Overbearing parents of adult children

[Anonymous]

What has been your experience dealing with overbearing and controlling parents during your adult years, particularly around 18/19? A friend’s parent’s still try to tell her what to do at age 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What has been your experience dealing with overbearing and controlling parents during your adult years, particularly around 18/19? A friend’s parent’s still try to tell her what to do at age 18.

Just listen to your mother.

[Anonymous]

Is this 18/19 year old’s life fully funded by their parents and do they live at home rent free?

The more dependence on your parents for your day to day life makes some parents feel like they have more of a say in decisions.

The easiest way to avoid overbearing parents is to live independently.

[Anonymous]

Financing your own life? Then your parents have no say. That's the goal. Work hard to get there as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this 18/19 year old’s life fully funded by their parents and do they live at home rent free?

The more dependence on your parents for your day to day life makes some parents feel like they have more of a say in decisions.

The easiest way to avoid overbearing parents is to live independently.

She’s still in HS right now, but going to college. They still treat her like a child, not only over big things, but also small everyday things, like eating dinner or what time to go to bed.

[Anonymous]

My mother planned all the college courses I was taking at which time/day/semester. I had to live at home for college and she insisted on seeing what I was wearing each day before I left home.

Until the day I left home to move out, if I walked out of a room my mother was in she'd ask where I was going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this 18/19 year old’s life fully funded by their parents and do they live at home rent free?

The more dependence on your parents for your day to day life makes some parents feel like they have more of a say in decisions.

The easiest way to avoid overbearing parents is to live independently.

She’s still in HS right now, but going to college. They still treat her like a child, not only over big things, but also small everyday things, like eating dinner or what time to go to bed.

She’s in high school and lives there for now, so she will have to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

There more or less agreeable ways to be that controlling, OP. My oldest has autism and ADHD, with very poor sleep hygiene, and I am still issuing wellness reminders and college/work- related recommendations to him, at 21. I try to be as nice about it as I can, but clear, since his autism makes him often unable to take hints. He's very passive and badly needs guidance.

On the other hand, being cruel, rude or dismissive is never OK. I hope the parents you're referring to are not that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financing your own life? Then your parents have no say. That's the goal. Work hard to get there as soon as you can.

+1. Your friend needs to work OT to become financially and emotionally independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has been your experience dealing with overbearing and controlling parents during your adult years, particularly around 18/19? A friend’s parent’s still try to tell her what to do at age 18.

Just listen to your mother.

+1

[Anonymous]

Their house, their rules.

[Anonymous]

So many posts today, OP? Not taking any AP exams this week?

[Anonymous]

There’s no reason as to why they need to tell her when and what dinner to eat, when to go to bed, and when to come back home. They just do. She’s an adult and doesn’t get adult freedoms. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no reason as to why they need to tell her when and what dinner to eat, when to go to bed, and when to come back home. They just do. She’s an adult and doesn’t get adult freedoms. -OP

Is this your friend, OP, or yourself?

The most powerful wins. That's the law of the jungle. As long as this young person is dependent on her parents, they can choose to be very intrusive, and as long as it's not abuse (and it is not!)... no one can do anything about it.

Better learn that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financing your own life? Then your parents have no say. That's the goal. Work hard to get there as soon as you can.

+1