k or so. |
Anonymous
It's obviously not OP's friend. OP clearly hates this woman. |
Anonymous
Their high paying job lets them slack off. |